sitting in the passenger seat of your car at 2 am felt more like home than any other place ever did.

At 2 am broken thoughts
Seeped out of my skin and soaked the bedsheets
At 1 am writing diary entries
Because happy things happened and
Forgetting sadness requires remembering happiness
At 12 am on the computer
Wasting away life for a lack of motivation,
Becoming motivated,
And then self loathing for wasting life
At 11 pm drawing a picture
(Because someone else wanted it)

The things i really want
They are scattered in between the carpet
And peel and tear at my feet when i walk across it
At 2 am im a broken thought

Gosh, this silence kills me.
Call me crazy but I can perfectly hear faint whispers of all my past mistakes.
****--I keep reminding myself that my past doesn't define me.
Surely, the past that I am not fond of was a consequence of a ghost.
That ghost was and is me but not the better version of me that is attempting desperately to stop ******* up.
I am forced to live with all ghosts of myself whether I fess up to them or not.
Somebody please save me from what I am becoming, I'm so scared.
I don't know what happened-- I swear not too long ago I was a not well understood, ***** 17 year old.
Then, ugh. Man, life suddenly hits hard and it *****.
I want to go back in time- before I knew you existed, before my heart felt so heavy, before I was so bored that I would run back to anyone not to be lonely.
Speaking of loneliness: This cold, sickening late May Chicago weather makes me wish I wasn't so alone.
Seems impossible that my life is going to fall into place at this point.
Not trying to be dramatic- just don't know how to not let the people haunting me in my past affect my relationships with others I have yet to encounter.
I wish I could go back in time to my old self and hold my hand.
My last wish is impossible of course, yet I can pretend.
So here I go pretending I know everything and I'm just going to say this once and for all..............ITS OK.


I think.

its easy
to love me
at 2a.m.
If I'm happy.

but what if,
I'm on the bathroom floor,
upset.

I know that the whole thing about love is it's who you miss at 2pm when you're busy, not 2am when you're lonely.
Baby it's 8:50pm and I'm as lonely as I've ever been.

I can't stand my friends when they're with their other, my love life is lived through them.
Its not that I want what they have,
Its that I want to feel warm arms around my body instead of the cold embrace of my AC.

It's that I want someone to run shivers down my back by placing their cold hands on my bare side and allow my body heat to warm them.
Its that I want to feel a deep passionate love.

Its that all it ever is is me and me alone.

Is that what you thought when I told you we were done?

Did you think to yourself "I hope you enjoy the cold arms of the lovers who don't actually love you?"
"You'll miss the way I looked at you"
"You'll miss the way I kissed you"
"You'll miss the way I loved you"

Did you think how happy you would be to see me so sad?
Because you know I can't help myself and I can't stay away from you,
Even if you're poison to my veins.

Did you, in after being months apart, me running to you, looking for shelter from the rain, have the joy in seeing my face twist in agony as you push me away?

Did you ask yourself if I ever loved you,
And convince yourself I didn't?
If leaving you twice times the same way was so simple so must the third
But darling I'm falling.

I'm falling into pits of my own darkness.

I saw a pencil sharpener and took out the blade.
I cleaned it and hid it and think about it every day.
And right after the thought of that I think of you and what you would say

You May not be my 2pm thought
But you're my thought at 9pm
When I tell my demons no
And throw my blade away.

It's 2:37AM,
and I'm still awake
thinking of you, dear.

- E.I

2 am
Knows all about us-
The love that was once lost
And how we found it
Just to lose it all over again.

I wonder what people think
When they read my poems
Do they think I'm just another
Case of unrequited love?
Oh, I am definitely not.

I just read this story
Of a girl who loved a guy so much
She turned into a bird
And sang such sad songs
The guy's bride heart broke and she died

2am
Knows all about my conspirational plans
I make with the stars
How what should be mine, what I love
I mean to ****** away from this world

This is
Not a poem about unrequited love
But distance
And the society that smirks upon
The lovers sighing in solitude

I just read this story
About this girl
How she loved a guy
Who did not love her back and
how that killed her bit by bit every moment

2m knows
How I wish I was in her situation
I could have loved him
And loved him and loved him
until I did not

But the guy I love
Is right now crying himself to sleep
Because he finally found love
But not where he expected it to be
Miles away, away from his reach

His love is true, her love is ever growing
But like every star crossed lovers
They have an inevitable tragic ending
But there is so much art in
an ending like this

2am
knows how the empty side of my bed whispers his name
"Close your eyes darling, in your dreams
I'll always be yours, forever and more"

its almost 2AM
why didnt you say
Goodnight ?

There's something about two in the morning
that gets the thought of you running through my head
Im not sure weather to be delighted or frightened
Even though the thought of you can be so exciting
You're the one who made my thoughts turn into death
Yet, i love you in so many ways it hurts
But inside i know it's not as worse as living with your curse
Your blessing is something I'll never forget
But a girl like you is a devil in a dress
Dressed so nicely
It can remind you of picking flowers on a beautiful summers day
A girl who's beauty never failed to amuse me
A girl who's behaviour never failed to confuse me
But with just the slightest touch of your lips
I go on a bigger trip than any other drug i could have ever done
Shrooms and acid can't compare to euphoria you make me feel
But with every drug there comes a good and bad
The only bad thing about you;
is that you're the best drug i've ever had