Shaima Al-Marzouqi

Shaima Al-Marzouqi Jan 2015

I always felt like I was suffocating her
Feared that she's seeing too much of me
Got afraid that she'll get sick of me

So I gave her space
I backed a little and waited
Waited to see how long would it take
her to think and wonder about me
How long would it take her to remember me

I was always the one who initiated
So this time,
I waited for her to come to me
For her to ask about me
For her to talk to me

I wanted you to wonder about me
I wanted to be adored by you
I wanted to matter to you
I wanted you to want me
I wanted you

The sad thing about love
is that you are not always loved
by the person you love
And that is my case with you, beautiful

I fell in love with a person who I can't let a day go by without her,
while she can go weeks without me crossing her beautiful mind

You are a disease that I do not want to be recovered from

Always the one who loves, rarely the one loved.

#love #fear #sad #life #pain #afraid #time #beautiful #space #remember

Shaima Al-Marzouqi Dec 2014

Let go of me

You keep doing this to me
It is not fair

You keep pulling me back towards you
just when I've finally found the strength to walk away
Just when I've found a way to be
without you

And just like a fool
I crawl back to you
Every single time

You keep doing this
because you know that I'll always
run back to you
like a lost little kid who has found his way back home
The home in which he never felt like he belonged
But what else can I do?!
You are the only home that I know

We both know you don't want this
Why are you doing this to me?

It feels like you only want me
when it seems like no one wants you
You only remember me, when no one remembers you

You just like knowing that you will never be alone
Don't you?
But what about me?

This is the question that I need to keep asking myself
To protect myself
because who else would other than me

What about me?
What about me?

I can't keep playing the same game over and over again.. I shouldn't! I need to look out for myself first

#love #sad #home #depressed #alone #lost #game #belong #protect #fair

Shaima Al-Marzouqi Dec 2014

The right person never comes for me

I asked her what did she like about me
She listed the things I do for her
Said nothing about me and who I am

I then knew I was in trouble
I knew what needed to be done
I think deep down, I've always known

We always do know
but we fool ourselves
Keep hoping that eventually
they will fall for us
Because we do deserve that

The 1% chance that they will
is enough for us to keep fighting
But you should stop
when you're the only one fighting

I am tired of falling for the wrong person
Beginning to doubt there is such thing for me
Beginning to think love isn't for me

The right person never comes
I should stop looking
I have stopped

#love #sad #alone #hope #stop #forever #fighting #trouble

Shaima Al-Marzouqi Nov 2014

My Muse

I'm a new writer
And I already need time away from writing
Because all I want to write about
is you

When I think about writing
When I think about poetry
You are the first and the only thing
that comes into my mind

You are poetry incarnate
You are my muse
and I need you to be not

I need time away from poetry
because I see you in every one
I said I'll stop for a while
but here I am again
including you in my writing
Writing about me not wanting to write about you

It hurts
Every time I write, it hurts
As it keeps reminding me
that I didn't get you
That in this world,
there's not a happy ending story
of you and me

#love #poetry #sad #depression #happy #time #story #stop #muse #writing

Shaima Al-Marzouqi Nov 2014

What is this called?!

As I lay my eyes on you
I start to stutter
Words don't come out right
My brain can't form sentences

The effect you have on me, oh boy...
I'm *******

#love #words #eyes #boy #brain #amor #effect #******* #stutter

Shaima Al-Marzouqi Oct 2014

I looked and I saw

I saw that smile
The smile that I could never be the
reason behind
The smile that I always try my best to
bring on your beautiful face
but fail each time

I saw that look and joy on your face
when you saw his name on your phone
And I wondered,,,
“Do you ever react that way
when you see my name?”
I wondered as I already know the answer
But keep wondering, hoping
Hoping that the answer has changed this time
Hoping that this is that time

I looked and I saw
And in that moment I knew
I knew that she was never mine
I knew that she was never going to be
For her heart is not with her to give
It is still with him

One side love *****!!! No matter what you do, you can never be, you can never mean to them as much as they mean to you. I'm just another face to you, I pray that that changes. Soon I hope, because I don't know how longer I can hold it together.

#love #beautiful #smile #joy #one #face #name #jealous #mean #fail

Shaima Al-Marzouqi Sep 2014

I will listen

"I'm here if you need me. I'm here if you need to talk, I'll listen."
I say every time I know she does
But she's always so reserved
Afraid to speak her feelings

"Thank you I'm fine, really"
Is the lie she tells every time
Followed by a fake smile
Thinking I can't tell the difference

Feelings are weakness
Is what she thinks

Her lips are smiling
but her eyes are crying

Her eyes have so much to say
But she bites her tongue
preventing it to speak

She holds on to her feelings so tight
Not knowing who to trust with it

I show her that she can trust me
I tell her that she can trust me but
She can't see
She can't hear

Look! I am here for you
You are not alone
I swear I am here

I want to be your safe haven
I want you to come to me
when you're happy,
when you're sad

Come. Talk. Laugh. Cry.
I'll listen

Wrote this one for my friend who's going through some tough times.

#love #sad #depression #cry #friend #listen #smile #talk #laugh #adore