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Feb 2017 · 728
Rest In Pieces
Nameless Feb 2017
I'm sick and i'm tired.
I'm sick of being sick and tired.
I want nothing more than to live a normal life.
A life where my heart doesn't hurt,
and my brain doesn't overthink.
I have died years ago.
but my body refuses to rest with the dead
So I walk amongst the living,
plastering on fake smiles,
*pretending  everything's okay.
Everything is not okay.
Feb 2017 · 630
My Light
Nameless Feb 2017
I cling to your words like honey.
Your voice trickles down my spine when you sigh .
As i'm enveloped in your arms I feel as if i'm melting
Almost like you have taken down all the barriers around my heart.
When darkness comes and the past tries to take over ,
I look up and see a light at the end of the tunnel.
You are that light.
My light.
Feb 2017 · 1.0k
I Am Strong
Nameless Feb 2017
Love me for who I am.
Broken and all,
 each damaged piece fits right back in to place when I fall.
Though fragile as I am,
I've been through a lot.
I'm tougher than you think,
please don't give it a second thought.
Though I may have been tumbled around all my life,
these bruises and scars tell a story of my strife.
  I'm alive and i'm breathing,
which is no easy feat.
My heart has grown strong.
Don't underestimate the weak.
Feb 2017 · 639
Is This A Dream?
Nameless Feb 2017
I am forever drowning in a place where I cannot move
I cannot breathe
Yet time still goes on all around me.
I have learned to call this place home,for no matter how hard I try I cannot escape.
Time has no place here
Everything lies still.
I do not move on from the trauma I have been through
each **** is shown to me
over and over again
They call it PTSD
post traumatic stress disorder
You'd think that after all these times I could avoid this inevitability
* I was *****  last night

Thinking I was in the company of friends, I got drunk
I could feel everything happening to me
but I couldn't say no
It was as if I was only a husk of myself
I  wasn't there*
When I finally came too,
I squeezed my legs together.
You wouldn't stop touching me
I moved to the corner of the bed
Holding onto myself tightly, hoping this was just a dream
You wouldn't stop touching me
PLEASE STOP TOUCHING ME
It's over now
I'm back to the place where everything lies still.
Feb 2017 · 1.3k
Cracking Bones
Nameless Feb 2017
With every step I take
I hear the crack of my bones;
They're fragile now.
How many times has it been?
Picking up the pieces of myself,
each jagged  bone more complicated than the last.
I wonder how long this charade can go on
When will i finally turn to ash?
Jul 2015 · 3.8k
A Circus Act.
Nameless Jul 2015
Like walking on a tightrope
Thinner than grass
There's no nets below
Better save my ***
Keep your head up high and don't look down

I look

All i see are frowns
There frowning at me
Why are they frowning at me?
What did i do?
I've  been through so much, I think i'm almost there
But the tightrope it stretches
I'll keep walking, but its not fair

The people below want me to end my life
They say "I'm not worth it" "Why go through this strife?"
Death is not the answer
Not for me anyways

So I'll keep walking this tightrope
No matter how far
I'll make it, you'll see
*Just watch me.
Jul 2015 · 512
What It Feels Like.
Nameless Jul 2015
Depression bites at your ankles, feels like glass shards embedded in your feet with every step you take,painful at first and then numb.
Whispering sweet nothings in your ear
"you're garbage"
"you're ugly"
"*****,
****,
useless,
why are you even alive?"
With every step you take your bones go brittle and break.
There's a parasite in your brain, there's an elephant on your chest, and everything gets heavy.
Your eyelids start to close, falling into a deep slumber to get away from reality.
But instead you have nightmares,
of that day ,
of that night,
of that month ,
of that year,
and they repeat themselves over and over again making sure you never forget; and you won't.
Finally you wake up and it's been two days since you last got out of bed.
You heave a heavy sigh as the pattern starts all over again.
Sep 2013 · 490
The Higher Up.
Nameless Sep 2013
The only way i would've gotten anything good out of life, is if i were the top dog and not the ******* it walks on.
May 2013 · 633
Alone.
Nameless May 2013
I wish i could be talented or pretty.

To  be noticed, not rejected.

All I've ever been is that loser who sits by herself.

The girl who never fit in.

Sure,maybe in my pictures I'm smiling,

But did you ever stop to think that this smile might not be real?

Did you ever think it was possible to look like everything's going for you,

But on the inside, nothings right?

All i really am is this empty shell who walks around looking lively, but feeling lifeless.

I know there's more of you out there.

Maybe we understand each other to a certain extent,

But we're all fighting are own battles.

We are all alone.
Mar 2013 · 921
Don't You Cry
Nameless Mar 2013
Happy..
Energetic..
Care free..
These are the memories from my childhood
The innocence I once had is forever gone
Sorrow and woe has taken its place
Consuming me from the inside out*
I am trapped within myself
With no hope of ever feeling alive
I sit in this hollowed out shell of mine
Physically looking as if nothing is wrong
While emotionally unstable
Locked in my room i stay
Out of fear from the people who don't undestand
I see them staring
I hear them whisper and laugh
Will the teasing ever stop?
Silent I stay
Pretending not to hear
Faking my smiles as if everythig is fine.
Holding in the tears that want to pour out
Stupid girl
Don't give them that satisfaction
       Don't you cry

          *Not yet...
Mar 2013 · 891
Sweet Notes
Nameless Mar 2013
Why am i diagnosed with such a horrible disease?
waking up everyday
feeling as if drowning in a world where everyone else can breathe
slipping in and out of reality and dreams
watching people laugh and enjoy their day
while you sit and stay
thinking..
thinking of the what ifs and why nots
realizing that in the end its useless
so heres your choice
which one will you choose
to live or to die?
to win or to lose?
i grab the knife and slit my wrists
the end is near
its almost here
now close your eyes
theres nothing to fear.

— The End —