Can’t move.
Can’t think.

Terrified.

Stand as everyone stares.

Head being squeezed.
Being squeezed more and more.

Eyes water.
Tears make rivers.

No control.
Lost control.

Happened again.

Stuck.

Calm down.

Shake away everyone that crowded around.

“It was nothing.”
“Don’t worry.”

They go away.

Continue the day.

Don’t let anyone know what happened.
That it happened again.

We are so few and far between.
And for a few years every woman has been
Boring and bored, tired with no drive.
I am doing well. But within a circle of empowered women, we thrive.
Me, no exception. And I'd hate to lose my fragile perception
that you and I can change the world.
Others called it loneliness, we called it hard work -
Without your affirmation and kindred conversation
I'm finding it hard to call it anything other than a 'personal quirk'.
Lately, even, I find myself hiding. An action we used to find worthy of deriding -
A mark of lesser minds.
I still desire to change the world, and I miss that spark, that look in your eye
That told me to defy sexist expectations.
Now I'm in a sea of people and I struggle to find a grip, an ally.
But my heart still thuds like it did then.
The knowledge that women like you are out there
and that we will always be friends,
Gives me confidence
that together we can.

Why do you feel the need to apologize for taking up space in the world?

Stop saying you are sorry

For existing

For living

For being human

No comfort shall I ever find
in this, my empty home,
where lowly vessels are but cracked
and water never flows.
—–
No hope here shall I ever place
in such a state as this,
where desires are but empty dreams
and love, a trader’s kiss.
—–
No joy shall I ever seek
in such a shallow stream,
which cannot hold the swellings of
my heart and deepest dreams.
—–
No life is there in such a place
that like the lilies fade.
There beauty is but for the day,
but dry in evening’s shade.
—–
No longings shall I here esteem
O turn, return my heart,
for all I find under the sun
will soon, must soon depart.

your eyes
            are
          so explosively
   captivating
                    i feel like i
   float in space
                 every time
      your blue
                    and
                          my green
               collide,
    creating a new earth.

At 5, her smile was bright,
Which soon burned out like a fading light.
Made some friends, lost some more,
Tried being happy with a heart so sore.

At 13, she caked her face,
To fit in a world which was a maze,
Was called a ***** for trying hard,
Pierced her heart like a game of dart.

At 17, she found a love,
Thought she found a pure white dove.
Love was lust and shattered her,
He left her like a toy mere.

At 21, everyday she cried,
She ain't living, she just survived.
Wore a white gown, took a piece of blade,
Soon the white gown whole turned to red.