And I realized...
Being busy wasn't what I looked for,
Busy
Busy
Too busy
To think.

Busy
Busy
So busy
So tired
Asleep.
I looked for busy people

Because then
They'd understand
The depths
And the dark
That only constant running
Can feed.

And how exhausting it is,
To have to escape.
Every day.

I hate love
It never leaves you alone
Clawing, whispering at you
And it, in its full glowing form never stays long
But its ghost never leaves.

A song creeps onto my speakers
And I’m there
Brushing your hair off your face
Grossly in love
Holding you so close.

And I can’t exorcise it
I’ve purged you
Deleted your existence from my life
But I can’t delete that love
And its lingering too long.

And I’m exhausted, haunted
By something long dead
That I’ve buried
I’ve found out
Love’s flame is eternal, isn’t it.

Like ribbons of smoke dancing in the air
You were beautiful
You were the Northern lights
Important enough to be watched in the freezing cold
You were fleeting and sweet
Cream swirling in coffee
Ripples in a pond
I loved you
But like all ephemeral things
Eventually you left too.

Kissing you was like breathing air
Simple and natural
Easy and sweet

But I didn't want air
I craved a forest fire
I needed a tornado to rip through me

I wanted bruises and cuts
But I craved you
For you to be the eye of the storm

To be there as air
So when the winds died
I could still breathe

Because though I wanted heat
Fire dies without air
Just like me, without you.

I loved you so
My darling beau
And I thought you loved me too

Until you stopped
And then I was dropped
On the floor with memories and tears

I adored you so much
But my grip you un-clutched
And entwined your hand with someone new

Now time has passed
Though my heart still is gashed
I finally feel hope again

Because though you hurt me
I finally feel free
Because I survived loving you.

Hey, Hi, How are you? Fine.
Words never spoken, only typed
Everything is fine
Everything is fine.
Meaning is derived from bits
Pieces
Parts
Punctuation
Turn into everything
No really it’s okay
It’s okay.

Heartbreak lingers for so long
Was I not enough?
Why’d you leave?