the right side of my mattress has caved in on itself
a not so tiny crater in the shape of me
a rough outline of my contours
and i wonder
for a fleeting moment
if your bed has the same problem
only on the left

i looked up
i promise that i did

i could be wrong about god
i could be wrong about heaven and earth
and the way that things came to be
but if i am
what a beautiful thing to be wrong about

kissing the cold lips of a marble statue
didn't feel too good until i remembered that
yours were always cold from the rain

the melancholy of the moment hit me hard
like a rain check ten minutes before meeting
i've been on that road probably a thousand
times since last may
but something about the sunshine and the
slightly balmy breeze of late april
made me crave you in a way i hadn't before
i craved the way you always smelled like
essential oils and organic moisturizer
the seashells on your window frame
the creak in the floorboards in your entryway
the wind in my hair as i rode my bike to your
house, barely even able to wait long enough
for the white walk signal
i miss that
and it vanished right before my eyes
it's like every i touch falls apart
and i can't do anything to stop it
the funny things was
it started raining

you don't realize how strong gravity is until you're getting up off the floor

my thoughts are as ***** as my bedroom floor
and for a second i think about daring to touch
that bottle of apple flavored whiskey hidden in plain sights

but the serenity is prayer is etched into my mind
and i can't shake the image of your car rolled over
three times with you hanging out the side door

i've had to find different ways to cope with my pain
and writing poetry is one of them
when i write i see colors and hear symphonies
when i write words tumble out through my hands

and my hands have their own plan in place
so i am but a vessel for all of the things i cannot say
and my words, i hope that they echo and clang
much like church bells

if hopes and dreams come true were a common thing
then we'd all be fools in love with ourselves and each other
i wish on eyelashes and dandelions and birthday candles

though i wish on the stars most of all because i think
that they're the closest i'll ever come to my hopes and dreams
the stars are devastating in their beauty
and triumphant in their grace
that's what i want my hopes and dreams to be
and when i look at the stars i can see them clearly

c a n
      y o u
             ?