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People walk past and come around
So you think I’d never be lonely
But I’m stuck behind this glass

It’s easy to seem like its okay inside
You’d think it was obvious
From the other side

Now I’m painting these invisible walls
With the pain inside
Hoping things will change
If they can’t see inside

But I’m paralyzed, not by fear
Or anger
Or my rattled mind

Indifference has crept in
But people still don’t see
It haunting me
Through these glass halls

And I’m trying my best
But the paint
Just isn’t sticking

Now these glass walls
They’re just spattered messes
And invisible dead ends

And they see transparency
But I’m trapped
Behind these glass walls
Transparency is tricky.  But it is easy to feel trapped.
 Sep 2015 Jaclyn Jackomis
 Sep 2015 Jaclyn Jackomis
no matter how ugly
are sign that you are alive

Leigh Herondale  *August 2015
So suddenly the storm breaks…

With such disdain, the voices rage
as crimson tears fall,
so pure against the stark scream
of a broken mind,
finding belonging
in a tide of shattered dreams,
choking on the ashes of promise,
an end that feels so near
but never comes…

Emphatic whispers in the silence
as hate bubbles below the surface,
obsessing trivialities
that call for revenge
on those that trespass against us,
hollow apologies that
appease the guilty hearts,
too little, too late,
crying in the solitude,
for empty words are never enough…

Chaos bleeds from the scars of emotion,
unseen to the eye,
oblivious to the dying soul,
cutting so deep inside,
evolved by compulsions
that become absolute,
a mistake to be made over and over
and so fingertips gently caress
the revolver’s cold metal surface,
drawing it toward me…

Life is a privilege to those
with the courage to stay and live it,
but that is not me…
I am so alone,
each day I disguise my thoughts
behind a pompous smile
as my mind crumbles a little more,
blurring the boundary of reality,
breaking my will to fight
before an inquisition of pain…

The way out is obvious, even to me…
It is the beginning of the end,
such grave thoughts
in the midnight of my soul,
my body covered
in an abundance of fading scars
like a map that draws a path
that swiftly leads me here…
to this moment… this place… this hour…

pushing the barrel up under my chin,
I close my eyes
To see a video of me performing this piece, go to;=relmfu
Its 6 am and everything just..
I don't know it hurts
Maybe more like I'm sore
I think of you and my chest starts aching I can hear my heartbeat and sometimes it doesn't match up and I wonder if it's because you're no longer here
I remember at one point in time I was so sure my heart only beat because you were a part of my life
Isn't it so strange how someone so close can become a stranger in a days time?
What is time anyways?
They say all wounds heal with time but if time doesn't exist how am I ever gonna get better?
**** I'm so sore..
Like I was saying..
There's like this hole in my chest, ya know, like the ones people write about
Well I get it now
I always wonder if you feel one too
If our love was enough to provoke a black hole in your heart when I left because a part of you went with me too..
And if it did, where can I find it? Because I miss you.
 Sep 2015 Jaclyn Jackomis
i have a problem.

sometimes, i am happy
uncontrollably so.
everything makes me smile.
and the sun shines in my heart.

but then there are days
when even under the sun
i bring in the rain.
it pours from my eyes
down my cheeks
to my mouth.

and i try to swallow
but i can't.
and everything crumbles
around me.

i lose myself.
and there is no one but me
who can
t h o s e
p i e c e s
u p .

i have a problem.

i am my problem.
i hate my problem, i hate myself.
The days go on, the nights get longer.
She can’t keep fighting, they’re getting stronger.
The thoughts are sinister, they keep her awake.
They’re taking her life, for goodness sake.
Do you see what’s happening? She’s fading away.
The thoughts are powerful and leading her astray.
The days go on, the nights get darker.
The demons are growing and becoming smarter.
This girl is dying, she’s mentally weak.
Her moods are low and never to peak.
She can’t live like this, so let her die.
It’s her time to go and say goodbye.
You are a broken record
Turning your head in circles to get a look
Of that hot peice of

She's more than a stupid
She's the action you take
Over and over

You are a broken record
I'm worth more than your lie
Worth more than a good lay
I know the words to this song
Keep singing
But I'm long gone.
Wrote this on my phone , which happens to have atrocious auto correct. Feel free to tell me if you spot any mistakes .
I texted you
You didn't reply

I can't sleep
Cause I miss you
You're non stop on my mind

I want your lips
On mine right now

I want you
To lie next to me
And hold my hand

To say everything
Is gonna be alright
Even though it's not

I just want you

I'm sad
Sad because I miss you

The stars would remind me of you
But there are no stars
Cause there's no you

Why would they shine
If you're not here beside me?
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