From the turning point on~  John Patrick Robbins

It's like a season and so must they all pass.

We tie ourselves down with burdens best left with another then somehow placed upon you.

None of it is easy or becomes less in time, our shoulders slouch, the smiles fade

and we hide our pain inside the next drink or popping of some pills.

There's a reality here though, nothing can make numb feel better or take away the ache that takes up residence through our pain.

Life has a stench to it that makes me wonder if we are all walking the dead road of hell.

But in spite of the situation I would probably light cigarette and laugh just the same.

A switch blade nature and less concern for you than others serves us well at times it seems.

I wonder can you view anything flawed as long as I, and not take some of that burden upon yourself.

Age doesn't teach **** it merely exposes the flaws.

Mine are many now what about yours?

Ironic isn’t it, how far stretched some of our answers will be.

Extracting truth can feel like an aborted spinal tap

then the grin…as I strike the match against the calloused heart and inhale deep…just to feel the burn and lie like I always do.

In nights like this
I wish to be near you.
I'll tuck you in and
read you stories
I'll tell you about the hills in Scotland that
devoured people on rainy days
and the grey rabbit that
deceived it and snapped its heart.

I'll tell you about the battlefield in
places we cannot touch
the origin of rumbling thunders and
forked lightning.
I'll tell you about the sacrifices to the old gods
as their decaying bodies sway in the wind
and crows and ravens circle the canopy of the old oak trees.

In times like this
I wish to be near you.
I'll make coffee and
get us a couple of apple pie with cinnamon
Then I'll tuck you in and say I love you in unusual,
remarkable ways.

By telling you peculiar stories until you fall asleep, perhaps.

And if you want to –
if it comforts you –
I'll do this night after night.

I'll bring you marvels from arcane knowledge and
forgotten myths and
I guarantee that the unwavering cruelties of this inane, mad civilization
will only make us stronger.

My social life is
basically filled with
cats.

A grey cat on my right leg
while I hold the book
and struggle to devour
the passages you've highlighted
and asked me to read
over and over and over.
I'm sorry I never did.

A black cat pawing my naturally
unkempt hair you used to smell
as you hold me near and hold me close
and echo in your low, husky voice
the promises of Keats and the
haunting beauty of Neil Gaiman.
Thank you for the cloves and rosemary and a crown of purple thistle.

A white cat on my side was scratching
that precise region on my skin you've burnt
when you've freed the dragonflies in the night
and assured me they would, in time, come back.
A hundred times I lit a candle near the window
and waited, love, but heard no song of wings and flutters.
Still, I curled under the blanket and nursed my wounded hope.

A calico cat handed me
an inquiry I've been dying to hear.
Does it ache? The cat prodded near and purred.
Everywhere, cat, I retorted. Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.
Come close, please, and ask me those questions
under the flowering jasmine
and the waning moon.

I will answer you truthfully.

You are far more complicated
and immense
and incalculable
and larger than that.

You are a montage of stardust
of good days and bad days
of exploding galaxies
and rebirth of universes.

You, demigod.
You own your wonders
and curiosity
your flaws
and hesitations
your fears
and secret hopes
your narratives
and truthfulness.

Let no one
take those
away from you.

Forgive me, dearest.

I accidentally
injured my hand a while
this evening.

The metal of the vehicle
pecked on my index finger
took out a skin
and marked me

as its own.

It culled a deep void
you would hate, I know
you would curse, I know
because it is ugly
and you would hate it.

Still,
you would hold my hand anyway
and sing me some lullaby
till I fall asleep

And forget where it hurts.

marie-niege is jaso bolay
i am an empty pill bottle
of nothing more than
just emotions, a stack of
empty liquor bottles. i
am nothing. just nothing.
isn't that classy? but um
you see, marie-niege is
cleaner than me. more
sterile. less edgy. but
sicker in the head.
we're never just
one person.
welcome. to the
madness in my head.

Dear Dad,
When I was younger and I wrote you that letter explaining to you how much I hated myself sometimes.

When I wrote you that letter explaining to you how much I hated my skin

How much I hated my thoughts

How I lost all of my friends in the span of a month because I stopped trying to care

How much I just wanted to disappear

How much you'd be better off without me

How much it hurt all the time

When I showed you all of my poems

And you called my black tears on those ******* white papers 'talent' and ignored my cries

When you insisted that I was okay when I tried to explain to you that I wasn't

Did you really believe that I would be okay or did you just need me to be?

I'm not mad anymore. I just want you hug me and tell me you love me and just stop ******* hating me

I <3 makeup. I like playing around w. pinks and reds and browns. Matte lipstick and lip stains etc etc. Which is funny cause I didn't start wearing makeup until I was 20, just about a year ago. I hated the idea of it. But now I realize that I hated the idea of it because of the mental state I was in. Wearing makeup shouldn't lessen your confidence in your natural appearance. For some reason, I was afraid that I'd become more comfortable seeing myself in makeup versa ****. But that's not the case at all. One of my favorite things to do at the end of my day is to remove my makeup off my face. Warm salt water and then a mixture of honey, egg whites, organic milk thickened in the fridge & then lathered on my face for an hour and then cleansed with cold salt water. It's heaven.
Idk. I've just been laughing at how my mind worked when I was younger. I was so terrified of learning more about myself. Almost like I didn't want to get to know who I was. Almost like I didn't care. I didn't want to form my own opinions and so I clutched onto others opinions. I didn't want to accept my definition of beauty and so I devoured others guidelines. And I didn't want responsibility and so I refused all forms of commitments. What a horrible way to live. For those of you who've been wondering where I've been lately. I've been reflecting, accepting and understanding myself because I've come to understand that's the only way I'll keep existing in this world.  
Idk. I've just been laughing at how my mind worked when I was younger. I was so terrified of learning more about myself. Almost like I didn't want to get to know who I was. Almost like I didn't care. I didn't want to form my own opinions and so I clutched onto others opinions. I didn't want to accept my definition of beauty and so I devoured others guidelines. And I didn't want responsibility and so I refused all forms of commitments. What a horrible way to live. For those of you who've been wondering where I've been lately. I've been reflecting, accepting and understanding myself because I've come to understand that's the only way I'll keep existing in this world.