you tell me to call
my head instead,
hits a wall
the fear of losing you,
it's killing me too
the fact that this could mean goodbye
if this life is your love,
then without your love, i will surely die

are you okay...
i'm walking down the long hall, after a long day
a girl quite a few inches taller than me,
hears my voice and turns to see
she looks to be about my age,
but something in her eyes doesn't want to engage
she looks empty and hurt,
like a voice battling to let it all out in a blurt
the tears down her face,
i can't help but wonder where their origins trace
so i go to the step and sit down,
so maybe, despite there being no water, she won't drown

her cracked lips and silent guilt
everything she now has, had to be built
to be strong, to be brave
he was the only person that she couldn't save
but the struggle wasn't her own to carry
because not all things in life are meant to be merry
she'll relearn to survive
to get out of this forsaken city, alive

today i woke up to see you next to me
softly, your life breathed out
...
and then back in

your hair was a mess,
sticking out in random places
looking at you like that made me want to leave marks on you
the kind that only you and i could remember and see

the sun hits your face,
as my fingers reach your face,
my lips brush the top of your head
and i'm at peace

i want to write about seeing your eyes in the stars
but all i can see is this ****** city's highway full of cars
i'm miles away from california
but i can still feel the euphoria
the euphoria of speeding along a trail
while the skies poured open with hail
we were young, wild, and free
you were the man who taught me what it was to see
without you i would not be the half of me today
there's so much more that i had planned to say
time was short with you though,
there was still these same thoughts that i wanted you to know

i don't want to romanticize it,
but i swore that when we were together, something fit
was it that on our first date,
we had such a great time that i actually stayed up late
or was it that after one month you promised me
that every indefinite sunday morning you loved me, you would brew tea
perhaps it was when i revealed everything about my past
you told me that despite my broken pieces, our love would always last
you never made me feel less when we were together
even when you bought that one jacket, when you know how i feel about non-vegan leather
throughout our small-matter fights,
we still came together to make love on those special nights
but, i don't want to romanticize it,
because i swore when we were together something just fit

you shaped me, so thank you. i'm glad that i got the pleasure to love you.

this life is not always about our dreams that are expected

instead the reality of our life becomes merely accepted

it's not wonderful nor is it bad

something about realization is sad

we just accept the mediocrities

when we wish to attain our wildest abilities