I wish I never met you and I wish we never did it.
When you said hey I should of said bye.
When you said lets hang I should of said no.
When you leaned in to kiss me I should of stopped you.
When you said baby ill never leave you I shouldn't of believed you. When you said I want to be the first I should of asked why. 
 When we were laying in your bed we should of watched the movie. When you said you aren't worth it.
I should of asked you why you pushed it.
When you said I freaked you out when I panicked.
I should of asked you why you did it.
Just because I said I wanted it and covered the fact I was terrified.
Didn't mean you had to treat me like I knew what I was doing.

I said I never liked commitment , I've said it half my life .

When you first met me I made it clear I was bitter and would only use you for the night..

You took me on broken and bruised and picked me up piece by piece .

I told you you would cut yourself I will most defiantly leave.

You looked at me and said it was okay because you needed new scars.

You picked me up bit by bit , cut yourself on the shattered parts.

Told me you loved me every day and every night.

You never really knew if I heard you so you made sure to say it twice.

Commitment was never for me you would always here me say.

But you never quite understood how I could my ink my skin but not let you stay.

Why did you choose me
to fake love?
Is it because you can smell my vulnerability?
My hope and innocence?
Or is it my body and ignorance?

In three years, the words have never left your mouth
never grazed your lips
but by the way you touch my hair,
look me in the eye
and with your manly hands
gently hold my hips
I know your actions are speaking louder than the words
you will never say
Oh I know, it is hard to admit to yourself that you feel this way

The sorrow I feel waking up next to you
knowing you're not mine
that you go out
looking for others to woo
Words cannot describe the pain it puts me through.
And yet, I love you.
What's even worse, is that you know I do.

You know


*I'm that person
everyone replaces after a while.

Maybe I'm too fat
Maybe I eat like a man
Maybe I've got no poise
Maybe I'm too loquacious
Maybe I...

Honestly, I know.

I know my tongue slashes throats and
My eyes asphyxiates.

I know my personality is too strong for a little person
That I amaze and scare at the same time.

I know I'm a strong lady- *too strong for you to handle.

That's why I have been able to stand up from where you pushed me.
That's why I am able to think of myself.
That's why I am not blaming love but the person in love.

Honestly, I know
That you can't take the blades of my tongue

Honestly, I know
That you can't say I'm beautiful

Honestly, I know
That you do not love me like how I love you

Honestly, I know
That you are selfish

Honestly, I know
That I am now seeing truth

After all these weeks of crying my eyes out,

I'm back.

because honestly i know

I was purchased, used, and thrown out.
I got to see a few good times. Usually blurry or something got in the way, but it was still sort of ok.

The cycle starts over.

I'm purchased, used, and thrown out.
Once again I see wonderful things,
but usually posed and fake.
It was still sort of ok.

Until the cycle starts over.