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  Aug 2017 Lexi Dvorak
maybe you weren't my first
and that's okay because i wasn't yours either
i'll do whatever it takes
no matter how long it takes
to be your last forever
Lexi Dvorak Feb 2017
I watched as the rain pooled in the wells of your cheeks,
The shadows fought for dominance between the cracks in your teeth.

I watched as the light left your eyes,
Your wandering soul pulling its way out of them.

I watched as your breath fought to make your chest rise again,
Hammering its way up and down, like a jackhammer on a mission.

I’m sorry that I saw stars in your eyes,
And I fell for you, yet I wasn’t there when the light left.

I’m sorry I saw flowers within your heart,
And I picked a few, but I wasn’t there to pick you up when you fell.

I’m sorry I heard birds sing each time you took a breath,
And I held a few of those birds, but I never let go and you suffocated.

I’m sorry that I fell in love with your smile,
But I got nervous and left to quickly.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry for loving you,
Because regardless of the nights we spent smiling,
I left and you fell apart.

And lastly I’m sorry,
I’m sorry I never told you I was falling apart too
Lexi Dvorak Sep 2016
You'll try to pull your heart back together like a piece of art that you got rid of,
And he will kiss you,
Kiss you like he isn't the one holding a gun to your neck whispering the sweet words,
Do it.

And you'll be so happy because you're no longer fighting for him,
But within the weeks your heart will once again feel like he took an iron and placed it there
Telling you,
Here. Hold this for me.

You'll see him around, probably with another girl,
And you'll ache because she's "prettier" then you.

And your friends will do anything to distract you,
Some of them might even say you're better off,
But you'll feel like you're about to throw up at the thought of that.

Because you're holding so tightly to your heart because you feel it might fall out of your chest if you let go.

You’ll hold the duvet over your head,
Afraid of what you might see if you let it go.
Afraid he might be gone again.

And he'll come back, telling you the wonderful words,
I still love you.
And you'll break at the thought of him leaving again.

But you'll give him your heart wholeheartedly because you love him.

But he doesn't,
Soon you'll realize the game being played,
But you won't care.

It'll come to you late at night sometimes,
The nights when he's "loving" someone else.

And it will hurt like hell,
And you’ll claim that you’re done

And one day you will be
But as of now you haven’t been.

But I’ve always been one to surprise people.
  Mar 2016 Lexi Dvorak
Sk Abdul Aziz
One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what the other person has to say.
I don’t like saying “I love you”
May it be at the
Height of passion or
A passing, daily fancy
I don’t like saying “I love you”.

I would rather
Tread close against
Your warmth,
Hard-pressed in the
Outdoor rain,
I would rather laugh
Uninhibitedly, loud
Loud enough that those who play
Among the clouds
Hear my joy,
I would rather steal
The sadness off your
Chapped lips ‘til
Every mem’ry is but a shadow
Of yesteryear’s

I don’t like saying “I love you”
May it be before the
Gates of heaven or
Against the blindfold of
I don’t like saying “I love you”.
We owe our love
More than that.
Lexi Dvorak Jan 2016
Welcome to a girl.

A girl who built a city,
Raised it up in her own hands
Held it out to me.

Showed me her work.

Then crumpled it in her palms,
Like puddy in her hands.

She told me to help her make it real.

I thought it was.

But I guess city's don’t crumble
The way my walls did when the tone of her voice changed.

She got louder and my walls fell apart like sand.

Little did I know,
Her broken city
Held an army.

A army that you can’t hide from.
You have to meet it head on.
Or, it kills you.

Or at least that's what I thought.

But her army emerged,
And pushed, and molded the city
Until it was perfect again.

She held a city in her palms.
Showed me it again.

This time,
I held her fingers back.

Her city had cracks running deep.
Canyons that weren’t in it before had now shown up.

Showing a beating heart under it.

It was her heart.

She crumpled her city,
So her heart would be hidden.

But once the army showed up,
It showed her heart once more.

The army helps her regain her humanity.
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