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mjad Apr 2020
I sail along the rough ocean surface
Taking in the shattered gray and the foamy waves

I rock against the beach and feel myself back on the land
I watch as the wind takes the beach out of my hand

I lift my chin up to the air
And feel the sea breeze blow through my hair

I feel the sunshines warm embrace
and I know that I am safe
mjad Apr 2020
The name pops up on my screen
It's been months, but I never leave you on seen
It's a habit I just can't kick
And you're a person I hate to miss
I close my eyes and feel it all
The years of tears
From laughter and love
To heartbreak and hurt
All from you
And you always pop back up
Texting to talking to drives
To parking spots and rendezvous
It's always you
Then yelling and screams
More tearing at the seams
You'll never hear my name
And be able to close your eyes
And not see me
Or hear me
My words in your ear
Hands on your face
In love or pity
In passionate routine
A forever
That you thought was me
Is only a cycle of names on a screen
And I'm not the one that goes back
I'm the one that's gone back too
It's not me
It's you
mjad Apr 2020
I watched you pour out the gasoline
I held the matches in my hand
We danced and laughed
Like musical chairs
I won
Handed you a match
Watched you step back
Light it
And we laugh
we were toxic
mjad Mar 2020
he covers me in kisses
misting me in love
raindrops on every part
haiku?
mjad Mar 2020
And just like that
I am back to being everything that he wanted
Except for the fact
I am not with him
He does not get to see
This better version of me
Mature and clean
Because he had his chance
And didn't see
All of my potential
To get out of my dark space
And be in a happy place
With him
So I found
Someone without any doubts
About me
Who cares and loves
More than he ever does
And just like that
I am back to being loved
By someone thats not just mean
mjad Mar 2020
I would never admit it
But I do think it
I know you will always be in my life
Because I worry
With all the pills you pop
That one day you won't talk to me
Not because I'm blocked
But because you won't be alive to talk
mjad Mar 2020
I tell him I love him
Only one month in
The thought of him not saying it back scares me
I don't want to hear nothing
The shallow air as he hesitates
Because he's lost feeling

I told him I love him
Only one month in
I'm scared I will regret it and never be able to recover
I don't want to be hurt
Or even worse, hurt him
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