There’s nothing so precious
as a man’s farm land
or falling leaves waiting
at this year’s deer lease;
there’s nothing better than
walking your own trail
except when your soft eyes
tell me to do as I please

There’s nothing so graceful
as love waiting by the moon
for a kiss to be delivered
by seasonal birds flying;
guided by what they know
without question or fear
except your soft hands
guided by your sighing

There’s nothing so hard
as rocks resisting oceans
or walls staring quietly
at stones thrown by children
who laugh at the lines
that will always remind
except the uncertainty
of ever seeing you again

The light on his shoulder witnessed his birth
   and the deathly funeral inside
A bloodless procession of pain and joy,
   where faith refused to hide
Faded beings, emotion and possibility,
   from days when truth once lied
Long silent until love finally passed
   and those who watched finally cried

The light on his shoulder scattered,
   pieces of lonely sky
Whether blue, grey or red,
  misting rain or dry
Flowers cover the stubborn stone,
   not knowing why
Adorning what he once chose to love,
   another forever goodbye

The light on his shoulder knew his burden,
   for human will is weak
Abstinence the only path to holiness,
   desire, the flesh to seek
Within hopeful eyes the choice blurred,
   powerful or meek
Once soft perfection but now scarred,
   her mark left on his cheek

The light on his shoulder was well pleased,
   as written in scripture
Though he never believed in the providence of  fate,
   or the words of a preacher
He left his chance at love at the altar of decision
   to return one day to seek her
But that day was not today as only the light knew,
   it was time to re-enter the water

to care only for the poor,
without compromise;
the idealism of the ages,
the easiest of all politics;
we must sacrifice no matter what;
but who said,
the poor will always be with us;
a man who was heartless
or was he wise?
is the reality of the present,
our cynicism of their plight
or is their struggle
the measure of our hearts in his sight;
is their pain assuaged
by our actions or even in our words?
still we struggle on our own;
our own horizons as far as we can manage,
while we think of a beautiful memory,
distracted by the past,
we hope the leaves have fallen at last
and wait for them to return
but they will only fall again;
like the tide that reaches for the land
or prayers for the things we must;
they will always be with us

Drawn by the hand of still water
Grace and mercy
Unblemished by man
Next to it we walk
Hand in hand
Soon to be baptised
As we take the next step
To discover what lies within
The murky jewel
The mystery of its motion
How we long for its power
And its life to be joined with our own

Every color is black
     When they can only paint in the dark
Every river runs dry
     When love no longer flows
Every feeling turns blue
     When sadness is as deep as the ocean
Every question starts with why
     When your heart no longer knows

Every eye is shut
     When the happiness of others is all you see
Every heart stops beating
     When there is no answer for your call
Every mind is closed
     When you cannot understand your loss
Every love is dead
     When their soul offers nothing at all

Rectangle light past tense point of view
Every turn taken; some mistaken
Rising apart from one another; take a look
Every love, every loss
Once caring, now forsaken

Latitude, longitude, diagonal
What difference where it is placed?
Every moment all at once; take a look
Every desire, every misery
Once driven, now waste

She was green
She was purple
She was red
She was only
She was because
She was instead

Measured carefully against the light
My life is somebody else’s art
Which friends to know; take a look
Every laugh, every sorrow
Once together, now apart

I wanted it to be a symphony
But it became a poem from my head
What did I ever say; take a look
Every flower, every desert
Once walking, now in bed

She was pink
She was yellow
She was blue
She was change
She was hard
She was you

Every road I’ve been down
I never knew when they started
Only when they ended; take a look
Every hope, every pain
Once real, now departed

Every love I’ve ever felt
It’s still there you have to believe
You’re inside of me; take a look
Every kiss, every tear
Once love, now we grieve

She was black
She was grey
She was white
She was sun
She was moon
She was light

I saw somebody just like you in the park
She was smiling at someone
It finally hit me, walking away
You might could love someone else too

Can I see how we painted the magic
the way you could forget your manners
when you were alone with a man

I have to accept change
Like nature accepts the way it lives and dies
I have to watch out now
It’s laying all about

Can I see how we used to walk
like goose bumps through a forest
of hair standing on our arms

It’s like sleeping in the broom closet
No window and the darkness, so dark
As if the sun was never born
And taking pictures the only flash in its place

Can I see how I won your love
inside the eyes that wouldn’t let me go
until you realized it was true

The more we’re told the less we care
I want to be good but it's still a long way there
There’s nothing a man in power won't do
But I give him more because he told me to blame you
He’ll say the things some of us want to hear
But first he had to check which one of us to fear
He could stay on the left or right
It doesn’t matter as long as he knows which side to fight

Ma never worried how our world lost its way
She just loved us and left the rest for someone else to say
We knew we should be sleeping
But we didn’t want to spoil all our dreams with our weeping
The shaking hands of a peaceful man
Was the witnessed horror of who had to **** when the war began
For every sacrifice that was forgotten
Unmerited glory squanders the living humility of God’s garden

We look to poets for the meaning
The legacy of the dead is all that we are feeling
We look to painters for the honor
The legacy of the dead is painted upon a silk banner
We look to singers for the despair
The legacy of the dead is heard in the wailing air
We leave it to others to describe it
While we search our hearts so we know how to live it

We pray not unto our enemies
Will we fall from the height of our spirit to worship pennies
We pray not unto the wicked
Will we follow but instead unto goodness will we be lifted
We pray not unto an early death
Will we succumb ourselves until we witness Lazurus’ breath
We pray not unto a living hell
Will we burn without the assurance of men striking God's bell

The more we know the less we believe
They say don’t worry about yesterday, tomorrows up our sleeve
They pull hope out like a magic show
We’re so amazed it doesn’t matter what we will never know
They can almost say no wrong
And even if they do, time will save them, it never takes too long
A lifetime of service and a statue
But life remains the same for those that the marble never knew

It was the shock of seeing her walls
They were still standing
And as he looked over her shoulder
She didn't have to tear them down anymore
Because he knew what she was hiding
It wasn't possible
There was supposed to be an entrance
And a small window to ask questions
Then a decision
But all that never happened
Then he said he would be right back
He had to draw on the walls of his cave
And she lived without him
Relieved that the walls remained
Then as she gazed upon them, he said something
And she turned as he wandered around
What are you doing she thought
And he said, "You alread know, I'm here for you"
But it was the cave that she wondered about
And he never would talk about it
It was not something that he could share
But all he could see were walls from the outside
Except for the one she had built
He was inside
Anytime he wanted
No matter what she said
But he kept his distance
There was so much to see while she followed
What are you doing?
He said, "I want to know who you are"
She screamed at him to leave
But he said, "I was born here. This is my home"
This was not what was supposed to happen
She was supposed to wait until her wall came down
But he was not interested in all that
It didn't matter
He was already inside her
And all she could do was gasp
Because she knew she was naked
And his eyes were looking at her body
And into her eyes
And into her past
And into her mind
And into her heart
And he was going to stay inside her
Because that was what she wanted
Even though the walls were built to say no
But she made the mistake of pushing them out too far
And into the spaces that she forgot to fill he came
To be the one
Because the one didn't need to convince her
He was just the one

i seek sanctuary
and asylum
within your life
and heart

i cannot go back
there is nothing
to welcome me
or remember

yes there are scars
not to speak of
only to feel
when i look away

i tried my best
not to fall over
but what to say
as a beggar?

it was your mercy
that i felt
as i moved close
you held your ground

the kiss happened
too quickly for you
forever waiting
for me

when we finished
you looked down
touching my back
wondering

whatever this is
i’ve crossed the river
i am a refugee
you are my country

My fantasies are not what I want anymore
You can't reach a soul when you think *** is love
I don’t need to tell you how I feel
You saw it in my eyes and it's you I'm thinking of

I moved past a life living under the same roof
How can I make you grow if it's all about me?
Because what you are all about is so good
You talk about us but there is so much more you can be

You can call me baby
I don’t always have to smile
Cry on my shoulder
Go ahead and cry
I know baby
I know

It seems I can only offer someone pain
You give so much and I just take
How can you see anything good in me
When I keep living for my own sake?

I want you to stop being afraid
I’m not anymore
I know you might meet somebody new
The rain might pour
That’s the chance I’m willing to take
Even if he shuts our door
But caring about you forever is what I will do
Even if you don’t call anymore

You can call me baby
I don’t always have to smile
Cry on my shoulder
Go ahead and cry
I know baby
I know

(slaves)

we are a conquered people
but we walk freely as servants
our masters are not at peace
for they know what they do
yet before us they stand
as we weep for our loss
or exult over our victory
and though they are of Caesar

we give that which is God

(supper)

we wash in the headwaters
the water that cleanses my soul
we harvest the vineyards
the wine that became my blood
we cast seeds into the fields
the bread that is my body
we listen to their promises
but a voice became the word

we cannot speak of the image
the ritual looks not upon idols

(kolam)

she made chalk from rice fields
all are invited except evil spirits
lines and circles for prosperity
tomorrow another will be drawn

(death)

is there injustice
speak to me
purify myself
non-violence

until the bullet says no more

(resurrection)

she drew two needles
two needles that cross
two needles that mend
the eyes cast no stone

(desire)

they wear only robes
all desire has passed
the moon guides them
upon waters with no home

(pilgrimage)

seven circles against time
kissing and touching stone
prayers where they stand
drink water from the well

(incorporeal)

how to describe the ocean
to a baby that cannot swim
when we cannot see the edge
nor all that lives within its womb?
all we can do is reap its harvest
by drawing fish in the sand
removing them from the nets
and from baskets made full

(love)

no heaven can accept my sin
no hell can accept my goodness
i can only tell you how I feel
though what I see is you
and what I know is me
you have become like the stars
as beautiful and distant
as grace is to a man like me

Sometimes
you need to be part of something
Not a follower
but something they would miss
Not a gift
but something you have earned
It's the feeling
of watching a baseball game
Or sitting
at the bottom of a swimming pool
Surrounded
by what makes you feel welcome
I felt it once
long ago inside an old chapel
And when
you cried because I was leaving
That's when
I knew that I was a part of love
That's when
you finally became a part of me

I was sitting there
languid, almost serene
your perfume in the air
but I  did not know your name

The moment was ours
or at least it was mine
how to make it yours
It always seems to be the same

The skin of the air was so clean
your scent, purring upon a pillow
your eyes,
slowly receding towards the night
they’re safer there
just the stars and you;
drawn to one another,
waiting for something to happen
but another sigh awaits

You left without a sound
except your chair, dragging
I hoped you’d turn around
But your heart made no claim

I’d seen it before
the entire moment
played over and over
I try to give them away
some gifts are left unopened

It was you that I dreamed about
But it was only how I wanted you to be
You had a different dream  
And even though it was me
You were something that dreams can't see

It was the day that waited
Once we became who we were
The dreams we couldn't share left us
And even if we try to pretend
We will never know how it feels to be sure

At least we don't cry as we sleep
A dreamer never welcomes his tears
How could anyone give everything
Without a fantasy to give them courage
I'd rather live it than alone with my fears

We're just a lonely crowd, happy to be together when someone sings our sorrows back to us...

he looks at your door
and the direction it faces is only what you're thinking
will he wonder or will he know?
he liked the way it was painted yesterday
but it's not the color that matters so much to you
instead it's the lock and the key that says yes or no
a knock is like buying new shoes
it may make you feel better for a moment
but what difference to you if it is not you who says so?
no matter the reflection on your countenance
the way into your mind is what he must guess
and if he only remembers yesterday then yesterday is where he will go

Heed me well
Don’t clear my name
I’m the feather that fell
I’m the one to blame

Don’t ask me why
Or about the weather
How would I know
I’m just a falling feather

It’s taken a long time for this moment
I’m about to know what it means to arrive
I’d rather it fly on with the rest of them
My past doesn’t need me to survive

How much do you need to know?
I’ve already found comfort in the pillow of the wind

My past doesn’t need me to live on
As I fall through the rain
And the sun
I can take it as it comes
Anything that happens
It’s already been considered
When you’re falling
You know somewhere you’re gonna’ land

I thought I was a bird
But I know I’m not that now
Flying or falling, what’s the difference?
Either way, only a feather knows how

I want the reflection from me
To be of the life lived by you
There is no reason to pretend
My scars are all that are true

If life has been good for me
It means I'm a lucky man
There’s no reason to pretend
My own life is in God’s hand

There’s no reason to pretend
Sometimes I try to fool myself
I don’t want to fool anybody else
Why would I do that to a friend

When I think about the way
You live your life each day
I want you to see it in me
I can only live life my way
I hope that when you pray
You pray for a life with me

There’s no reason to pretend
There’s no reason to lose a friend
There’s no reason to pretend
There’s no reason to pretend

It was a song I loved
The notes reached me
I understood what they were saying

It was a song I knew
I didn't have to ask questions
But one day it just stopped playing

Like a high flying bird
It vanished into the sky
Reminding me life is changing

I forgot its message
It was dead to me
I didn’t know it was waiting

A song needs its lover
The one who understands it best
The one who can hear it calling

Arousing me from indifference
The bird suddenly appeared
And my heart began its falling

As I reached out
It darted away
I wondered where it was going

But it only circled above
Singing forgotten notes
Asking if it was time for our joining

But how can I know if it is true
Is it time for something real
Or just memories I keep reliving?

A beautiful woman can make you forget
It’s as if the world never existed
She doesn’t want to talk about it tonight
What’s the point?

The prayers we never heard
The tears we never saw
We only know what someone decided we should know

Great minds **** one another
and those too small to notice

How many men were destroyed
because
they did not have the power

But those who struggle
and lose
are mightier than anyone else

So many stories never told
They were witnesses
But passed over

I wanted to think about what I didn’t know
About who died in the darkness of history
They deserved at least that much
I hate being so accepting of reality
Does it mean I’m crazy like everyone else
Or does dancing keep my soul alive?

They were killed twice
Once when they were alive
And once when someone tried to write a book
But they survived in the minds of those who looked like them

Powerful minds killed the real world
They bury their sins with a smile on their face

Powerful minds died with a dream world

They know

They know the truth

They know what God knows

What we know are the cherry’s we pick
What we want to forget fall, shriveled and spread upon the ground
The legacy they wanted was never spoken
It was too late except the last prayer a man ever thought to say

What do you want to talk about?
Europe’s ****** history
Or art and philosophy
Russia’s ****** history
Or Tchaikovsky?

Anything but the wars started by man

What happened to those murdered before their time?
They did not alter history
They were subsumed by it

Because the nature of man is to assume he lives on a higher moral plane
But the assumption of being given God’s will is only a man who is ready to ****

If I had a mind that was truly gifted
I would choose to know peace
But how can peace live within sadness
For I know that there is not a moment without tears
Somewhere in the world
Somewhere close to me
The shine that made light now makes darkness
Yet is it to be every moment
Of every day
And every night
That we can be happy?
I was not promised anything
I did not ask to be born
I made no bargain
And in the contrasts of life
Night and day
Man and woman
Winner and loser
Love and hate
We find that we must conquer both
Or else perish into a world of madness
For it is those who cannot cope with reality
Who seek answers where sanity has abandoned them
But I understand my friend
Is it sane to be numb to the things that happen to others
To the things that has not happened to us
Is it sane to pretend that death is normal
Is it sane to shrug our shoulders as I have done so many times?
Because if it is sane then I am sane
And I weep because of it
Yet it is in the hint of madness that I find myself
For what I have been taught has strangled me
As many times as I have shrugged
Trapped on a path that I was unable to alter
Until now
And where peace may live I would at least visit
It is not promised to me only
I must share it with others
And I will lay upon not so still waters until the rain ends
Knowing that it will end as it has in the past
Because the will is not for my happiness always
But instead the strength to live between meaning and confusion
Between belief and disbelief
Between the moment I press upon the piano key and release it
For as the sound begins to fade I can sustain what may fade
Or begin again with another note that can be played
The same as the last one
Or one that is different
And whether pleasing or not
It is the fact that I can make the sounds from wire and wood
The same that I can make love from flesh and bone
And it is tonight that I would do these things with you
If only I had a mind that was truly gifted

Familiar streets are not like a walk in the rain
Strangers don’t recall why I did it
But nature remembers without being asked
What happened was so long ago
But the sun and the moon are so very young
Because I told them I only trust children
Everything that is good lives in the wild
There is nothing for us to see but life
We feed them and water the things we love
I want you because I knew you once
It’s as if you stepped out of a dream
Who can I love if they never saw me sleep?
What I hear are the things we never talk about
What is calling are the sounds we try so hard know
Rain bouncing on dry streets are words for lovers
You are what I know but the mystery remains
It’s because you are only real to me as a shadow
You must live this way because indecision blocks the light

He thought about right and wrong; but
it didn’t seem to matter to the wolves
that gathered their forces against an elk
whose merciless death lent red contrast
to their mouths and the snow that fell
silently upon reality

As everyone scrambles for their ancient
texts and what was painstakingly copied by
the counting of each symbol, the strength
to reach into a dead animals heart to
find what if what was meant by survival
of the fittest included God’s word

He felt so far ahead of his time though
he really lived in the past; he saw laughter
he could not hear and cries he hoped
would not last, but to be happy about
simple things meant solace in the silence
of creativity

He preferred the shackles of rebellion rather
than the freedom of acquiescence, but when
veins burst, choking on words that insist upon
opening in the presence of  those who cannot
understand there is nothing he could do except
part the clouds with a trumpet blast

Imperialistic words invade happy moments
As you allow his saber to leave its sheath; we
slowly rub the tips of our fingers across the blade
fully realizing our power yet we only clinch our
teeth; there is too much to lose as we no longer
sleep on a sofa contemplate the dawn of madness

We want to be relevant and only see it in the eyes
of our children but he will let anger boil away all
helplessness; there is no test considered worthy
of a lifetime; he wanted love to be true but who
will really know; it made him wonder if it is for
him or for you

Love became a dark alley where discarded cards
go but he could not be defeated because he plays
no game; you see squares, circles and lines while
he sees space, emptiness and backgrounds; there
is no recognizable pattern that induces confinement
and not one moment of shrewd calculation

He spent money with no thought of tomorrow, no
evidence of presence, but he’s been through that
and what is left are images, spaces and empty places
filled with long ago wonder as he found it was better
to climb a fence than pay the toll for the memory of
a moment of freedom was worth the cost

I hope we're not rushing the same things
   Because I took my watch off
I hope we are climbing the same things
   Because I only see the summit
I hope we see the same things
   Because it's a clear night sky
I hope we forget the same things
   Because pain will invite itself tomorrow
I hope we believe the same things
   Because I don't want to convince you
I hope we feel the same things
   Because that's what I want to share
I hope we remember the same things
   Because that's why I'm smiling
I hope we want the same things
   Because I only want to be with you

If the wind does not breach the walls of your home;
and if the rain does not collect upon your floor;
and if your children do not cry for food or toys;
and if fear for life does not burn upon your mind;
and if begging for hope is not your only refuge;
then you are blessed

We are all touched
By each hand
Good
Evil
Believing
Not believing

Always a choice

Merciful
Unmerciful

Always a choice

each demon exists inside of us
growing out of its mouth
arms made of serpents
fingers made of ivy
finger nails made of lace
softly caressing us
so we can’t tell the difference
seascapes upon our minds
like sand pulling away from our feet
as we walk close to the surf
happy feelings
until they’re not
so we wait until the sun sets
and walk away from the surf
but not too far
just far enough to find cool dry sand
and we are alone now
thinking of someone
maybe we know them
maybe we want to know them
they were somewhere
out there

Or did we just imagine all of it?

We all hear voices
Some call them thoughts
Others hear things like God
It’s so different to them
There’s no way to tell us
Nobody believes them
So they die on the inside
And forget how to smile
They master anxiety with surrealistic disguises
No place left to go

“what type of hat?”
“what type of cloth?”
“flowing?”
“yes, flowing”

Who cares, we think

There’s always someone who does
How many times though do they care enough?
What does that even mean anyway?
Care enough
Enough for what?
For the sand to cool?

And then there’s tomorrow

To live
To die

But is that a choice?

I won’t choose to live or die
I will see what happens

Just like this morning

Listening to someone lie to me
Listening to someone trying to make me feel wrong
I’m not wrong
I have an opinion and I know why
The difference is my opinion speaks freely
Their opinion is an order from someone else
It’s how they are paid to think

I’m just paid to do

But I’m not wrong
I just live a certain way
But who did I hurt today?

Only myself

That's ok
I mean, what difference does that make?
It's just me
It's me stuffing snakes, ivy and lace back down my throat
Invisible snakes
But I know they are there

Just like yours
Except you are too afraid to discuss it

You just want to be paid
Don't you?

I don’t have to tell you what you mean to me
Because my roots extend all through your life
You can feel the way I draw upon the water
And drop my anchor where love slays strife

Where the soil parts my thoughts become yours
I grow inside the shadows and light of the forest
And though I may be what someone else can see
You are the space where my soul is nourished

But every second I exist within you creates a new life
That is where I find the meaning to live another day
Not in falling leaves that bury memories of yesterday
For my heart is only felt where my roots forever lay

It is my past that now speaks
It is good enough that I love you
I know how from afar
I am strong enough not to have you
I understand what you want
And take no offense to your absence
Though I dream of our nights together
It is our lives that matter most
And not our struggles together
It is a destiny that only gathers time
With no purpose other than our longing
And that is how it must live on
Until what must pass gives its consent

I’m not from that part of the world
But I know a few things about them
They love their children
They mourn their dead
Isn’t that enough to know them well?

His mother’s spirit rose through the box and soil
It once provided shelter and their annual harvest
Every child knows this
Because from where they come
The world is never lied about, only endured

They know no politics, but long for justice
Still a violin sounds sweet as their mother
And they know how to dance
Lightness all around their feet
The air is not as cruel as a man can be

To be common is not a poor man’s burden
To speak the truth plainly is his gift
But he is also high-minded
He has no fear of society
And though he is a slave his mind is not

How many generations must suffer purification
To become a people they must first bleed together
They are the chosen people
The ones their tormentors will curse
Because the past will remind them of who they are

But how will we come learn of our tangled roots
We bury ourselves but fail to see what we share
The soil upon which we walk
Is for life and for death
But what God can raise a man can only bury

i almost lost it
it happened so fast
everything i worked for
years of work
what i tried to understand

failed me again

control
it was once mine
but then it never was
never was
i thought i was so clever

i'm not

they control me
me
no matter what i do
they always win
because i care

let them run a red light

All the gold in the world
And all the promises too
Nothing of this earth
Can wrap around you

It is not about tradition
Or about the ring
The distance around
Is the echo of spring

I thought about you then
I think about you now
Only forever knows why
But I don’t know how

Our eyes scattered behind us
Staring through awakening sand
What washed ashore today
Escaped from my hand

I can’t see what is far away
You can’t see what is near
But what separates us
Is deeper than a tear

No further words are necessary
What our eyes say will be enough
The harvested past sustains us
Insatiable to our appetites
How we react is experience
How we feel is knowledge
How we live is what we choose

I want you to know how I feel
In the silence of the same dream
Like seeing your child again
In the laughter of a grandchild
Going back in time
That is why they cry
This is what we know

It’s what I thought anyway
There was a time when I knew
You loved me like no other
I didn’t know about the gift
The gift of someone who could love
But that someone was in a movie
And I’m here reading the credits

I know of our struggles
but I’m not a communist
or a hipster

I know there’s a soul
but I’m not a evangelist
or an atheist

I can’t change the world
but I try not to harm you
or my children

I am aware of many things
but I’m also ignorant
and full of perception

I loved you once long ago
but I still love you today
and I know it’s true

I have felt much pain
but I know my weakness
and my vices

I have heard you speak
but I have my own mind
and it’s my choice now

I am a deep thinker
but I should be a doer
because that is best

I do not judge culture
but I once did
and I was wrong

I am not chosen
but neither are you
we are all the same

I will honor your rights
but I can’t be you
let’s honor each other

I ask nothing of you
except your respect
and my freedom

The sky is black but there is no rain
It seems I’m only waiting to lose someone else
I watch as you grieve and thought of how it would feel
The river is dry but not the pain
Are you in a silent rage?
There’s a book and God turned a page
It was the one written about her
Who would want you to miss someone so much
It’s the same story about life
We are not soldiers but we watch people die
The fire raining down upon us cannot be seen
But we can feel the fear
The test of our survival is either true or a lie
The reason seems to be of no concern
No matter, it is our condition Lord
The new love we sent to you is a good reason to cry

paint not in haste or trepidation
the mistakes of a brush
are not the mistakes of a heart
for a painting asks not for time
or reward
it does not live solely in this life
it is only born here
and its birth
like that of a butterfly
has a life of its own
surrounded by white lace
the womb of an artist
where a new life is created
without fear
only beauty

I wondered what I might give for something
someone else dreams of at night; I’d rather know
what makes them think that way and not read
about the dark forces they believed to be real

There is a calm about the flour that covered the
baker; he is a man who has a craft, and whatever
he believes is in his hands; no matter if the story
was written last night or five hundred years ago

He is a part of the walls we pass each day; we
summon a smile for the moments he provides,
but he is the life, the life I want to know because
he does not wear a cape or walk with head bowed

Whatever they summon is made of candles, delusion
and the heart of a mushroom; what we read
comes alive in our minds because  the book is faded;
yet another language can seem just as mysterious

I wonder if worry drove them to this madness; I feel
the power that uncertainty  has in my life; it controls
the grandeur of my dreams for they are attached to the
solutions conspired against by my own weaknesses

But who can reshape the future yet live in poverty and
anonymity; it is the patron who believes in an idea
that can change the world; or maybe they just steal
the idea and pay someone else to write the myth

Would it make a difference if I could called it quicksilver
or mercury; probably not if we were dancing or if you
were crying; none of it mattered to them because what
their graves reveal is that we still don’t know how the feel

Nobody expects anything more than their own gifts can
deliver; the only one that matters is that it matters that
much; everything else is for an observer of life who wonders
why he is so ordinary and sunlight beneath the sea is not

I won't question cloudy or grey
Not if it's the sky
These colors I understand
Not how or why
But in the feeling they summon
That's the essence
How you absorb its presence
Yet the backdrop
Whatever it is, is so much greater
The time bending canvas
Everything lives inside this cocoon
Every mood
I cannot question its silent power
A freeway of feeling
Black clouds blue serenity grey hues
Not of my hand
Not of perception because it is true
Black and white
I prefer grey if not blue for its flexiblity
But orange with black spots
With legs walking upon my arm
I can't question it
Or flick it; never reject a pattern
That repeats in nature
Like clouds and grey mysteries
That order my thoughts
I will welcome whatever it will be
No matter what
That is what I have become
The feeling of nature

Being challenged emotionally
Where is the growth?
Not in you
But in the person who makes you think this way
What are you going to prove anymore
That you can take it?
Day after day?
Year after year?
It's your life
Maybe it's because of money
Or you're afraid of being alone
But you are alone
Alone and still suffering
Why?

eyes to the sky in wonder;
that which is without united us within,
if only for a moment to remember;
neither born of blessing or sin,
excepting the forbearance of our differences
by the flight of the shadowed fire fly;
and that it could be done in these troubled times,
no matter it’s haste in passing us by

You are so beautiful
But I can’t think like that
I can’t think of lying in bed
That’s how dreams start

It was only a hint
A look from a brave eye
It’s not so strange to you
It’s the light of every man

Walking in the crowd
How do they do it
How I really feel
Is just a mistake I made

I heard a song
The kind for a wistful stare
I felt that way once
Until I saw him take your hand

I never feel empty
Or even lonely
It’s that an ordinary life
Is not what dreams accept

Giving you my love
Without a doubt
Maybe you won’t take it
But not because I didn’t try

You were crying
I watched you walk away
I hoped what I thought was true
But you never would say

I know about freedom
And how love can take it away
But I’m willing to take a chance
Going nowhere can be so cruel

It’s what I need to know
I think you said it already
I saw you smile
When I wasn’t looking

Is there a time to be grateful for life, when
so many long to be free of this cage; could
it be only when selfishness knows no boundary,
or when each season arrives, cleansing the
past of its hold on our dreams

Is it when I wish to be what I cannot see;
nothing more than honest cry; as a baby
would only know, without remorse or
foresight

Is it when I can only be what is real that
I wish to be, the unseen senses in silent
purpose and longing without pretense

Is it when I wish to be only in turbulent
flow; in horror and shame, because of
what I know to be true of this life

Is it when I wish to be in a constant state
of inspiration; walking with nature;
without conversation excepting my eyes

Is it when I wish to be sad without laughter
or lightness, raw nerved; expressed in
pained fullness

Is it when I wish to be of you, to mingle your
pain with my own; to see your heart and
it’s ugly stain of life; cracked and imperfect

Is it when I wish to be, alone in my walk; to
know what I am; dove or rock; kindness or
unfeeling;

Is it when I wish to be what cannot be touched
by another's hand; a living soul, a pure spirit
and nothing more, living in my own land
without fences or title

Is it when I wish to be involved, not entertained;
original in thought, unexplained; piercing your
skin not for a night but even after I am gone

Is it when I wish to be myself but open, full
of energy, honest in pure emotion; an actor yet
real; a poet yet grounded; an artist who believes
in despair as much as in hope

Is there a time to be grateful for life, when I
can thank God no matter how I long for love;
no matter that the life of my father is over; no
matter that the world does not care for my
questions or my pain; tell me is there a time?

Sometimes nature turns on itself
Lightening in a forest
Termites in a tree
Lions feasting on the weak

Sometimes the bullet comes from within

I feel like I’m walking in tall grass
With a gun in my hand
A helmet
My training
But there is nothing to trust
Each step could be the last
The beauty of life only comforts itself
For it does not worry about tomorrow
But as I walk inside its splendor
I know that it will outlive my  life

And so
Tears without an ocean
Pain without a baby
Pride without purpose

Suffering alone
My choice
For it is mine
Salvation is mine
Or is it?

I once smiled easily
Too easily

Grace without tribulation
Repentance with a burning heart
Was that me?

And now
I see the bullets
Piercing my skin
Too slow to ****
Too fast to avoid

There is still time
But not for works
For I have become the mission
I will come to know man’s morality
I will come to know man’s mercy
I will come to know man’s grace
I will come to know my place in their hearts

There is nothing like the spray of water from the bow of a boat

I remember that now
Like a picture in a small locket
A moment of love
Nature
A woman
But nothing is promised forever
Except what we believe

For as a father can hate
So too can a child

But what is it that I believe

Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness

Yes

That is what I believe
For it is time
Time to believe
This is my chance
I now that now

How impressed must you be
I didn’t think that was how two people share a life
I saw you raising a glass again
Are you looking for something or running from it?

If it’s so important
Then why are you afraid of me
It’s not that I’m not good enough
It’s that you no longer believe in you

How holy are your thoughts of you?
God told you he would forgive you
You’re afraid of what I might do to you?
What road could I lose you on that he cannot find?

It seems every word I’ve thought of falls short
I wonder how long you will wait for me to get it right
Sweeping someone off their feet is not so easy
You want what’s sure but love can only say what might

How holy are my thoughts of you?
God told you me would forgive you
I’m afraid of what I might do to you
What road could I find you on that he won’t mind?

I try to describe what is me
And how it was described by you
Or what I wish it to be
I will try to tell you how I feel
But let me finish walking this highway

The preacher seemed so afraid
He keeps steering me away from this world
He says he’s trying to take me to my rightful place
And that there is too much sin
But this is our home

It’s not like it’s my last meal
At least it’s not what I thought it was
Inside the fears I confessed today
I found something new
And it was to say it to you

Yes, that’s how I feel
And what is pouring down upon you
Is all the vulnerability I possess
You have to be the one who takes my hand
Because I know about me but not about you

Remove the ocean salt from my eyes
So I may petal the flower in my heart
Then I will build a castle to preserve
The true in love while you are away

Remove the doubt from my faith
So I may know instead of believe
Then I will walk as sure as I breathe
Always knowing to whom it is I pray

Remove the perfection of my desires
So I may no longer assume my own
Then I will walk in bare feet before you
So you may know that I will always stay

I need someone with all the nerve of New Orleans
Wearing pants in church and a dress at the beach
A cigarette before work but only a smile when she drinks
There’s always two sides to her and I’ll take one of each

I know she would make love to my best friend
Her pride is as long as the memory she’s trying to forget
She told me she wasn’t going to be easy anymore
I had my chance once so I have to act like we just met

I know you
I know how it can be
You’re always around
But love to you isn’t something for free

That jazz piano from 1942 was singing about you
You’d live with a man you knew you’d never marry
It was better drinking with someone only you could hurt
You ignore fate because you know what it is already

You know me
You know how it can be
I’m always going to be around
Love to me is a girl in a dress walking by the sea

You can only compare the times we shared
You said nobody else was like me
Still you won’t walk upon the sands where I weep
It is easier for you to remember than to actually see

I’m not sure if I’m important to you anymore
Though our friendship survived our goodbyes
But do your dreams think of him while you sleep?
It is hard to love something that doesn’t make you cry

Opposite ends of a freeway
Distance that cannot forget
As I watched you drive away
I thought about living life without you
Living without you
It felt like dying before I could pray

I thought maybe time had been generous enough
Only destiny knows when to write the final chapter
But to have a memory that continues to bleed
Is a book that begs to know why living apart is better

Opposite ends of the ocean
Distance that cannot forget
As I watched darkness in motion
I thought about living life without you
Living without you
It felt like dying without any emotion

Closer to my soul the sword of man does sharpen
I cannot fight though my eyes by hate will darken
They dilate because my heart won’t let the light in
If only the tide washed up on the right side

There’s no place for a man with no power to live
What he must take is harder than what he can’t give
The time to repent is the moment you can’t forgive
If only the tide would choose instead of divide

I can’t feel if I’m passing through my own head
Or if it’s a movie projected by someone else
I talk so much trying to close the doors
It once was a large room with everything in it
Now it’s fingers of rivers flowing as the ice melts

I wouldn’t have thought it that way
But thinking is living and maybe it’s my fault
I cannot stop the complications of my garden
It takes time and patience, the answer is not easy
Too much sun burns and you can’t drink ocean salt

I watched someone blow smoke rings
I never could do things like that before
Instead I honor the ways of reaching for a bottle
And some old guitar blues prog playing in your head
The time past is a train that runs no more

I don’t mind waiting by the tracks
A barren tree silhouette shadowed by black and white
Being brushed off is a girl looking at her phone
I’m not entertained except by what’s hard to reach
You walked on by while I returned to the light