She was taught to conceal everything that made her human;
her plain skin, her stained past, all her mistakes because
it was more important to live life as an image than as a person

She didn’t like to cry because it wasn’t a world that honored
vulnerability; she knew what God wanted but even mustard
seeds are washed away from the garden when it rains all day

She wanted to tell the truth and all it could be was about
her own life but that’s not what everyone wanted to hear; so
instead she asked too many questions and lost a friend

She thought about everything she was told when she wasn’t
old enough to ask why; everybody that meant anything said
things that now make her ask how they could believe those things

She wondered if she needed to fix things up inside but couldn’t
decide if it really mattered; she could talk about her children
and her mom but that something inside wanted to feel alive

She left the past behind and kissed her youth sweetly as it was
her time to finally be who she was but it had taken so long to have
the courage to accept the truth that she became angry at herself

She knew she would never be able to change the world but she
thought she could change herself; it took her away from growing
old to take a stand on the truth and get to know who people are

She heard the big speech and the cries of war and warnings about
evil and it made her finally cry out loud; that’s when she knew she
was a passionate woman because it wasn’t about a man

I’m standing right in front of you
No matter your anger or opinion
Mine is as strong as yours
You can tell me how you feel
But if it doesn’t make any sense
I won’t agree no matter the cost

You can be a mother or a lover
I can be a father and just another
No matter I’m not going away
You think you love them more
That’s because you don’t understand
But someone new, I know she will

Hey lady, can I still call you that?
I once poured my heart out to you
But now it’s time for hate to die
Everything is in God’s hands
I’m ready for his judgment
But today I can live again

There is nothing I have not felt
The last strand of guilt is a silent killer
I do not owe more than I have paid
The only person that knew what I felt
Was the shadow I created on my own
Until sunset, then in darkness I forget

Echo cries
No longer human
We start it
Mountains reflect it
Meadows accept it
Then fading away
Where rock slides come to rest
And streams empty themselves
Into the human heart
Never a wasteland of indifference
Only a place to begin again
The birthplace of sound
Anguished and joyful

I can’t believe all you can see is how I hurt you
I think we fell in love but I'm not sure for how long
When the sun rose everything about you turned blue
The sky was beautiful but you decided you didn’t belong

I remember when we walked into the shadows
You had me and you smiled the way it felt
Your eyelashes were alive like a breeze in a forest
But you said I was too cold to let my heart melt

You love too hard now but you don’t think so
I heard a song about him telling her no
But it was because he didn’t want her to go
I once was young enough to be that way

I want to bring back what was lost
I want you to believe this time it’s real
But I’m as different now as you are
We have to learn to love the way we feel

I wondered what I might give for something
someone else dreams of at night; I’d rather know
what makes them think that way and not read
about the dark forces they believed to be real

There is a calm about the flour that covered the
baker; he is a man who has a craft, and whatever
he believes is in his hands; no matter if the story
was written last night or five hundred years ago

He is a part of the walls we pass each day; we
summon a smile for the moments he provides,
but he is the life, the life I want to know because
he does not wear a cape or walk with head bowed

Whatever they summon is made of candles, delusion
and the heart of a mushroom; what we read
comes alive in our minds because  the book is faded;
yet another language can seem just as mysterious

I wonder if worry drove them to this madness; I feel
the power that uncertainty  has in my life; it controls
the grandeur of my dreams for they are attached to the
solutions conspired against by my own weaknesses

But who can reshape the future yet live in poverty and
anonymity; it is the patron who believes in an idea
that can change the world; or maybe they just steal
the idea and pay someone else to write the myth

Would it make a difference if I could called it quicksilver
or mercury; probably not if we were dancing or if you
were crying; none of it mattered to them because what
their graves reveal is that we still don’t know how the feel

Nobody expects anything more than their own gifts can
deliver; the only one that matters is that it matters that
much; everything else is for an observer of life who wonders
why he is so ordinary and sunlight beneath the sea is not

I’m not from that part of the world
But I know a few things about them
They love their children
They mourn their dead
Isn’t that enough to know them well?

His mother’s spirit rose through the box and soil
It once provided shelter and their annual harvest
Every child knows this
Because from where they come
The world is never lied about, only endured

They know no politics, but long for justice
Still a violin sounds sweet as their mother
And they know how to dance
Lightness all around their feet
The air is not as cruel as a man can be

To be common is not a poor man’s burden
To speak the truth plainly is his gift
But he is also high-minded
He has no fear of society
And though he is a slave his mind is not

How many generations must suffer purification
To become a people they must first bleed together
They are the chosen people
The ones their tormentors will curse
Because the past will remind them of who they are

But how will we come learn of our tangled roots
We bury ourselves but fail to see what we share
The soil upon which we walk
Is for life and for death
But what God can raise a man can only bury

When you think of me
Don’t think too much
Except about being strong
Because I love you
And I always will

When you think of me
Don’t think of your fears
Think of our future together
Because I know you love me
Though your heart lies still

I don’t want to live playing pretend
I don’t want to live denying again
Distance shouldn’t make us forget
I don’t want to live as if we never met

When you think of me
Don’t think of anything else
Except what it really means
You said you met someone
But what’s empty he’ll never fill

So many times we've waited
Tomorrow is just too easy
Tomorrow is just too easy
Tomorrow is just too easy

I don’t want to live playing pretend
I don’t want to live denying again
Distance shouldn’t make us forget
I don’t want to live as if we never met

I was sitting there
languid, almost serene
your perfume in the air
but I  did not know your name

The moment was ours
or at least it was mine
how to make it yours
It always seems to be the same

The skin of the air was so clean
your scent, purring upon a pillow
your eyes,
slowly receding towards the night
they’re safer there
just the stars and you;
drawn to one another,
waiting for something to happen
but another sigh awaits

You left without a sound
except your chair, dragging
I hoped you’d turn around
But your heart made no claim

I’d seen it before
the entire moment
played over and over
I try to give them away
some gifts are left unopened

They rode upon rising swells of hope
Every culture with its own dream
But we couldn’t sleep together
So our nightmares became mean

The ocean is not wide enough to stop a wave

He didn’t lengthen time, just the distance
It takes an illness to build that high of a wall
The thick became thin in a simple mind
Violins can no longer play nor a child’s doll

The sky is not high enough for clouds to disappear

Is it power or compassion that makes a decision
We can’t wave a hand like a beautiful woman can
The stretch marks on his head swelled with pride
While the church decides what to say to the man

The milky way is not bright enough to last the day

We imprisoned a man without telling him why
We told his mother we are afraid of her baby
We told a prophet he was not the one we believe
We told God that faith is not about a nations safety

We assume grace will ignore our unforgiving fear

I want to be a man of humility
To speak truth without hesitation
Though holiness I cannot represent
It is instead to seek my liberation
I wear no indication of status
Though I walk head held high
I cannot pretend to be courageous
As I have no cause for which to die
I am no more human than you, or less
And I begin anew as one who cannot lose
Because I am a man of self-respect
To share with you the same as I choose
Let no moment pass without a heartbeat
Hear the drum and feel its echo
For there is to be no shame between us
Whether we live in castles or the ghetto

What we know of ourselves is our measure
But only if we are true to our past
To what temptation would we entreat ourselves
If into our own life are the lies we cast
The forces among us only know to divide
We cannot reach for God without a fight
We cannot see color in the same light
We cannot give to others our own right
That is not where I wish to walk and breathe
Instead it is where the poor live in a new land
It is where they struggle but know how to love
It is their feet I wish to wash with my own hand
There is no purpose other than hope
Not to gather for myself, but instead to spread
But what can I do except drop rocks into a pond
To watch forgiving ripples bring life to what once was dead

If you love someone
Someone who may be gone
Or still with you
Someone who gave you life
Someone who knew the truth about you
And still loved you
Even if you hurt them

If you knew someone
Who made you feel safe
Even in your worst form
And moments
If someone loves you like that
You cannot give tribute with words
There is nothing that is their equal
You cannot describe it
You can only feel it
Because nothing equals sadness
Nothing equals grief
Nothing equals life
Nothing equals that kind of love
Nothing
But them

No further words are necessary
What our eyes say will be enough
The harvested past sustains us
Insatiable to our appetites
How we react is experience
How we feel is knowledge
How we live is what we choose

I want you to know how I feel
In the silence of the same dream
Like seeing your child again
In the laughter of a grandchild
Going back in time
That is why they cry
This is what we know

It’s what I thought anyway
There was a time when I knew
You loved me like no other
I didn’t know about the gift
The gift of someone who could love
But that someone was in a movie
And I’m here reading the credits

We can never touch again
Because there is no room for love
We try to pretend
But it’s something we cannot rise above

We tried to do it
We thought it was an adult situation
But we’re really just kids
We failed to understand emotion

I told you what I could offer
But you deserve so much more
You need a man who loves you
Waiting is not what you asked for

My shadow is cast upon other men
Who approach you with love in their eyes
You silently loom inside all my decisions
As other women wonder if I tell only lies

They want to know where I stand
And I give them the honest truth
It is no closer to love than I am with you
But with you I recapture my youth

We close the door and enter our world
We love each other madly
Poison our bodies
And then part sadly

You beg me to come back
Not understanding how I forget
You pleasure me as no other
And yet I act as if we never met

But I do not forget
I remember
All too well
In my tortured slumber

The vision of your eyes in my mind
With tears of unknowing
How can you give a man so much
And endure his coming and going?

I cannot explain
I cannot commit to you
I cannot commit to anyone
And yet you remain true

How can you believe in me?
How can you see the future
In a man who has no present
And a heart that is never sure?

As the ***** beats the passion play
That only you can hear
I resist the urge
Your pain is my fear

Can you understand
That I hurt you today
So that I won’t hurt you tomorrow
It is uncertainty that lights my way

I keep turning pages
In a book that I cannot put away
The truth of our love hurts so much
But I rip out the pages that betray

I don’t want to read it
It’s about hurting a friend
I wrote your love story
But I don’t know how to write the end

Forgive my lack of courage
I need to tell you goodbye
I keep hoping you will do it first
That way I won’t have to tell you why

I'm looking at the last page
The one that won’t turn
It is your turn to write
Tell me if I should return

I wish I’d saved it
Every smile I chose to hide
Every note that fell into silence
Every silence made into noise

I wish I’d killed it
Every laugh that became snide
Every confidence that was arrogance
Every blessing I played like toys

I wish I’d saved it
Every star I traced while you cried
Every pretty face I pretended was darkness
Every emotion I traded for poise

I wish I’d killed it
Every time I saw you and lied
Every time I thought money was happiness
Every time I saw tears but said it wasn’t for boys

It was a song I loved
The notes reached me
I understood what they were saying

It was a song I knew
I didn't have to ask questions
But one day it just stopped playing

Like a high flying bird
It vanished into the sky
Reminding me life is changing

I forgot its message
It was dead to me
I didn’t know it was waiting

A song needs its lover
The one who understands it best
The one who can hear it calling

Arousing me from indifference
The bird suddenly appeared
And my heart began its falling

As I reached out
It darted away
I wondered where it was going

But it only circled above
Singing forgotten notes
Asking if it was time for our joining

But how can I know if it is true
Is it time for something real
Or just memories I keep reliving?

I need
to know that to defend the indefensible
is not to turn your back on your race
or what is right

I need
to know that to assume inerrancy
is to make yourself God
above all light

I need
to know that our hearts are the same
as are the fears we harbor inside
for our children at night

I need
to know that those whom we accuse
and carry a badge or a sign
are black and white

I need
to know that fear is not always evil
that a mistake is not intent
but in whose sight?

I need
to know that we must come together
for our world has been weakened
by the battle we fight

Closer to my soul the sword of man does sharpen
I cannot fight though my eyes by hate will darken
They dilate because my heart won’t let the light in
If only the tide washed up on the right side

There’s no place for a man with no power to live
What he must take is harder than what he can’t give
The time to repent is the moment you can’t forgive
If only the tide would choose instead of divide

I made my choices
They are what they were
Good and bad
I know I meant well
I know I made someone sad

I'm not a mystery
If you want to know
Just ask
I am not ashamed
Not of my past

Why would I want to hide?
Maybe it's because I'm tired
I've said so many things
I've thought even more
I'm bored of the song I sing

Maybe I'm just getting started
It took a life to begin again
I know so much
Is it all holding me back?
I need a lighter touch

Staying close to the night
Time was upside down
My eyes open when it's time
Fatigue once told me
I'm the sentence for your crime

Is the world ready for love
I know my children are
Will it hurt or make them mad?
I wish I knew their path
I'm like any other Dad

I'm a light in a cave
It goes deep
But it's not dangerous
The walls are marked
You don't have to be courageous

I can see myself clearly
It's you who is the mystery
Quiet and calm
What are you on the inside?
What does it say on your palm?

I already said I love you
I'll say it a thousand more times
Will it all wear you down
Will you want to hear another voice
So in mine you won't drown?

How soon will I know
Will the book be long enough
To be worth the last page?
I wonder if that is how you think
Or is it day by day as we age?

I can live with who you are
I won't judge the path you were on
How could I when
I was the one
Standing alone at the end?

There is no will power to summon
It's easy to love what is good
There is no temptation anymore
I know what I have now
It's not like anything before

(slaves)

we are a conquered people
but we walk freely as servants
our masters are not at peace
for they know what they do
yet before us they stand
as we weep for our loss
or exult over our victory
and though they are of Caesar

we give that which is God

(supper)

we wash in the headwaters
the water that cleanses my soul
we harvest the vineyards
the wine that became my blood
we cast seeds into the fields
the bread that is my body
we listen to their promises
but a voice became the word

we cannot speak of the image
the ritual looks not upon idols

(kolam)

she made chalk from rice fields
all are invited except evil spirits
lines and circles for prosperity
tomorrow another will be drawn

(death)

is there injustice
speak to me
purify myself
non-violence

until the bullet says no more

(resurrection)

she drew two needles
two needles that cross
two needles that mend
the eyes cast no stone

(desire)

they wear only robes
all desire has passed
the moon guides them
upon waters with no home

(pilgrimage)

seven circles against time
kissing and touching stone
prayers where they stand
drink water from the well

(incorporeal)

how to describe the ocean
to a baby that cannot swim
when we cannot see the edge
nor all that lives within its womb?
all we can do is reap its harvest
by drawing fish in the sand
removing them from the nets
and from baskets made full

(love)

no heaven can accept my sin
no hell can accept my goodness
i can only tell you how I feel
though what I see is you
and what I know is me
you have become like the stars
as beautiful and distant
as grace is to a man like me

I saw somebody just like you in the park
She was smiling at someone
It finally hit me, walking away
You might could love someone else too

Can I see how we painted the magic
the way you could forget your manners
when you were alone with a man

I have to accept change
Like nature accepts the way it lives and dies
I have to watch out now
It’s laying all about

Can I see how we used to walk
like goose bumps through a forest
of hair standing on our arms

It’s like sleeping in the broom closet
No window and the darkness, so dark
As if the sun was never born
And taking pictures the only flash in its place

Can I see how I won your love
inside the eyes that wouldn’t let me go
until you realized it was true

A perfect miracle
Forgiveness you can never give
A perfect blossom
A tree you have never seen
It is all in the mind
It is all we that we ask
To be given the chance to witness
Or give
Perfection
Can it come from the living
But why is the opposite true
A scar upon our back
And upon our heart
Pain too easily felt
Or darkness made from our fears
Why can we not also become light
Or heal our enemy
From the pain they inflicted upon us
For the perfect blossom grows
In the soil of the human heart
And it is ours to plant
If only we knew how

It was you that I dreamed about
But it was only how I wanted you to be
You had a different dream  
And even though it was me
You were something that dreams can't see

It was the day that waited
Once we became who we were
The dreams we couldn't share left us
And even if we try to pretend
We will never know how it feels to be sure

At least we don't cry as we sleep
A dreamer never welcomes his tears
How could anyone give everything
Without a fantasy to give them courage
I'd rather live it than alone with my fears

You've made bad mistakes
So have I
The only ones that matter
Are the ones that kept me from you
I'm not feeling like a bad person
It's only a lost feeling
How can it be so clear
And be so far instead of near
Maybe I wasn't ready for you
You were rising like hot summer air
And I was falling through every bump
The turbulence was not what I asked for
That's how we fly our planes
Gliding, thrusting into the air
And you were all I wanted there
I must have passed you on the way to nowhere

We are all touched
By each hand
Good
Evil
Believing
Not believing

Always a choice

Merciful
Unmerciful

Always a choice

each demon exists inside of us
growing out of its mouth
arms made of serpents
fingers made of ivy
finger nails made of lace
softly caressing us
so we can’t tell the difference
seascapes upon our minds
like sand pulling away from our feet
as we walk close to the surf
happy feelings
until they’re not
so we wait until the sun sets
and walk away from the surf
but not too far
just far enough to find cool dry sand
and we are alone now
thinking of someone
maybe we know them
maybe we want to know them
they were somewhere
out there

Or did we just imagine all of it?

We all hear voices
Some call them thoughts
Others hear things like God
It’s so different to them
There’s no way to tell us
Nobody believes them
So they die on the inside
And forget how to smile
They master anxiety with surrealistic disguises
No place left to go

“what type of hat?”
“what type of cloth?”
“flowing?”
“yes, flowing”

Who cares, we think

There’s always someone who does
How many times though do they care enough?
What does that even mean anyway?
Care enough
Enough for what?
For the sand to cool?

And then there’s tomorrow

To live
To die

But is that a choice?

I won’t choose to live or die
I will see what happens

Just like this morning

Listening to someone lie to me
Listening to someone trying to make me feel wrong
I’m not wrong
I have an opinion and I know why
The difference is my opinion speaks freely
Their opinion is an order from someone else
It’s how they are paid to think

I’m just paid to do

But I’m not wrong
I just live a certain way
But who did I hurt today?

Only myself

That's ok
I mean, what difference does that make?
It's just me
It's me stuffing snakes, ivy and lace back down my throat
Invisible snakes
But I know they are there

Just like yours
Except you are too afraid to discuss it

You just want to be paid
Don't you?

All our life is finally here
It really is true
I’m going to tell you now
Though I don’t really know you

I want to tell somebody
The things they want to hear
Maybe if I write it down
I will be ready to whisper in your ear

It’s time to listen to the moon
Though the silence is so calm
It’s my heart that you feel

In the last days
Everyone wonders
What was it about
So many times
I felt so twisted
I felt so much doubt

All our life we dream
And we wait
But you walked by
While I held open the gate

It’s time to listen to the sun
The warmth made you smile
Because my heart is real

Nothing so dead ever smelled so alive
The air full of soft cedar perfume
But where now the bees and their hive
The birds and the trees?
Every one that shaded our walks
Now a grave yard of memories
Cut down in haste before the sun
While the moon witnessed the sin
No light so bright ever felt so glum
Full as love once was young
Resisting the salt of *****
And tears never to be forgotten
To live instead without depth
To wade in shallow ponds
And not beneath the surface
Where our souls silently guide us
Is to allow the past, lying prone
To be trod upon by progress
No, it cannot be so
Where a breeze played alone
And a shadow dodged the sun
No, it cannot be so callous
As to allow its own heart to die
While the body walks away
Empty except for malice
Because for another to atone
Is to not be the comfort parade
For those who beg not to lie
Beg not to watch an eclipse
That can only sing sad songs
That only remind of its own
And how the only home
Remembered as it was made
A life without ever being paid
Only a sanctuary for the afraid
Now the busy dead live among us
And we must allow it to be so
The cross is where the bark fell
The spirit is what I shall tell
For I’ve become a birds nest rising
But it’s not so surprising
As my rhyme wavers once again
I must choose another hole to live
The one I once loved is full
Full like a rising tide
Reaching for its mother
Take me home the ocean cried
For what is left except for you?

I saw you walking
Staring straight ahead
In your wake lay every man
But a common girl you chose to be instead

You lived inside their every eye
A silence that stared to communicate
Your hands clasped in your lap
Instead of riches it is love that you await

The night you wore only your face
Was when you knew your own name
You went into the night unafraid
You decided life was better looking plain

You gave yourself away
But only to yourself
You've built a life
And every possibility exists

If you gave it to me
How can I be all of that
Why would the world exist
If I am the only one?

You cannot know me
Cleverness is like perfume
The aroma is not life
It is only to trick your mind

I know every emotion
The same as you
I throw them in the air
But I always drop them

Being alone is a fortress
My voice intrudes
It is naked with purpose
You must consider its strength

Is it all to much
A violin changes your feeling
I try to be soft but beautiful
A sound you cannot ignore

You wait for another soul
How long does a revelation take
If I cannot make you laugh
Is my kindness so worthless?

I cannot see the scarf you wear
I only know it hides your heart
Forever guarded by God's hand
Will I ever know its grace?

How can I say this?

I love you

And you said I was a melting floating piece of ice carrying your soul like a polar bear randomly effected by whim selfishness ego and the inability to connect with anything because I was too cold to give and too temporary to care

But it doesn't mean I don't love you

I can't get you out of my mind

And you said that is because I haven't gotten over the fact that someone wouldn't prefer to live their life as a stranded beautiful example of a dying world solely to be remembered as the one I dragged to their ultimate demise rather than to find someone who knew how to love someone for who they were

So I continue to live alone

Without the people I care about the most

The lights in the distance
Rivers without end
I only seem to cross alone
You never return the favor

Home again, it's easy to see
Waiting for me, nature I possess
But is it my own or something else
I can't decide which way to turn

Save it all, every moment
I want you to share it with me
Even if you can't describe it
I will see it in your eyes

It doesn't matter, night or day
Asleep or awake, you follow
Or dragged by fantasy's light
Between us there's so much more

We must make love
Before we ever touch
We must make love
As we talk
We must make love
Whenever we walk
Together
Or alone
Always on our mind
As a gentle breeze
Capturing your heart
With love
With allure
With anticipation
Even as we wait
Knowing our bodies
Will please the other
Because
That is what matters
Let me be your lover
Let me take you there
You must know
That I crave you
I cannot stop
Thinking of you
Imagining
How you will be
The singular focus
Of my need
To engulf you
Can no longer be denied
And so
It is time
To be still
It is time
To be silent
It is time
For you to submit
To me
We have gazed upon one another
We have bared our souls
We have been equals
Now it is time
For me to be your man
And to be a man
The way you want me to be
The way that I am
You don't have to tell me what to do
I know what you want
I know how you want it
And that is what I want
So it is time
For submission
To be beautiful
To be desirable
To be open
To let me run free
In your life
In your mind
In your garden
Let me control you
Let me turn the key
And open the door
To the way a man
Loves a woman
It is time for me
To carry you
It is time for me
To ****** you
It is time for you
To submit
To my lust
To my desire
To my need
To make love to you
As long as it takes
For your
Exhaustion
For your
Glistening
Beads of sweat
For your
******
Yes
As long as it takes
I will never tire
Because
All I want
Is to make you
Remember
And want more
Every night
I will be your man
I am not beating my chest
It is my heart that beats
In pursuit
Of you
My prey
Let me kiss your neck
Let me turn you
Away
So I can touch you
All over your body
Let me turn you
And see your body
And draw you to me
Let me pull you
To me
So I can touch you
And kiss you
Ravenously
Like an animal
Overwhelming you
With my passion
As you have never felt
Passion
Dominating your mind
So you will forget
Your lessons
Of childhood
So you can be a woman
And make love to me
Your man

She was smiling but her head was tilted back
I asked her where she was going?
She said I’m happy but I don’t know what to believe
I told her don’t believe anything
Just believe in yourself

I could love with no strings attached
All she could see was love that was afraid to show
I said we’ll never meet in the middle if you think like that
She said I’m already there, it’s you who won’t let go

Your problem is you like to burn bridges
You’ve crossed so many now they light up the night
I try to keep all my mistakes to myself
Just in case somebody walks the same road I might

I used to pride myself on being to handle my liquor
That was so long ago maybe it means I grew up
I ordered us some red wine
When did I become so cool going out on the town
I just wish my heart could feel the same

I couldn’t love with no strings attached
But I didn’t let my weakness show
She said I was too strong for somebody like that
I said I’m ready for you if only you would let yourself go

you should know now what I would say
i cannot be engaged by the ambitions of man
instead
i live inside a song
in front of a painting
wading in the ocean
at the bottom of a water fall
in a state of constant inspiration
by nature
and the spirit of man
feeling only how it came to this
that we cannot overcome our differences
yet in the moment of crescendo
where harmony
and color
and tides
and pools form
it is there that we rise above human form
and become spirit
no longer what the eye may see
or the mind may judge
but instead
only that known to God
for only the truth will survive
and before him we are all the same
yet before each other
we are different
and difference becomes separation
and separation becomes suspicion
and suspicion becomes anger
and anger becomes hate
but my emotions are very close to my words
what do you expect of me
don’t you know by now?

In my time of dying
Will I remember love
Or will I remember you?
I wanted to walk with you
Not knowing our fate
I wanted to kiss you
Hoping your lips would wait
Saving themselves
Not for loves sake
But for a mate
Who was as afraid of forever
As he was of never
Knowing the peril that lay before him
When loves fire becomes distant
Revealing the natural light of friendship
And the truth of our life together
The choice to accept our flaws
And our blind emotions
No matter how small
And no matter how great

I desire peace
but it is knowledge that I prefer
and I will accept pain
if it is truth that I will acquire

I desire love
but it is loyalty standing next to you
and I will be your witness
even if only I know what is true

I desire pleasure
but I will trade honesty for passion
and I will be your friend
instead of you being my possession

I desire beauty
but what I see can wait a little longer
and I will show you patience
instead of pretending to love a stranger

He thought about right and wrong; but
it didn’t seem to matter to the wolves
that gathered their forces against an elk
whose merciless death lent red contrast
to their mouths and the snow that fell
silently upon reality

As everyone scrambles for their ancient
texts and what was painstakingly copied by
the counting of each symbol, the strength
to reach into a dead animals heart to
find what if what was meant by survival
of the fittest included God’s word

He felt so far ahead of his time though
he really lived in the past; he saw laughter
he could not hear and cries he hoped
would not last, but to be happy about
simple things meant solace in the silence
of creativity

He preferred the shackles of rebellion rather
than the freedom of acquiescence, but when
veins burst, choking on words that insist upon
opening in the presence of  those who cannot
understand there is nothing he could do except
part the clouds with a trumpet blast

Imperialistic words invade happy moments
As you allow his saber to leave its sheath; we
slowly rub the tips of our fingers across the blade
fully realizing our power yet we only clinch our
teeth; there is too much to lose as we no longer
sleep on a sofa contemplate the dawn of madness

We want to be relevant and only see it in the eyes
of our children but he will let anger boil away all
helplessness; there is no test considered worthy
of a lifetime; he wanted love to be true but who
will really know; it made him wonder if it is for
him or for you

Love became a dark alley where discarded cards
go but he could not be defeated because he plays
no game; you see squares, circles and lines while
he sees space, emptiness and backgrounds; there
is no recognizable pattern that induces confinement
and not one moment of shrewd calculation

He spent money with no thought of tomorrow, no
evidence of presence, but he’s been through that
and what is left are images, spaces and empty places
filled with long ago wonder as he found it was better
to climb a fence than pay the toll for the memory of
a moment of freedom was worth the cost

It was just a question between kids, or maybe
between a monkey and a tortoise; one who
liked to climb trees; the other more pleased
with taking his time

How did things start; the question waffed
by dry air, watched by the hands that set it
in motion coming to rest as a most fortunate
tenant on the back of the pitching shell

If it was an explosion maybe that’s why we
cannot live delicately though butterflies
and falling leaves pass through this life; even
as a mirage; owning their resistance to death
as a dream owns our fears

It must be like that; we live like animals;
reacting to forces that we cannot control
or understand; spreading our minds apart
like buildings scattered by what another
man described as victory

Though reason remains within us the decisions
we make cannot stick to walls that refuse to
stand still while time records every doubt
as to the meaning of islands and arks

But why would we blow something up to
create something new unless what was
to come was penance for horrors that a
youthful God witnessed in his progeny;
only the cross knows why

It’s alright my darling
If they don’t get me
You are more than that
What matters is you do

The way you welcome me
Everything I say is right
I only have to breathe
Your heart holds it in

I know you are waiting
Always believing in me
My mistakes don’t matter
You understand how life is

You make it so easy to love
The fear I once knew is gone
How can I not take the chance
When your smile only says yes

I’m ready to say I love you
But you already know it’s true
I’m not the first to look at you
With eyes soaking to the bone

I already know it’s worth it
The pain of losing someone
Is how my tears choose to live
Your memory is the way to die

Bury me in your forgiveness
Leave me to thoughts of you
There is no temple for my heart
Except inside the one I loved

It's too much for us to take
Saying goodbye so many times
There is more than one love
Every path turns more than once

I don't need to go without
I didn't choose to live that way
I once knew how to be brave
But then I had to protect myself

I'm not going to crawl anymore
There is a way to say I'm sorry
I can't make it a way of life
If you can't tell me the same

It's not that I can't forgive
I can but it's not what it was
Our love began as a fantasy
It ended because it wasn't reality

I thought I could love like Jesus
I sank as soon as the water rose
I can no longer breathe like before
Being saved means drowning first

She begged me to stop
She was standing on a mountaintop
But I wasn’t there
The only way she could reach it was with my thoughts
No one else could ever imagine such a place for her
But the rivers that took her there
Transformed
Back into ice crevices carved into her heart
The winds that carried her
Changed direction
To await the birds that had all flown south
The sounds that soothed her
Grew silent
Like the desolation of a dream waiting for me to wake up
You angrily swept yourself away
Not caring how fast you descended
Or even that I had finally appeared at the summit
There was no lie to tell
Or truth to remember
Only the myth of a love that you knew was real
But was unable to believe in itself

It never ends It never changes
But we do
The clouds And the moon
Reflections
So Bright But so needy
Just Like us

Above it all For once in my life
but nervous
not Like a Fish in the ocean
Floating
Deep But always so alone
just like Me

Nothing can be done Nothing at all
But wait
a mirror extended End to end
Silent
But So true So hurtful So real
Just like you

I'm not waiting for anything
Though that's not really true
What am I missing anyway
Only the last romance

I can't start what can never end
At least not until I'm willing
I'm acting like such an adult
Can you love a child?

I'm not detached anymore
The lake is mine now
I finally decided I belong
I see the path is you

Walking alone is being free
My thoughts know no distraction
It's as if everyone agrees with me
If only I could

I want to show you around
I have to not be afraid
It's not like flying in a plane
It's losing you

I forgot how it all works
I think I need you to say it
I'm can take it from there
But I can wait

she said i can't believe how you've gotten over me
it's because you haven't changed
somehow you got over me when we were in love
and now it's been so long
our memories have changed
still you want me to feel the hurt
but you didn't walk away from a wilting flower
instead I was a rock swarmed by too much rain
you didn't know it then
even at the bottom of a raging river
there is no loss great enough to make me drown
your disappointment in me now is only in yourself
if you cannot destroy someone then what are you?
is that the question you bring to me today?

I don’t ask too many questions
At least not that I’m aware
Maybe I do or just maybe I don’t think so
Except that I will if it means something
Like a stranger I’ve come to know

You don’t have to tell me
What you believe is your affair
Perception is when somebody says it’s so
I’ll listen to you even if it’s nothing
I’m not worried about what you know

We can go where the light is quiet
And the darkness loud
All we have to do is let it be so
We’ll avoid the popular crowd
And sing songs in Spanish
About love and tales of woe

I don’t need to know your religion
Or your favorite prayer
It’s not important that you say it’s so
I’ll look into your eyes to find my blessing
And hopefully then I’ll really know

We can go live in the soft climate  
Underneath no dark cloud
We will bury ourselves in the same row
No matter how often it’s been plowed
Our memories will never vanish
Not in the heart of a farmer or a crow

The same light now shines on enemies sworn
For evil has spun the web of the newly born dawn
The world can’t decide who should blow the horn
Between land and sea, frightened clouds are born
But who’s God decides which man will be saved?

No longer enchanted by our appearances
Blonde hair dark skin or man woman differences
We should all be equal no matter our distances
Our colors don’t matter but it makes us all witnesses
We spend too much time passing out the blame

We ripped the carpet up leaving the nails by the wall
The cold concrete felt so good until sun began to fall
We talked about the glass but weren’t sure what we saw
We waited by the phone but the answer decided not to call
It’s only kept us ignorant so we were used to that

You ever talk to a grave digger before the family arrives?
He burns out the hole with a ***** that is still alive
It makes no difference to him who it was or their size
The dimensions are good enough to say our goodbyes
He walks away with nothing left, the same as us

Who said it was time to notice the things that are wrong
Somebody was shocked that they felt they did not belong
You think a poor man is happy that you like his song?
He’d rather you sing it while he eats and drinks all night long
If you won’t take him in then don’t go to the zoo

What kind of insurance is a Bible and a gun next to your bed
You can pray and you can shoot but is that what Jesus said?
I know how it is when you can’t figure out what’s in your head
Some **** for God some for themselves either way he's dead
My nightstand is empty but I know how to sleep at night

Is there a time to be grateful for life, when
so many long to be free of this cage; could
it be only when selfishness knows no boundary,
or when each season arrives, cleansing the
past of its hold on our dreams

Is it when I wish to be what I cannot see;
nothing more than honest cry; as a baby
would only know, without remorse or
foresight

Is it when I can only be what is real that
I wish to be, the unseen senses in silent
purpose and longing without pretense

Is it when I wish to be only in turbulent
flow; in horror and shame, because of
what I know to be true of this life

Is it when I wish to be in a constant state
of inspiration; walking with nature;
without conversation excepting my eyes

Is it when I wish to be sad without laughter
or lightness, raw nerved; expressed in
pained fullness

Is it when I wish to be of you, to mingle your
pain with my own; to see your heart and
it’s ugly stain of life; cracked and imperfect

Is it when I wish to be, alone in my walk; to
know what I am; dove or rock; kindness or
unfeeling;

Is it when I wish to be what cannot be touched
by another's hand; a living soul, a pure spirit
and nothing more, living in my own land
without fences or title

Is it when I wish to be involved, not entertained;
original in thought, unexplained; piercing your
skin not for a night but even after I am gone

Is it when I wish to be myself but open, full
of energy, honest in pure emotion; an actor yet
real; a poet yet grounded; an artist who believes
in despair as much as in hope

Is there a time to be grateful for life, when I
can thank God no matter how I long for love;
no matter that the life of my father is over; no
matter that the world does not care for my
questions or my pain; tell me is there a time?

The sun always sets first on cloud high
That’s what he thought as the flag waved
It flew against the background he once flew
Before the bursts of light that frame his sleep

From the nose of the bomber he saw it first
It was his life and it was in God’s hands now
There was something about peacemakers
He tried not to think about what was right

He thought of these things as the horizon bent
He never was one to hate anybody or anything
Oh the longing for peace but that was not today
He wondered if they would think he was weak

He knew a song about praying the morning after
But what if that’s too late to ask for mercy
It's been so long since he wondered about it
These things are only for poets to write

They didn’t know we were coming home
Who is that at the door? Are you all right?
Looking at you tells me that I need to be
Just never ask me that question ever again

Sometimes
you need to be part of something
Not a follower
but something they would miss
Not a gift
but something you have earned
It's the feeling
of watching a baseball game
Or sitting
at the bottom of a swimming pool
Surrounded
by what makes you feel welcome
I felt it once
long ago inside an old chapel
And when
you cried because I was leaving
That's when
I knew that I was a part of love
That's when
you finally became a part of me

How can we forget who died trying to make us equal
Somebody said it’s up to you to make it happen
But you don’t know what you would do laying in your crib
Would you make mud out of dirt floors in your mansion?

It wasn’t a made-up soul standing on the corner
Though you thought he was dead in his mother’s womb
She gave birth in a world that didn’t want him to live
But the song he once sang echoes in our own tomb

The voices of the past continue to haunt our thoughts
Yet the dead remain mute leaving us with our own cries
We read their words and wait for a stillborn prophecy’s birth
As the day ends the sun laughs through sacrificial eyes

The floor rises as each page is ripped from the book of life
Who watches while I decide between penance or desires?
What piper would play two songs when only one can be heard?
We await the answer hoping it's the one our heart requires