I wish I’d saved it
Every smile I chose to hide
Every note that fell into silence
Every silence made into noise

I wish I’d killed it
Every laugh that became snide
Every confidence that was arrogance
Every blessing I played like toys

I wish I’d saved it
Every star I traced while you cried
Every pretty face I pretended was darkness
Every emotion I traded for poise

I wish I’d killed it
Every time I saw you and lied
Every time I thought money was happiness
Every time I saw tears but said it wasn’t for boys

I'm not waiting for anything
Though that's not really true
What am I missing anyway
Only the last romance

I can't start what can never end
At least not until I'm willing
I'm acting like such an adult
Can you love a child?

I'm not detached anymore
The lake is mine now
I finally decided I belong
I see the path is you

Walking alone is being free
My thoughts know no distraction
It's as if everyone agrees with me
If only I could

I want to show you around
I have to not be afraid
It's not like flying in a plane
It's losing you

I forgot how it all works
I think I need you to say it
I'm can take it from there
But I can wait

There is never a chapter to write
When your life is not a book
What you choose to reveal is easy
If only they knew where to look

The high place of mountain tops
Or depths where ships are graved
Are no match for what I cannot see
But know that discovery has saved

I’m ready to know
What is inside
And how far to go

While birds fly
And flowers grow
What I am now
Is neither above or below

In the veins of my mistakes
The fascination of you drowns alone
I thought to find you but myself I am lost
Except I know exactly where I have gone

I’m ready to know
What is inside
And how far to go

While birds fly
And flowers grow
What I am now
Is neither above or below

There is no gentle tragedy
Or horrible calm
But where we ask our questions
Is the answer to where we belong

I know it should be so simple
Boy loves girl till death do us part
But sometimes the way the winds blow
I can no longer find my own heart

There are so many words to say
I need to make them heard by you
Can you hear my whisper ringing loud
Inside your life that I will make new

We are not the dying kind of love
But being apart is a crying kind of love
You don’t have to think about it
You don’t have to talk about it
I know it’s what you’re made of

I want to travel a road to anywhere
If we get there we’ll have to plan again
I’d rather a peaceful song of togetherness
Not searching but being with my friend

The balcony sun is worth the moment
But who’s worth the time remaining
It’s someone who has known what’s passed
And forgives the times my mind is raining

We are not the dying kind of love
But being apart is a crying kind of love
You don’t have to think about it
You don’t have to talk about it
I know what you’re made of

When you think of me
Don’t think too much
Except about being strong
Because I love you
And I always will

When you think of me
Don’t think of your fears
Think of our future together
Because I know you love me
Though your heart lies still

I don’t want to live playing pretend
I don’t want to live denying again
Distance shouldn’t make us forget
I don’t want to live as if we never met

When you think of me
Don’t think of anything else
Except what it really means
You said you met someone
But what’s empty he’ll never fill

So many times we've waited
Tomorrow is just too easy
Tomorrow is just too easy
Tomorrow is just too easy

I don’t want to live playing pretend
I don’t want to live denying again
Distance shouldn’t make us forget
I don’t want to live as if we never met

You walk on the stones
When you can feed your son
You're never refused
When the water you drink
Is from the cup you choose

You lay under their feet
When water dries in the sun
You're always refused
When a poor man lives hard
And his son can never choose

What can I say?
What can I say?
They suffer while I play
They suffer while I play
There/s nothing for me to say
There's nothing for me to say
My life has always been that way
My life has always been that way

You walk on the stones
When you know who loves you
It's you they choose
You lay under their feet
When you know they forgot you
It's you they refuse

What can they say?
What can they say?
They suffer while I play
They suffer while I play
There's nothing for them to say
There's nothing for them to say
Their life has always been that way
Their life has always been that way

What can anybody say?
What can anybody say?
What can anybody say?

She was taught to conceal everything that made her human;
her plain skin, her stained past, all her mistakes because
it was more important to live life as an image than as a person

She didn’t like to cry because it wasn’t a world that honored
vulnerability; she knew what God wanted but even mustard
seeds are washed away from the garden when it rains all day

She wanted to tell the truth and all it could be was about
her own life but that’s not what everyone wanted to hear; so
instead she asked too many questions and lost a friend

She thought about everything she was told when she wasn’t
old enough to ask why; everybody that meant anything said
things that now make her ask how they could believe those things

She wondered if she needed to fix things up inside but couldn’t
decide if it really mattered; she could talk about her children
and her mom but that something inside wanted to feel alive

She left the past behind and kissed her youth sweetly as it was
her time to finally be who she was but it had taken so long to have
the courage to accept the truth that she became angry at herself

She knew she would never be able to change the world but she
thought she could change herself; it took her away from growing
old to take a stand on the truth and get to know who people are

She heard the big speech and the cries of war and warnings about
evil and it made her finally cry out loud; that’s when she knew she
was a passionate woman because it wasn’t about a man

They rode upon rising swells of hope
Every culture with its own dream
But we couldn’t sleep together
So our nightmares became mean

The ocean is not wide enough to stop a wave

He didn’t lengthen time, just the distance
It takes an illness to build that high of a wall
The thick became thin in a simple mind
Violins can no longer play nor a child’s doll

The sky is not high enough for clouds to disappear

Is it power or compassion that makes a decision
We can’t wave a hand like a beautiful woman can
The stretch marks on his head swelled with pride
While the church decides what to say to the man

The milky way is not bright enough to last the day

We imprisoned a man without telling him why
We told his mother we are afraid of her baby
We told a prophet he was not the one we believe
We told God that faith is not about a nations safety

We assume grace will ignore our unforgiving fear

i wonder if you are joy
entering my arm
or a needle
reminding me of the pain
the inside of a pill
ready to melt into my body
or the way I choke
as it clutches my throat
the smoke is the mist
you are walking towards me
or is it how I cough
knowing it cannot last
i want you deep, inside
the only way to my heart
it’s not laughter or a smile
it has to be that way
a drug that will **** us one day

If you love someone
Someone who may be gone
Or still with you
Someone who gave you life
Someone who knew the truth about you
And still loved you
Even if you hurt them

If you knew someone
Who made you feel safe
Even in your worst form
And moments
If someone loves you like that
You cannot give tribute with words
There is nothing that is their equal
You cannot describe it
You can only feel it
Because nothing equals sadness
Nothing equals grief
Nothing equals life
Nothing equals that kind of love
Nothing
But them

I don’t ask too many questions
At least not that I’m aware
Maybe I do or just maybe I don’t think so
Except that I will if it means something
Like a stranger I’ve come to know

You don’t have to tell me
What you believe is your affair
Perception is when somebody says it’s so
I’ll listen to you even if it’s nothing
I’m not worried about what you know

We can go where the light is quiet
And the darkness loud
All we have to do is let it be so
We’ll avoid the popular crowd
And sing songs in Spanish
About love and tales of woe

I don’t need to know your religion
Or your favorite prayer
It’s not important that you say it’s so
I’ll look into your eyes to find my blessing
And hopefully then I’ll really know

We can go live in the soft climate  
Underneath no dark cloud
We will bury ourselves in the same row
No matter how often it’s been plowed
Our memories will never vanish
Not in the heart of a farmer or a crow

The steps never seem to end
What I see is always there
I can’t quite seem to get it
It doesn’t like to play fair

The usual place for originality
A willing mind and brown walls
You can become a slave to it
A revelation that always calls

It’s been so long
But you began yesterday
Never again
Always the same
You hear the song for you
It’s the only way

She isn’t what you thought
You can’t right your wrongs
It never gets you quite there
Different faces but who belongs

How many faces do you see
As many as see you
Who should look first
The brave ones are few

It’s been so long
But you began yesterday
Never again
Always the same
You hear the song for you
It’s the only way

How can we forget who died trying to make us equal
Somebody said it’s up to you to make it happen
But you don’t know what you would do laying in your crib
Would you make mud out of dirt floors in your mansion?

It wasn’t a made-up soul standing on the corner
Though you thought he was dead in his mother’s womb
She gave birth in a world that didn’t want him to live
But the song he once sang echoes in our own tomb

The voices of the past continue to haunt our thoughts
Yet the dead remain mute leaving us with our own cries
We read their words and wait for a stillborn prophecy’s birth
As the day ends the sun laughs through sacrificial eyes

The floor rises as each page is ripped from the book of life
Who watches while I decide between penance or desires?
What piper would play two songs when only one can be heard?
We await the answer hoping it's the one our heart requires

you should know now what I would say
i cannot be engaged by the ambitions of man
instead
i live inside a song
in front of a painting
wading in the ocean
at the bottom of a water fall
in a state of constant inspiration
by nature
and the spirit of man
feeling only how it came to this
that we cannot overcome our differences
yet in the moment of crescendo
where harmony
and color
and tides
and pools form
it is there that we rise above human form
and become spirit
no longer what the eye may see
or the mind may judge
but instead
only that known to God
for only the truth will survive
and before him we are all the same
yet before each other
we are different
and difference becomes separation
and separation becomes suspicion
and suspicion becomes anger
and anger becomes hate
but my emotions are very close to my words
what do you expect of me
don’t you know by now?

I want to be a man of humility
To speak truth without hesitation
Though holiness I cannot represent
It is instead to seek my liberation
I wear no indication of status
Though I walk head held high
I cannot pretend to be courageous
As I have no cause for which to die
I am no more human than you, or less
And I begin anew as one who cannot lose
Because I am a man of self-respect
To share with you the same as I choose
Let no moment pass without a heartbeat
Hear the drum and feel its echo
For there is to be no shame between us
Whether we live in castles or the ghetto

What we know of ourselves is our measure
But only if we are true to our past
To what temptation would we entreat ourselves
If into our own life are the lies we cast
The forces among us only know to divide
We cannot reach for God without a fight
We cannot see color in the same light
We cannot give to others our own right
That is not where I wish to walk and breathe
Instead it is where the poor live in a new land
It is where they struggle but know how to love
It is their feet I wish to wash with my own hand
There is no purpose other than hope
Not to gather for myself, but instead to spread
But what can I do except drop rocks into a pond
To watch forgiving ripples bring life to what once was dead

It was time to search our souls together
Our eyes knew no other place to look
But then mine wandered away
I wanted to see world one last time
Before I fell in love with you

I stopped when I felt your breath
The distance between us a lifetime
I asked if you were ready
You smiled and said kiss me now
Then you will know if the answer is you

It was no longer a dream
And as we awoke from our slumber
The real world tried to break us apart
But you are the only thing that is real
Your closed eyes told me what was true

It’s so hard to see you now
I finally know what to say
If only I knew it then
But my heart was so wary

The end of the road
Is not where I want to live
The way it all began
Is the memory I carry

I would have said kiss me now
But the battle in my mind
Wouldn’t tell my heart how
I built the wall I finally climbed

Now I want to say I want you
But you can’t see me
You have your own life
There’s no one else to marry

But you’re still my girl
And if you didn’t know
You do now
You do now

I would have said love me now
But the battle in my heart
Was not enough to win
There’s only regret I can find

Crying for yesterday
And if I didn't know
I do now
I do now

I did not understand
The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
I did not understand then
But I understand now

I thought I understood
Thou shalt not ****
But your tongue is driving me from God  
Have you sinned against his will?

I do not understand
The love of life eternal destroys life temporal
In this life we sin to save ourselves
Yet the lamb rose from human betrayal

I will never understand
The weakness of the human mind
A wall of fear surrounding what God made infinite
Made of stone to judge mankind

I want to understand
So I walk alone searching the desert sand slowly
Is it obedience to man I will find
Or the burning conscience of what is holy?

A perfect miracle
Forgiveness you can never give
A perfect blossom
A tree you have never seen
It is all in the mind
It is all we that we ask
To be given the chance to witness
Or give
Perfection
Can it come from the living
But why is the opposite true
A scar upon our back
And upon our heart
Pain too easily felt
Or darkness made from our fears
Why can we not also become light
Or heal our enemy
From the pain they inflicted upon us
For the perfect blossom grows
In the soil of the human heart
And it is ours to plant
If only we knew how

Finding a four-leaf clover
A game you played when you were younger
Laying by your feet
Watered by my tears right outside your door

A lucky penny
Lying next to the curb on the corner
It was in my pocket
A memory that always needed more

Life broke the promise
I didn’t like the reasons
I had to look inside at myself
It’s the only way to find my heart again

A black cat walking
I followed it because now I’m stronger
How can it be
That it does not scare me like before

It’s never too late if we are breathing
But I can’t ask you to change your life

Life broke it’s promise
I had to accept the reasons
I had to look outside myself
It’s the only way to find another friend

I miss the sky
I know it’s above me,
held in place by angels hands;
their wings, fluttering
rearranging the clouds
and our lives

I miss the sunset
I know it’s before me,
painted by surrealistic bristles;
it’s edges, softened
by the hands of a man
who cried last night

I miss your love
I know it’s in me
passing through my heart;
like a lost puppy
waiting for you
to come claim it

We can never touch again
Because there is no room for love
We try to pretend
But it’s something we cannot rise above

We tried to do it
We thought it was an adult situation
But we’re really just kids
We failed to understand emotion

I told you what I could offer
But you deserve so much more
You need a man who loves you
Waiting is not what you asked for

My shadow is cast upon other men
Who approach you with love in their eyes
You silently loom inside all my decisions
As other women wonder if I tell only lies

They want to know where I stand
And I give them the honest truth
It is no closer to love than I am with you
But with you I recapture my youth

We close the door and enter our world
We love each other madly
Poison our bodies
And then part sadly

You beg me to come back
Not understanding how I forget
You pleasure me as no other
And yet I act as if we never met

But I do not forget
I remember
All too well
In my tortured slumber

The vision of your eyes in my mind
With tears of unknowing
How can you give a man so much
And endure his coming and going?

I cannot explain
I cannot commit to you
I cannot commit to anyone
And yet you remain true

How can you believe in me?
How can you see the future
In a man who has no present
And a heart that is never sure?

As the ***** beats the passion play
That only you can hear
I resist the urge
Your pain is my fear

Can you understand
That I hurt you today
So that I won’t hurt you tomorrow
It is uncertainty that lights my way

I keep turning pages
In a book that I cannot put away
The truth of our love hurts so much
But I rip out the pages that betray

I don’t want to read it
It’s about hurting a friend
I wrote your love story
But I don’t know how to write the end

Forgive my lack of courage
I need to tell you goodbye
I keep hoping you will do it first
That way I won’t have to tell you why

I'm looking at the last page
The one that won’t turn
It is your turn to write
Tell me if I should return

Nothing so dead ever smelled so alive
The air full of soft cedar perfume
But where now the bees and their hive
The birds and the trees?
Every one that shaded our walks
Now a grave yard of memories
Cut down in haste before the sun
While the moon witnessed the sin
No light so bright ever felt so glum
Full as love once was young
Resisting the salt of *****
And tears never to be forgotten
To live instead without depth
To wade in shallow ponds
And not beneath the surface
Where our souls silently guide us
Is to allow the past, lying prone
To be trod upon by progress
No, it cannot be so
Where a breeze played alone
And a shadow dodged the sun
No, it cannot be so callous
As to allow its own heart to die
While the body walks away
Empty except for malice
Because for another to atone
Is to not be the comfort parade
For those who beg not to lie
Beg not to watch an eclipse
That can only sing sad songs
That only remind of its own
And how the only home
Remembered as it was made
A life without ever being paid
Only a sanctuary for the afraid
Now the busy dead live among us
And we must allow it to be so
The cross is where the bark fell
The spirit is what I shall tell
For I’ve become a birds nest rising
But it’s not so surprising
As my rhyme wavers once again
I must choose another hole to live
The one I once loved is full
Full like a rising tide
Reaching for its mother
Take me home the ocean cried
For what is left except for you?

If you want to live free
Live free but don’t take free from me
If you want to save
Save yourself but don’t save me
If you want to be ruled
Subject yourself but do not subject me
If you want to change
Change but only I can change me
If you want to be vain
Be vain but don’t point the camera at me
If you want to be shallow
Be shallow but don’t drain the depth in me
If you don’t want to think
Don’t think but then why do you question me
If you are afraid of sin
Sin no more but don't throw rocks at me

How can I say this?

I love you

And you said I was a melting floating piece of ice carrying your soul like a polar bear randomly effected by whim selfishness ego and the inability to connect with anything because I was too cold to give and too temporary to care

But it doesn't mean I don't love you

I can't get you out of my mind

And you said that is because I haven't gotten over the fact that someone wouldn't prefer to live their life as a stranded beautiful example of a dying world solely to be remembered as the one I dragged to their ultimate demise rather than to find someone who knew how to love someone for who they were

So I continue to live alone

Without the people I care about the most

In my time of dying
Will I remember love
Or will I remember you?
I wanted to walk with you
Not knowing our fate
I wanted to kiss you
Hoping your lips would wait
Saving themselves
Not for loves sake
But for a mate
Who was as afraid of forever
As he was of never
Knowing the peril that lay before him
When loves fire becomes distant
Revealing the natural light of friendship
And the truth of our life together
The choice to accept our flaws
And our blind emotions
No matter how small
And no matter how great

she said i can't believe how you've gotten over me
it's because you haven't changed
somehow you got over me when we were in love
and now it's been so long
our memories have changed
still you want me to feel the hurt
but you didn't walk away from a wilting flower
instead I was a rock swarmed by too much rain
you didn't know it then
even at the bottom of a raging river
there is no loss great enough to make me drown
your disappointment in me now is only in yourself
if you cannot destroy someone then what are you?
is that the question you bring to me today?

She was smiling but her head was tilted back
I asked her where she was going?
She said I’m happy but I don’t know what to believe
I told her don’t believe anything
Just believe in yourself

I could love with no strings attached
All she could see was love that was afraid to show
I said we’ll never meet in the middle if you think like that
She said I’m already there, it’s you who won’t let go

Your problem is you like to burn bridges
You’ve crossed so many now they light up the night
I try to keep all my mistakes to myself
Just in case somebody walks the same road I might

I used to pride myself on being to handle my liquor
That was so long ago maybe it means I grew up
I ordered us some red wine
When did I become so cool going out on the town
I just wish my heart could feel the same

I couldn’t love with no strings attached
But I didn’t let my weakness show
She said I was too strong for somebody like that
I said I’m ready for you if only you would let yourself go

I saw you walking
Staring straight ahead
In your wake lay every man
But a common girl you chose to be instead

You lived inside their every eye
A silence that stared to communicate
Your hands clasped in your lap
Instead of riches it is love that you await

The night you wore only your face
Was when you knew your own name
You went into the night unafraid
You decided life was better looking plain

The same light now shines on enemies sworn
For evil has spun the web of the newly born dawn
The world can’t decide who should blow the horn
Between land and sea, frightened clouds are born
But who’s God decides which man will be saved?

No longer enchanted by our appearances
Blonde hair dark skin or man woman differences
We should all be equal no matter our distances
Our colors don’t matter but it makes us all witnesses
We spend too much time passing out the blame

We ripped the carpet up leaving the nails by the wall
The cold concrete felt so good until sun began to fall
We talked about the glass but weren’t sure what we saw
We waited by the phone but the answer decided not to call
It’s only kept us ignorant so we were used to that

You ever talk to a grave digger before the family arrives?
He burns out the hole with a ***** that is still alive
It makes no difference to him who it was or their size
The dimensions are good enough to say our goodbyes
He walks away with nothing left, the same as us

Who said it was time to notice the things that are wrong
Somebody was shocked that they felt they did not belong
You think a poor man is happy that you like his song?
He’d rather you sing it while he eats and drinks all night long
If you won’t take him in then don’t go to the zoo

What kind of insurance is a Bible and a gun next to your bed
You can pray and you can shoot but is that what Jesus said?
I know how it is when you can’t figure out what’s in your head
Some **** for God some for themselves either way he's dead
My nightstand is empty but I know how to sleep at night

I desire peace
but it is knowledge that I prefer
and I will accept pain
if it is truth that I will acquire

I desire love
but it is loyalty standing next to you
and I will be your witness
even if only I know what is true

I desire pleasure
but I will trade honesty for passion
and I will be your friend
instead of you being my possession

I desire beauty
but what I see can wait a little longer
and I will show you patience
instead of pretending to love a stranger

I was discrete when you wanted a show
I gave you a show but you wanted discrete
I was naked when you wanted a suit
I wore a suit but you wanted me naked
I asked you what you wanted
But you didn’t want to know

Surprise me
But she really wanted something else
I had to take the chance
Fifty girls said I guessed
When I should have asked
Fifty girls said I asked
When I should have guessed

I made a record all about you
The guitar was your *******
The drums were your ***
A flute was your red lips
But when you spread your legs
I ****** the needle
And scratched my eyes out

I was dangerous when you wanted safe
I  was safe when you wanted dangerous
I wanted *** when you wanted talk
I wanted talk when you wanted ***
I asked you what you wanted
But you didn’t want to talk about it

Surprise me
But she always wanted something else
I had to take a chance
Fifty girls said I don't like that
When I thought they did
Fifty girls said they liked that
When I thought they didn't

Surprise me
Shock my eyes
Surprise me
Scream into my ears
Surprise me
Ravage my body

I never knew what happened
Until you told  me fifty years later

One day I'm going to spend the next ten years in a bar
Don't ask me to leave or I won't come back
I assume you like my life savings
I'm going to sell my car
I'm going to sell my name
Then I won't have to raise my kids anymore
They'll know where to find me
Burning poems into the table with a Cuban cigar
If they're lucky they won't be embarrassed
If they're lucky they'll get it
But if they're not they'll think being a lawyer is being a star

The distance between real life
and living your fantasies is the distance
between piano lessons and playing by ear;
expression cannot be taught, it must
be lived, bled, left for dead and
brought back alive by the one who knows

The problem with our pain is the why
behind the experience; is there a
redemptive quality like the pursuit
of spiritual growth and humanity or was
it merely fingernails on your back from
someone you’d rather see naked than to
actually get to know them

As soon as you stop being impressed by
anyone you meet you can clear the way
to be who you really are; stop thinking
of what they have done because that
time has already passed; the further from
imitation the closer to originality even
if it take ten years for you to gather
your thoughts

What you have to understand is nobody
is going to tell you a secret that will
change your circumstances; you have to
know that inspiration is lying next to the
man on the next corner that you pass
because that is the meaning of life right
there but did you notice him or were you
instead reading something that somebody
else said

If you want to be a mystic then you have
to stop waiting for proof and instead look
for truth in things that are not apparent
to you such as why your heart beats without
your intervention or why consciousness
is far beyond physical capabilities; but
as soon as you declare yourself to be a mystic
then it’s already lost because it’s not something
you can elect to be

The problem with that way of thinking is
in the eyes of your child; the one who is now
living the moment of true belief in the wonder
of the things that you found to be fleeting
in their love for you; you at least owe it to them
to more than feed them, if you only speak of
the future you will make them like you, a person
who wishes he were a child again

Walking on the side of the freeway in my mind
With our hearts dancing inside a memory
Like a song that takes your breath away
What can you say
But hearing your heart beat
Is something I will never forget

My smile for you is the one that is real
A gift that you will never have to pay back
Even if autumn is lost
All its colors too warm to turn
They wait for the season of their glory
While I wait for you to decide on mine

Let’s just make each other well first
We don’t have to discuss the ending
Or even each page along the way
Being happy is a clear mind
The next step is without pretending
And your embrace is my healing

Every spoken promise has failed
I’m not going to test my faith anymore
Because it only makes my soul weep
I cannot tell myself never again
I cannot tell you to trust me again
Because I know that words are cheap
I can only hope that what is strong
Finds its way through my heart
Before I open my mouth to speak
I can only hope that what I swallow
Only gives me the power to be true
And not the temptation to be weak

Mystic seagull, flying close to the water
Your reflection, hidden beneath your wing
Though we watch, it’s only you that can see
From where we came, there is no other light
What we believe is wrong, what you know is right

White winged shaman, your sails fill the air
All your memories, you place upon the shore
What we hear, the roar of oceans in our ears
Only the misting air understands crashing waves
Can you tell me the secrets of my coming days?

In the days of tides that washed my soul
And breezes that would always blow
We would always remember
How the land would always know
Unspoken sentiment poured itself out
Through eyes that can only see
The things that we love the most
But are unable to speak or conceive

Bird once in flight, light upon my shoulder
Speaking in tongues, happy only to be
Casting about, holding only what you need
When you held them, a kiss made them believe
To carry us with you, only fear could ever grieve

When I look at you it is what you know that I want
We shared what truth only makes with a sound
You said meet me where salt meets the land
Only shells know where hearts could be found

In the days of tides that washed my soul
And breezes that would always blow
We would always remember
How the land would always know
Unspoken sentiment poured itself out
Through eyes that can only see
The things that we love the most
But are unable to speak or conceive

I don’t have to watch a movie to find a wasteland
I know it exists because I’ve driven through one
I saw a poor woman feed her child on a bridge
And heard a preacher who loved the wrong son

I don’t have to watch
I don’t have to watch
I can just live it myself
What we choose is all we know

I don’t have to watch a movie to know sorrow
I know it exists because I’m still heartbroken
I saw love beside my pillow where our eyes met
And now I see through the memories once spoken

I don’t have to watch
I don’t have to watch
I can just live it myself
What I chose is all I remember

I don’t have to watch a movie to see a tear fall
I know it exists because the scars are on the inside
I saw the time that once shown like the sun
And now passes like rain that washed away my bride

I don’t have to watch
I don’t have to watch
I can just live it myself
I can just live it myself
What I chose is all I am now
What I chose is all I am now

Young man
You act so world weary
But what do you know about life
Was it your mother or your father
Maybe it was your friends

Young man
You’re too young to be tired
They haven’t taken it from you yet
There is so much time left
Is there something you need to say

How much time do you need
I can’t tell you the answer
But if you need any time at all
Then you’ll never start
Because what you could never be
Is a book written by your heart

Young man
I can’t see your broken mind
Did you think wisdom was pain
You can’t pretend to be crying
If you’re looking for meaning

Young man
There’s nothing sacred about defeat
You heard a preacher that you rejected
You became a tale of locked coffins
Salvation was not pleasing to you

How much truth do you need
I can’t tell you the answer
But if faith is a fools game to you
Then you’ll never know
Because what you could never be
Is a book written by your soul

It does not require riches to smile
Or poverty to cry
It does not require a fool to make you laugh
Or a wise man to make you think
For whatever it is you believe
The next person you meet may change your mind
And the next heart beat you hear
May change your life

What's on my mind?

Change
Change in me
Change in how I see

To see color
and to see love
not hate

To see history
and to accept truth
no matter what it is

To see suffering
and to suffer too
for that is empathy

To see happiness
to be happy for them
and not be jealous

To see life
to accept my choices
and not blame others

To see you
and to understand
as I ask of you

To see human
and respect their life
and not be afraid

To see a book
and to believe in grace
for faith is all I have

He was lost at what he couldn’t see,
seemingly adrift
It was a dream that couldn’t sleep,
something he missed
The time had passed to think anymore,
it was a time to feel
Like women dancing for men,
he which part was real
The third person detachment failed him,
but someone else’s story felt better
He read once that travel was like love,
but he lost the letter
It was only what he could remember,
and what she once asked
What he couldn’t bury below frozen ground,
he hid behind his mask

"The poor are always getting F'd over by the rich. Always have, always will"

Platoon

"The poor will always be among us."

Jesus

what a new year cannot change is left in your hands
change is within you  
and to those who are affected by your life
it is your gift to them
but if you choose to remain in this world
remove the hands from the clock that struck midnight
nail shut the door
so that the bird that sings of new day
can no longer speak

You made your bed
You wouldn't listen to me
You didn't ask the mirror either
You answered your own question
You're the fairest one of all
And I wasn't the one who could reach you
So pull the covers up tight over your head
Accept the darkness

You cry perfectly
I had to watch
It was so beautiful
Your sadness was so you

It was the end
We both knew it
And what was next
Looking for someone new

I won’t forget
The feeling you made
I can’t leave it behind
The remains of what’s true

Your tears so deep
But you wiped them away
Your smile was your revenge
That’s when I knew

There is nothing left
Only to know the past
Walking away from sorrow
I watched a bird that flew

it took his entire life
and a second
as with anything that happened a moment ago
or at least just before
high fashion became not the world
why look?
sanity slowed his gait before decision
there was nothing he needed
a deliberately paced piano foretold the past
it made him feel strange
everyone was doomed but he already knew
so why think of them?
it was only about how, when and why
that is why he grew quiet
as if it mattered to a stranger washing his face
they would never meet
he lost his voice while speaking in obscenities
it served him right
his suits hung loudly while his jeans lay quietly
as did his black shoes and sneakers
a future promise would no longer be negotiable
withhold it until the right time
a still-born breeze waited by the door
she could only wonder
he liked her but didn’t ask her for anything
the obligation was too overwhelming
he wasn’t looking for another intoxication
it was time to be a baby again
to allow what was necessary required innocence
not to attract opposites
interaction became optional as was isolation
a prerequisite controls direction
blinding light prevents outside interference
ear shattering sound for dismay
every sense is a matter of knowledge
until it is overwhelmed
to cleanse is to see because nothing exists
it is not peace
it is the destruction of memory and reason
to be like a baby
crying for something it cannot request
you could climb a mountain
but to what end does the depth exist?
nature of that scope must remain
you could read the same book every day
but do you want to be a robot?
it is not necessary to recite a creed or rosary
ritual only revives torment
but its form is worse than the original
to shock yourself by complete withdrawal from convention
but not to protest
it is to know that every conversation was once yours
as is every car that passes
when the landing gear retracts beneath you
that is when you will know
metal ***** that click together are no longer important
only the ability to see what is true
waking up in a different bed in a different land
it is the same
no culture to defend no God that is afraid
no cynicism
only the desire to be as you were intended
it is the moment
you need to be told because you are waiting
stop waiting in the lobby
if the elevator does not work
take the stairs
if the stairs are filled with people huddled together
ignore the storm
the piano is playing as your heart keeps time
the hands the reaches for you
reveals that the piano plays involuntarily
like your heart
it knows what to do in order to survive
but what would you have it do
in order to begin again
most likely a guard dog must give chase intending to ****
it is time not to care for trends
it is time not to be judged by those you do not know
for fear is the blinding light
and confusion the ear shattering sound
but to know the moment before
is to know that you waited all your life
for this to happen
it is your chance if you will only care to try
nobody has to know
only you
if only you would get out of your own way

My dreams can’t imagine anything more than you
And I can’t wait to sleep with you on my mind tonight
If I can’t have you now I’ll wait for another day
But you are always my girl when I turn out the light

I thought about missing you so much
My dreams aren’t really about anything new
But that’s why they are better than a fantasy
Because what I dream about is what I know about you

I can’t imagine anything more real than you
That’s why a dream can never be a memory
The only thing that matters is the way you are
And now I can only dream to forget my misery

I wanted to turn you into a song that made someone cry
It is the only way to make my way to another day
But the melody is only something that I can hear
And the way it makes me feel is the way you make it play

There are many moods
Some ****** upon me
I wish not to exploit or indulge anger
Instead I will wait
For it is the philosophical man
Created by time and distance
Who will know the right thing to say

Would that I preach solely from a book
Or live by my heart
Would that I demand a promise for a vote
Or live by my heart
Would that I judge without judging myself
Or live by my heart
Would that I scorn the life I do not know
Or live by my heart

Away from darkness
So you may choose
The truth is your friend
Make yourself incorruptible
Confront your desires
Acknowledge your blessings
Knowledge is kindness and love
All else is time passing you by