How can we forget who died trying to make us equal
Somebody said it’s up to you to make it happen
But you don’t know what you would do laying in your crib
Would you make mud out of dirt floors in your mansion?

It wasn’t a made-up soul standing on the corner
Though you thought he was dead in his mother’s womb
She gave birth in a world that didn’t want him to live
But the song he once sang echoes in our own tomb

The voices of the past continue to haunt our thoughts
Yet the dead remain mute leaving us with our own cries
We read their words and wait for a stillborn prophecy’s birth
As the day ends the sun laughs through sacrificial eyes

The floor rises as each page is ripped from the book of life
Who watches while I decide between penance or desires?
What piper would play two songs when only one can be heard?
We await the answer hoping it's the one our heart requires

I don’t have to tell you what you mean to me
Because my roots extend all through your life
You can feel the way I draw upon the water
And drop my anchor where love slays strife

Where the soil parts my thoughts become yours
I grow inside the shadows and light of the forest
And though I may be what someone else can see
You are the space where my soul is nourished

But every second I exist within you creates a new life
That is where I find the meaning to live another day
Not in falling leaves that bury memories of yesterday
For my heart is only felt where my roots forever lay

it took his entire life
and a second
as with anything that happened a moment ago
or at least just before
high fashion became not the world
why look?
sanity slowed his gait before decision
there was nothing he needed
a deliberately paced piano foretold the past
it made him feel strange
everyone was doomed but he already knew
so why think of them?
it was only about how, when and why
that is why he grew quiet
as if it mattered to a stranger washing his face
they would never meet
he lost his voice while speaking in obscenities
it served him right
his suits hung loudly while his jeans lay quietly
as did his black shoes and sneakers
a future promise would no longer be negotiable
withhold it until the right time
a still-born breeze waited by the door
she could only wonder
he liked her but didn’t ask her for anything
the obligation was too overwhelming
he wasn’t looking for another intoxication
it was time to be a baby again
to allow what was necessary required innocence
not to attract opposites
interaction became optional as was isolation
a prerequisite controls direction
blinding light prevents outside interference
ear shattering sound for dismay
every sense is a matter of knowledge
until it is overwhelmed
to cleanse is to see because nothing exists
it is not peace
it is the destruction of memory and reason
to be like a baby
crying for something it cannot request
you could climb a mountain
but to what end does the depth exist?
nature of that scope must remain
you could read the same book every day
but do you want to be a robot?
it is not necessary to recite a creed or rosary
ritual only revives torment
but its form is worse than the original
to shock yourself by complete withdrawal from convention
but not to protest
it is to know that every conversation was once yours
as is every car that passes
when the landing gear retracts beneath you
that is when you will know
metal ***** that click together are no longer important
only the ability to see what is true
waking up in a different bed in a different land
it is the same
no culture to defend no God that is afraid
no cynicism
only the desire to be as you were intended
it is the moment
you need to be told because you are waiting
stop waiting in the lobby
if the elevator does not work
take the stairs
if the stairs are filled with people huddled together
ignore the storm
the piano is playing as your heart keeps time
the hands the reaches for you
reveals that the piano plays involuntarily
like your heart
it knows what to do in order to survive
but what would you have it do
in order to begin again
most likely a guard dog must give chase intending to ****
it is time not to care for trends
it is time not to be judged by those you do not know
for fear is the blinding light
and confusion the ear shattering sound
but to know the moment before
is to know that you waited all your life
for this to happen
it is your chance if you will only care to try
nobody has to know
only you
if only you would get out of your own way

The distance between real life
and living your fantasies is the distance
between piano lessons and playing by ear;
expression cannot be taught, it must
be lived, bled, left for dead and
brought back alive by the one who knows

The problem with our pain is the why
behind the experience; is there a
redemptive quality like the pursuit
of spiritual growth and humanity or was
it merely fingernails on your back from
someone you’d rather see naked than to
actually get to know them

As soon as you stop being impressed by
anyone you meet you can clear the way
to be who you really are; stop thinking
of what they have done because that
time has already passed; the further from
imitation the closer to originality even
if it take ten years for you to gather
your thoughts

What you have to understand is nobody
is going to tell you a secret that will
change your circumstances; you have to
know that inspiration is lying next to the
man on the next corner that you pass
because that is the meaning of life right
there but did you notice him or were you
instead reading something that somebody
else said

If you want to be a mystic then you have
to stop waiting for proof and instead look
for truth in things that are not apparent
to you such as why your heart beats without
your intervention or why consciousness
is far beyond physical capabilities; but
as soon as you declare yourself to be a mystic
then it’s already lost because it’s not something
you can elect to be

The problem with that way of thinking is
in the eyes of your child; the one who is now
living the moment of true belief in the wonder
of the things that you found to be fleeting
in their love for you; you at least owe it to them
to more than feed them, if you only speak of
the future you will make them like you, a person
who wishes he were a child again

Remove the ocean salt from my eyes
So I may petal the flower in my heart
Then I will build a castle to preserve
The true in love while you are away

Remove the doubt from my faith
So I may know instead of believe
Then I will walk as sure as I breathe
Always knowing to whom it is I pray

Remove the perfection of my desires
So I may no longer assume my own
Then I will walk in bare feet before you
So you may know that I will always stay

My dreams can’t imagine anything more than you
And I can’t wait to sleep with you on my mind tonight
If I can’t have you now I’ll wait for another day
But you are always my girl when I turn out the light

I thought about missing you so much
My dreams aren’t really about anything new
But that’s why they are better than a fantasy
Because what I dream about is what I know about you

I can’t imagine anything more real than you
That’s why a dream can never be a memory
The only thing that matters is the way you are
And now I can only dream to forget my misery

I wanted to turn you into a song that made someone cry
It is the only way to make my way to another day
But the melody is only something that I can hear
And the way it makes me feel is the way you make it play

I never knew
How ***** my blood was,
Until I mingled it,
With your own.
I thought
What ran through my veins,

Was pure,
But black became clear,
When you left me alone.

I didn’t want you to leave,

But it was obvious,
You were going to run...
You took away
My driving force,
And the seeds were planted
For what must be done.

I had to ride on,
******* and lost.

What I carried
Inside of me...

Was gone
I knew what to do,

But I was exhausted.
All I had,

Was the chance
To prove you wrong.

I finally betrayed myself to you.
It took one more no
To make me strong
There wasn’t enough hate,
To show me the way home.
So I let cold springs,
Prepare the place,

Where I belong...

It’s wet sand
in the wrong places
There is an undertow
only I can see
I paint the walls
different colors
Anything really
As long as it’s not yesterday’s dream

But who am I
trying to be
I’m just another person
walking alone
I wonder what
I could say
Nothing really
My heart doesn’t know what it means

I thought I built
something to last
But nobody can tell you for how long
It’s too late
to find another place
I can only live with what went wrong

It’s only colors I never thought could grow
How they got here only I will ever know

I need a place
where to belong
So I tried
to make things right
But how to live
in the right time
Anytime really
It never matters as much as it seems  

I thought I built
something to last
But nobody can tell you for how long
It’s too late
to find another place
I can only live with what I did wrong

It’s only colors I never thought could grow
How they got here only I will ever know

I never did see it coming
It was as if she had no mother or father
Like dew that only lives in the morning
Or the tears she tried to deny
Our life together never felt like water rushing

I never did know you were leaving
It was as if I had no future or past
Like a sunset is only for wishing
Or how sorrow can only say goodbye
Our love was only what we were missing

I never did know you were crying
It was as if I had no mind or heart
Like an old man forgetting
Or yesterday’s blue sky
Our love was gone before I started trying

I never thought I’d stop living
It’s as if I died or just gave up
Like polite elevator conversing
Or closing the door alone at night
Our love is now just me remembering

to care only for the poor,
without compromise;
the idealism of the ages,
the easiest of all politics;
we must sacrifice no matter what;
but who said,
the poor will always be with us;
a man who was heartless
or was he wise?
is the reality of the present,
our cynicism of their plight
or is their struggle
the measure of our hearts in his sight;
is their pain assuaged
by our actions or even in our words?
still we struggle on our own;
our own horizons as far as we can manage,
while we think of a beautiful memory,
distracted by the past,
we hope the leaves have fallen at last
and wait for them to return
but they will only fall again;
like the tide that reaches for the land
or prayers for the things we must;
they will always be with us

There is never a chapter to write
When your life is not a book
What you choose to reveal is easy
If only they knew where to look

The high place of mountain tops
Or depths where ships are graved
Are no match for what I cannot see
But know that discovery has saved

I’m ready to know
What is inside
And how far to go

While birds fly
And flowers grow
What I am now
Is neither above or below

In the veins of my mistakes
The fascination of you drowns alone
I thought to find you but myself I am lost
Except I know exactly where I have gone

I’m ready to know
What is inside
And how far to go

While birds fly
And flowers grow
What I am now
Is neither above or below

There is no gentle tragedy
Or horrible calm
But where we ask our questions
Is the answer to where we belong

I miss the sky
I know it’s above me,
held in place by angels hands;
their wings, fluttering
rearranging the clouds
and our lives

I miss the sunset
I know it’s before me,
painted by surrealistic bristles;
it’s edges, softened
by the hands of a man
who cried last night

I miss your love
I know it’s in me
passing through my heart;
like a lost puppy
waiting for you
to come claim it

The more we’re told the less we care
I want to be good but it's still a long way there
There’s nothing a man in power won't do
But I give him more because he told me to blame you
He’ll say the things some of us want to hear
But first he had to check which one of us to fear
He could stay on the left or right
It doesn’t matter as long as he knows which side to fight

Ma never worried how our world lost its way
She just loved us and left the rest for someone else to say
We knew we should be sleeping
But we didn’t want to spoil all our dreams with our weeping
The shaking hands of a peaceful man
Was the witnessed horror of who had to **** when the war began
For every sacrifice that was forgotten
Unmerited glory squanders the living humility of God’s garden

We look to poets for the meaning
The legacy of the dead is all that we are feeling
We look to painters for the honor
The legacy of the dead is painted upon a silk banner
We look to singers for the despair
The legacy of the dead is heard in the wailing air
We leave it to others to describe it
While we search our hearts so we know how to live it

We pray not unto our enemies
Will we fall from the height of our spirit to worship pennies
We pray not unto the wicked
Will we follow but instead unto goodness will we be lifted
We pray not unto an early death
Will we succumb ourselves until we witness Lazurus’ breath
We pray not unto a living hell
Will we burn without the assurance of men striking God's bell

The more we know the less we believe
They say don’t worry about yesterday, tomorrows up our sleeve
They pull hope out like a magic show
We’re so amazed it doesn’t matter what we will never know
They can almost say no wrong
And even if they do, time will save them, it never takes too long
A lifetime of service and a statue
But life remains the same for those that the marble never knew

If you want to live free
Live free but don’t take free from me
If you want to save
Save yourself but don’t save me
If you want to be ruled
Subject yourself but do not subject me
If you want to change
Change but only I can change me
If you want to be vain
Be vain but don’t point the camera at me
If you want to be shallow
Be shallow but don’t drain the depth in me
If you don’t want to think
Don’t think but then why do you question me
If you are afraid of sin
Sin no more but don't throw rocks at me

Heed me well
Don’t clear my name
I’m the feather that fell
I’m the one to blame

Don’t ask me why
Or about the weather
How would I know
I’m just a falling feather

It’s taken a long time for this moment
I’m about to know what it means to arrive
I’d rather it fly on with the rest of them
My past doesn’t need me to survive

How much do you need to know?
I’ve already found comfort in the pillow of the wind

My past doesn’t need me to live on
As I fall through the rain
And the sun
I can take it as it comes
Anything that happens
It’s already been considered
When you’re falling
You know somewhere you’re gonna’ land

I thought I was a bird
But I know I’m not that now
Flying or falling, what’s the difference?
Either way, only a feather knows how

Don't waste time pretending
How are you going to be you
Don't try to prove anything
How will you free your mind
Don't be so sure of yourself
How will you learn something new
Don't be afraid to need someone
How will you fall in love with me
Don't be so hard for me to touch
How will I lay my head on your heart

I don’t know what to tell you my son
The fire has started and it’s a hot one
The past is about to be undone
We once wanted to learn from it
Now we’re erasing the song they sung
You may have to ask yourself why
And if you can’t understand
Then ask a man who was hung

The storm will pass
Just like the last one
But what will it leave behind?

You can’t change the color of your skin
The way it was worn once was a sin
It’s up to you to decide where history will begin
You had nothing to do with it
You’re innocent but the gallows bell is heard again
Their anger is a tormented man’s cry
And if we can’t understand
Ask if marble eyes have a soul within

The storm will pass
Just like the next one
But what new world will we find?

He was lost at what he couldn’t see,
seemingly adrift
It was a dream that couldn’t sleep,
something he missed
The time had passed to think anymore,
it was a time to feel
Like women dancing for men,
he which part was real
The third person detachment failed him,
but someone else’s story felt better
He read once that travel was like love,
but he lost the letter
It was only what he could remember,
and what she once asked
What he couldn’t bury below frozen ground,
he hid behind his mask

So many times I’ve been told I wasn’t making us happy; so
many times I knew I was losing her even as she tried to save us,
she was sending a home my way but I couldn’t live inside
something I could never understand

How could I know what she wanted when I didn’t know how
to live with who I was; how could I feel the things she held dear
when the lands I carried on my mind were nothing of the sort
that a dream of another could reach?

I was painting my future inside my heart and letting it flow
in my veins coloring my skin in shades that were never revealed
because the air outside was someone else’s paradise where
she could walk choosing which star to leave me for

You and I have lived an entire love story in my mind; you were
everything I wanted and you smiled because you knew I was happy,
but is happiness only about me; I wanted to think of you as my
girl but you thought that meant I only wanted to hear you whisper
my name in the night

I didn’t know what to ask
You didn’t know how to tell
The days of certainty have changed
All we can find is a wishing well
It’s deep enough for time to pass
And we know how long ago we fell
Because we’ve not yet hit bottom
We live between heaven and hell
The sounds echoing all around
Is the world inside our shell
From the ocean you so love
To the heart you’d never sell
That is why I fell for you my love
But is it my hello or your farewell?

When I look back
I know I was crazy
The things I did just to love you
Are things I can’t believe are true

I was climbing out of windows
And locking doors behind me
It was me escaping
But it was you I was chasing

Memory  Memory  Memory

If you can remember
Whatever you’ve found
Is not what I’m about
You’re walking ahead
Never looking back
But feeling my eyes
What your heart wants
Is what it felt with me
We took so many chances
And I’d do it again
We learned the hard way
Love wants a crazy life

Now I don’t have the key
But if you were a locked door
You once opened it willingly
Now I can't believe what you’re telling me

Going out on my own
Playing it back in my head
It’s just songs I’m hearing now
I once knew, now I don’t know how

If you can remember
Whatever you’ve found
Is not what I’m about
You’re walking ahead
Never looking back
But feeling my eyes

What your heart wants
Is what it felt with me
We took so many chances
And I’d do it again
We learned the hard way
Falling in love is a crazy life

What your heart wants
Is what it felt with me
We took so many chances
And I’d do it again
We learned the hard way
True love is a crazy life

Memory  Memory  Memory

How impressed must you be
I didn’t think that was how two people share a life
I saw you raising a glass again
Are you looking for something or running from it?

If it’s so important
Then why are you afraid of me
It’s not that I’m not good enough
It’s that you no longer believe in you

How holy are your thoughts of you?
God told you he would forgive you
You’re afraid of what I might do to you?
What road could I lose you on that he cannot find?

It seems every word I’ve thought of falls short
I wonder how long you will wait for me to get it right
Sweeping someone off their feet is not so easy
You want what’s sure but love can only say what might

How holy are my thoughts of you?
God told you me would forgive you
I’m afraid of what I might do to you
What road could I find you on that he won’t mind?

The sky is black but there is no rain
It seems I’m only waiting to lose someone else
I watch as you grieve and thought of how it would feel
The river is dry but not the pain
Are you in a silent rage?
There’s a book and God turned a page
It was the one written about her
Who would want you to miss someone so much
It’s the same story about life
We are not soldiers but we watch people die
The fire raining down upon us cannot be seen
But we can feel the fear
The test of our survival is either true or a lie
The reason seems to be of no concern
No matter, it is our condition Lord
The new love we sent to you is a good reason to cry

"The poor are always getting F'd over by the rich. Always have, always will"

Platoon

"The poor will always be among us."

Jesus

what a new year cannot change is left in your hands
change is within you  
and to those who are affected by your life
it is your gift to them
but if you choose to remain in this world
remove the hands from the clock that struck midnight
nail shut the door
so that the bird that sings of new day
can no longer speak

What's on my mind?

Change
Change in me
Change in how I see

To see color
and to see love
not hate

To see history
and to accept truth
no matter what it is

To see suffering
and to suffer too
for that is empathy

To see happiness
to be happy for them
and not be jealous

To see life
to accept my choices
and not blame others

To see you
and to understand
as I ask of you

To see human
and respect their life
and not be afraid

To see a book
and to believe in grace
for faith is all I have

No matter my smile or good cheer
The light cannot penetrate the depths of your long night of tears
It is not for me to exist in the darkness
But instead to bring you to the surface
From winter’s freezing
To spring’s thawing
Words you’ve heard before
Pretty and nothing more
But the depths where you learned to hold your breath
Are where poets and painters drown in a lonely death
Where hearts break into singular pieces like an arpeggio
The alternating silence of humility and the pain inside your ego
Let my whispers carry the weight of  the ocean you created
The rivers that flow from inside you have left your heart naked
But what I might not understand about why
I can trouble your sorrows long enough for you to see the sky

I said, “I will make my own way”
Across the stolid path’s worn pages
Where the flakes of my burned skin
Spurned the fire that laid them to dry
I tried to find the distance safely away
From the anguish of false sages
Who by their own actions weaken
Their beliefs without knowing why

As sure as the sea, an eternal voice
Must you erode the sand of my choice
The shores that line the hearts edge
Are all that is left of loves pledge
Your fears of your own mortality
Destroyed the life we held dearly

I need someone with all the nerve of New Orleans
Wearing pants in church and a dress at the beach
A cigarette before work but only a smile when she drinks
There’s always two sides to her and I’ll take one of each

I know she would make love to my best friend
Her pride is as long as the memory she’s trying to forget
She told me she wasn’t going to be easy anymore
I had my chance once so I have to act like we just met

I know you
I know how it can be
You’re always around
But love to you isn’t something for free

That jazz piano from 1942 was singing about you
You’d live with a man you knew you’d never marry
It was better drinking with someone only you could hurt
You ignore fate because you know what it is already

You know me
You know how it can be
I’m always going to be around
Love to me is a girl in a dress walking by the sea

Uninvited though I may be
The butterflies were not to be led astray
Dancing upon low-cut flowers
They knew to avoid my footsteps
Their work was of far greater importance
My presence was of no consequence

My heart sheathed no sword
The sun baptized my bare skin
As I continued forward in silence
Solitude granted me clear conscience
For in nature vanity is not the soul of flowers
And wealth is not the seed for its life

It is in my word that I find what is left of me
Though temptation remains like a rusty nail
Holding fast with memories of the initial blow
Foolish and incomplete thoughts mark each step
But a man alone without a judge can see
As stones never to be thrown guide his way

It is not the calm of discovery that fuels my expression,
but the fury of shedding the tightly wound cocoon I didn’t ask for,
knowing that I will not have wings once I set myself free;
knowing the climate is not for an indigenous refugee in his own world;
knowing I may be eaten alive the moment I open my eyes;
by predators who neither appreciate my troubles, or
the fact that I am aware of their existence

They didn’t expect to see me so soon; a lamb is supposed to die young,
or at least degenerate into a bitter fool who can only reach for a bottle,
his cigarettes and pictures in some magazine of lipstick masquerading as lips

How can words be so black that you dismiss them though they breathe as you do?

It’s never going to be comfortable to make you feel the way I do;
except possibly the moment you realize you were strapped to a gurney too;  but it’s only because nobody can understand you anymore; why should you care?

The world is moving too fast for the one’s living in the comfort
of their own insults and views of a world they have dimmed
by shooting illuminated silk fabric bags that ask questions nobody
cares to hear anymore because they have already decided that
what a man has on his table is either of his own choosing or what
he deserves

Is change only for malleable children who listen intently to those who have given up?

You gave it away before you knew you had it; they wanted you to think like them; and because you love them you had no choice; but now that you do you find the darkness that clings to you more comforting than crackling bones who do not wish to walk above ground for they have become accustomed to the feeling of not feeling anything because alliteration is not a word for artists but instead the way those who have given up describe vapid, languid submission because it is easier to suffer quietly than to be ridiculed for thinking otherwise

But these things are not relevant if we cannot share them yet we are so far apart; so I must make them hurt; the words must penetrate into your cloth skin because you do not know that it can be removed; and when you feel what I tell you, do not cry or if you must then know that I have already cried and the river of my awakening has not yet crested; there is room for you my friend; listen not for direction or guidance; but instead for purpose and free will

You forgot about that didn’t you?

You can make a new mistake; but it will be your own for who has not almost suffered their own death being born into another world?

The judgments of man are for their own benefit and as soon as they destroy you they will forget you; make them remember and soon they will fear themselves; because they will now know that their own darkness cannot extinguish the darkness that you wish to explore; your darkness; the darkness that may be light in the world that awaits your courageous journey

When will you begin?

If somebody asks why you said it that way
It's because that's who you are
That's the show they don't even have to pay to see
It's free and they should thank you instead
Because they heard the truth for once

If somebody thinks you're weird
You should thank them for saying that
It means they've never met anyone like you
You are a different world and they don't understand
Because they heard a language only you can speak

If somebody thinks you're too intense
It's because they're not ready for you
If it's meant to be they'll catch up someday
There is no point in waiting for them
If they want it bad enough they'll make it happen

If someone wonders how you do it
It's because you're not afraid to speak of it
The depths of your fears and rejection
You no longer worry who knows that you are human
Because crying out loud is from the truth you know

I've got one more life
It's doesn't matter how long
Only that it's true
I don't care if I feel bad
I don't care if I feel sad

I've got one more life
It's because I'm still around
And that's what I came to know
I don't care how long
As long as it's not wrong

It may be my own way of living
I just know that I'm not alone
I just know that I'm not alone

I've got one more life
It's because I figured it out
Nothing matters anymore
I don't care about the past
I don't care about living fast

I've got one more life
It's the only one left
It's the one that's me
I don't care how long
As long as it's not wrong

It may be my own way of living
I just know that I'm not alone
I just know that I'm not alone

There is nothing for me to say
There is nothing for me to do
Because what's left is to listen
And reach my hand out to you

It may be my own way of living
I just know I'm not alone
I just know I'm not alone

Hey you underneath that hat
I just want to know
Why are you looking at me like that
I’m not gonna’ ask
I don’t want to put you on the spot
But I’ve sent enough hints
For the other shoe to drop

Hey you always walking away
I just want to know
What kind of man makes you stay
I’ll never know
Unless I start acting different
But I have to be who I am
Not always against the current

Hey you waiting for another day
I just want to know
How long do we have left to pray?
It’s too easy to be alone
Beauty is cold in the shade  
A broken heart before we meet
Is not why you were made

Hey you playing in my head
I just want to know
When will you be in my arms instead
I like to think about it
But I need you closer now
Why can’t we just say yes
Is it that we don't know how?

There are many moods
Some ****** upon me
I wish not to exploit or indulge anger
Instead I will wait
For it is the philosophical man
Created by time and distance
Who will know the right thing to say

Would that I preach solely from a book
Or live by my heart
Would that I demand a promise for a vote
Or live by my heart
Would that I judge without judging myself
Or live by my heart
Would that I scorn the life I do not know
Or live by my heart

Away from darkness
So you may choose
The truth is your friend
Make yourself incorruptible
Confront your desires
Acknowledge your blessings
Knowledge is kindness and love
All else is time passing you by

I have more than one life
Instead of all of it being the same
I won’t regret what’s to come
I’ve decided to tell you how much I love you
But first I need sleep on the bottom of a pool

Everything is organized
Every problem, every gift I have
Always together but waiting its turn
I’ve decided to tell you more than you tell me
But first I need to jump out of a boat for a swim

I can do it
I can set the sun
I can draw the tide
I can do it
I can conquer my pride
I don’t care if I say it first
I don’t care if I say it first

Something simple is easy
A kiss a smile some flowers for you
Put them all together and it’s a song
I know it’s true it’s the one I played for you

I’m not going to ask you why
I know why because it’s the same for me
I forgot what it was like to be nervous
I’ve decided that it’s good to not be so sure
But first I need to wring a towel out on my head

I can do it
I can set the sun
I can draw the tide
I can do it
I can conquer my pride
I don’t care if I say it first
I don’t care if I say it first

Young man
You act so world weary
But what do you know about life
Was it your mother or your father
Maybe it was your friends

Young man
You’re too young to be tired
They haven’t taken it from you yet
There is so much time left
Is there something you need to say

How much time do you need
I can’t tell you the answer
But if you need any time at all
Then you’ll never start
Because what you could never be
Is a book written by your heart

Young man
I can’t see your broken mind
Did you think wisdom was pain
You can’t pretend to be crying
If you’re looking for meaning

Young man
There’s nothing sacred about defeat
You heard a preacher that you rejected
You became a tale of locked coffins
Salvation was not pleasing to you

How much truth do you need
I can’t tell you the answer
But if faith is a fools game to you
Then you’ll never know
Because what you could never be
Is a book written by your soul

eyes to the sky in wonder;
that which is without united us within,
if only for a moment to remember;
neither born of blessing or sin,
excepting the forbearance of our differences
by the flight of the shadowed fire fly;
and that it could be done in these troubled times,
no matter it’s haste in passing us by

I never felt rejected
That's not how losing something makes you feel
You are the one to blame
You should have known the things people steal
I never felt less
That's not the reason I'm sad today
I let you down
But I never believed you could walk away
It was my own ego
You tried to tell me that I didn't believe in you
I thought I was the one
Yet another man taught me that was not true
Now I know why
And the fields that I wander have grown high
That is where I am lost
That is where a hello becomes a goodbye

She was always afraid to be alone
And it was for this reason
That men were drawn to her door
You can’t see her fears
You just know they are deeper than your own
And it’s a sad man who uses her
To make himself feel strong

Just below the surface
Are things we cannot know
We sense their presence
But not how deep they go
We spend so much time denying
What it is that we cannot see
Even though we know they are there

There is so much to reveal
And though we know ourselves
Somehow we don’t know it all
We search for our gifts
And yet what we are unable to achieve
Are in the things in which we believe
We are unable to revel beyond a moment
Because of the depths we fail to explore

In our noisy explosions of the failure to control ourselves
We allow the frustrations of a lifetime appear
And then we are judged by those who still remain calm
For their day has not arrived to ask for forgiveness
For being a human
For being afraid
For not being able to hold their breath
Longer than two minutes
Only to turn back
While the depths of who they are remain still

We put too much value on the past
It can stain us or sustain us
But it is gone and we allow it to exist
It becomes a dream that we summon
Either to prove ourselves
Or to make ourselves feel unworthy
For even in pain what is familiar is comfortable
And what man would live on faith when he has a past?

What will you do with the love you lost?
She is still afraid of the dark even though she loves another
Can he protect her from man?
Or from the ghosts in her womb?
For she gives birth to her fears with every sunset
And as she drowns herself in the same cup
Her lover feels lost because though he can make her smile
He cannot make her sleep soundly

And name me a time of when
The reasons have passed
To look at me now
Is to see a mistaken reflection

I realized I don't have any pictures
I thought a sunset took care of it's own
You can find it wherever you are
But not someone who meant to leave

I only wanted to feel you deep in my heart
The only way was to be the forest itself
Not living to look at the past as a wisp
But taking a chance with the lightening

I can't say anything being about my girl
Is that only for times when we were young?
It's that I want to carry you up the stairs
Who can say when but I know I can

Who would willingly live in the shadows,
except sadness and shame
Something changed their nature
The ruins of a past life, eclipsed,
by a story they refuse to tell

But the shadow is once again, alive;
drawing you near
It is your weakness that is strong; enough
to give you a life of meaning
And so to light you bid farewell

No reflection to guide your conscience,
only your lessons
You  gave fortitude away; in its place,
rationalization and suspicion,
within the walls of an abandoned shell

But there is a tree that remains, where
shadows exhaust themselves
It is in every memory of the heart, alone,
but ready for harvest; look upon it
and by its light God will make you well

A rock glancing across a pond
thrown before we knew who
would care to set our life in motion

How long before the last leap forward?

When and how
The only questions that remain
When… and how

The questions, never asked within
the pleasure of my own flesh, even
as it aged slowly by the currents
that guided the rock, became nearer
as clear waters revealed where I
might come to rest

But now, when fear of loss looms
along with what I can feel but
cannot control, the question of
when becomes that of how
for what accompanies my fears
now is the pain inside those
who would love me for the
mere fact of my existence
and my love for them

When all momentum begins to cease what
will you feel with the end rising all around
you; what once propelled you forward
now draws you near to the questions
you once ignored but now must confront

When and how; now you know

But the question has now become who

Who have you become?

Is it the stone hurled by someone
else or the stone sinking because
life became something you could
not prepare for or know?

Who will you be when the world
doesn’t value a stone seeking
the floor where all sound must
cease and the sun and the rain
can only be seen through the
prism of fate and destiny colliding
all around you while you wonder
if the choice ever mattered

But what you brought with you
are the secrets of a life with one
more chance to help another stone
hurtle further; held aloft by your
wisdom even though it may never
know that what sunk to the bottom
was not to be forgotten but instead
God’s hand if you will only believe
in your purpose

Should I tell you all my dreams, quickly and
at once before the shock of it all sets into
your life again or should we only pretend
that what is happening is only a day and an
hour between two friends?

I once was willing, so easily, to give the rest
of my life, sixty years or more; now I fear for
the time remaining, maybe a day and an hour
or maybe twenty years fading away into the
recesses of conversations and silence as if
there is a gap that could actually be filled
with meaning

How could you possibly compete with the
things I value that are always with me, songs
that make me cry, words I think of for weeks
on end before finding each other as we once
did, freedom to wonder about the beautiful
faces I see all around; how could you compete
with these things except to be so vulnerable
that you would be terrified enough to run away?

Are we thawing in the winter and freezing in
the summer; is there something that is so
different about us that we can be together
and give one another the freedom to climb
trees as leaves returning home or like the wind
that would blow without oceans swirling
or mountains standing in our way?

Is there?

Let us not aspire to be like them
We are not to follow one man or woman
Or to sacrifice our brothers and sisters

They offer our existence
We give our obedience
They offer us equality
We accept mediocrity

Let us remember not to trust them
We are not to assume their good intention
Or that they can change the hearts of men

They decide at night
We hear speeches in the light
They ask us to blame one another
While they wink at each other

Let us not forget why we love the seasons
We are not to live a life without our own reason
Or spend our time crying like the children we are

Our surrender a cocoon
As is every revolution
Our violence a butterfly
Free will until we die

I’ve already swallowed you
You passed through my vital signs
What they said to you as you gasped
Was a promise that will never destroy you

I don’t have any questions
I’m never sure until I open my eyes
The time between a dream and the sunrise
Is what it feels like to not worry about you

I didn’t warn you as you fell
For once gravity was not an experiment
The only place we feel is where blood is made
Where we love is inside of me inside of you

The walls do not fall willingly
No matter their prayers and tears
No matter how many circles they march
No matter a ram’s horn ringing in their ears

Ghosts stand on the far side of the river
Waiting for their brothers to be together
Brothers who dream of crossing the Jordan
Brothers who dream only of their character

It is for their children that they walk towards the sun
It is the God we pray to who made deserts for men
They see the sun set though blue is what colors their skies
But the songs they sing have become red once again

The war is always far from the naive shore
But the horror remains for some at home
The faces of those who paid the price
Grace small mountain towns standing alone

Only quiet streets understand

Setting sail with sad winds at their face
No man can tell them of their fate
For it has already been cast before them
And now they live knowing it's too late

But honor lives forever

We can only fear each other
For what we know
Is what we are told to believe
But still I believe in you
Because you believe in me

What land can we discover now?
Who can we civilize while we **** their culture?
We can only turn on ourselves
Distant shores of honor no longer have a future

Only a past

He cannot remember a time when he could smile
He knows the things that is a death warrant to leak
It is unbearable to share time with those who do not care
The truth is a door that opens to those who dare to speak

If only they didn't bury the key

We only fear each other
For what we know
Is what we are told to believe
But still I believe in you
Because your eyes are all I can see

i wonder if you are joy
entering my arm
or a needle
reminding me of the pain
the inside of a pill
ready to melt into my body
or the way I choke
as it clutches my throat
the smoke is the mist
you are walking towards me
or is it how I cough
knowing it cannot last
i want you deep, inside
the only way to my heart
it’s not laughter or a smile
it has to be that way
a drug that will **** us one day

What I’ve heard from the mouths of the men upon which the spirit was laid
Are words once thought spoken only where sins are finally paid
They read with fire gleaned from where they thought the book was stored
But the bush that burned became only ashes that were soon ignored
Will his truth find faith inside the blind?

What I’ve felt while a boy suffered before the eyes by which he was made
Was the silent burning reminder by the light that made me afraid
As leaves fell upon themselves one will live by the point of a sword
And one would live by the winds risen from the womb of the Lord
Will his truth witness what was left behind?

What I’ve said only opened the skin of a woman that bled upon my blade
And as I watched the shroud softly cried waiting while she prayed
It was the lost chapter of a sequel that could only play the same sad chord
But as pages vanished he remembered repentance was its own reward
Will his truth wash away the doubt from my mind?

I see you
We are the same
But we must shed our layers
Our pride
Our distance
All the things we assume to be true

It is our weakness that separates us

It is our fears that controls us

We cling to race
To flags
To Gods
And to gold
Because we are afraid

But the world that was promised
Is about faith
In God
And in love

We say we believe in God
And we say we believe in love
But we are lost

We accuse
Each another

We hate
Each other

We reject
Each other

We hide our hearts
Out of fear
We do not believe we are strong
So we run away
From love
From each other
And pretend to be strong

We are afraid of rejection
We give another human all the power
The power to destroy us
The power to judge us
By their standards
And not God's

In the night
All alone
In your silence
Your honesty is awake
That is who you are
Though I cannot see you then

What would happen if I was there?

But I see you now
We are the same
And now I stand naked before you

Look at me

I have nothing to hide
I don't care what you know about me
It doesn't matter
I am still what I am
Weak
Fearful

Because I only know that I am not long for this world
I can dig my grave now
I have a spoon
You see silver
I see rust

At least I don't have to use my hands

There is nothing that I can prove about what I know

There is nothing that I can prove about what I have done

There is nothing but us

There is nothing but love

But where is it?