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Oct 2016 · 1.1k
i'm sorry
lulu Oct 2016
"i'm sorry."**

the two words you uttered that night
the two words that still haunt me today
and the two words i never knew i needed to hear

did you mean it?
were you sorry for leaving me?
were you sorry for allowing your ego to overcome what we had?
were you sorry for what we had?

well, i'm sorry too.

i'm sorry for fighting for you
even when i knew it wasn't right

i'm sorry for holding you back
when you could've been happier with her

i'm sorry for loving you
when i knew you weren't for me
Jun 2016 · 472
let go
lulu Jun 2016
my love,
the probability of you choosing me
is pretty slim
but the probability of me not loving you
is much
much
higher

I'm sorry,
I had to let you go.
My arms might have set you free,
but my heart and mind is still captivated by you.

720 hours
42300 minutes
2538000 seconds
is not enough
for my heart and mind to comprehend losing you

720 hours
42300 minutes
2538000 seconds
and I'm still waiting for you to come back

I'm waiting for you
to realize that you should have chosen me
I'm waiting for you
And I will wait for you
as the sun rises and sets
I will wait for you
amidst the chaos this world holds
I will wait for you
until my heart can no longer hold the pain
Feb 2015 · 617
020915
lulu Feb 2015
i see you.
but i don't think you see me.
i see you.
your fingers intertwined with hers.
her head on your shoulders.
and your hearts on your sleeves.
i see you.
and oh how i wanna bury my head in the crook of your neck.
oh how i want you to hold me tight in your arms.
oh how i just want you.
you.
just you.
i just really want you.
Dec 2014 · 1.0k
she's supposed to be here
lulu Dec 2014
she's here,
but i don't see her.

she's here,
with her dull eyes
but i don't see her.

she's here,
with her fragile body,
but i don't see her.

she's here,
with stained cheeks,
but i don't see her.

she's here,
not not uttering a single word,
and i still don't see her.

i don't see the girl i used to know.
i don't see her.

her with bright, glittering eyes.
her with an enthusiastic soul within a body.
her with that curved up line in her face.
her with too many words to say.

*i just don't see her.
Dec 2014 · 3.1k
a word used too much
lulu Dec 2014
i am disgraced by the fact that i used the words "i love you"
but i cannot think of any other set of words that is strong enough
to describe my deep affection for you

i love you
with my frail heart
and my battered soul
i know that..
i love you
for my heart leaps
at the sound of your voice
i love you
for my stomach swirls
at the warmth of your embrace
i love you
for my eyes swell
at the thought of losing you
i
love
you.
12/2/14
Dec 2014 · 7.2k
hands and feet
lulu Dec 2014
i have hands but i don't see them.*  

i don't see them doing something different.
i don't see them creating magnificent pieces.
i don't see them writing for a greater cause.

all i see
is what they *destroy
.
i see *the hearts they break
,
the egos they shatter,
the minds they shake,
and the souls they crush.

i have feet, but it doesn't seem like it.

i don't feel my feet marching for a better world.
i don't feel my feet going to places it should.
i don't feel my feet running from the negativity of this place.

the times i do see them,
they're walking to the pits of fire
they're running in a maze
they're falling to the pavement.
12/1/14
Nov 2014 · 831
everyday
lulu Nov 2014
the sun is up
and it's 7am
i lay here awake,
dreaming of you again.

i dream of
the endless possibilities of the love
we once shared
and the places it could have taken us.

i dream of
the times our hands were clapsed so tight because we never want to let go,
the times we spent together,
and the times when we still loved each other.

i dream of you
for i know that what we had was something beautiful
and we were destined for something wonderful.

i guess it was the distance
that caused our love to reach its end
or maybe we're just lost pieces
that don't fit.

the moon is up
and it's 7am
i'm still laying here
dreaming of you again
a poem written in the four corners of a coffee shop.
Nov 2014 · 345
what i am left with
lulu Nov 2014
my first thought was nothing
for that was what you left me with
as blank as a canvas
with no colors to fill it in

you were suppose to be the rainbow
that i looked for, after the rain
but instead,
you became the dark cloud
that took my sunshine away.
co-written by one of my bestfriends, Camille.
Nov 2014 · 378
beat and rhythm
lulu Nov 2014
there were a lot of songs
i used to sing
but i never really understood
what they mean

then You came into my life
and little did i know why

You have turned into the
the melody of my songs
and the beat to my rhythms.

You meant more to me
than i have known,
and You gave me the meaning
that i have been searching for.
Nov 2014 · 691
losing you
lulu Nov 2014
i
have
lost
you
to the world of darkness
and the broken

i
have
lost
you
in a whirlwind
of pain and misery

i
have
lost
you
to reality
we tried so hard to escape

i
have
lost
you
and
*you have left me
in this pit hole of agony
Nov 2014 · 449
a gentle reminder
lulu Nov 2014
dear little girl,
you have a purpose.

you are to bloom like flower,
you are to shine bright,
and you will become something great
for you are special.

i know you have heard this,
over
and over
and over again.

but i am telling you this again,  
because maybe this time around,
it will sink in.
maybe this time around,
your mind will finally grasp the idea.
and maybe this time around,
it will be etched in that delicate heart of yours.
Nov 2014 · 7.2k
unreachable doors
lulu Nov 2014
doors are all around me,
they're here.
to my left and to my right,
they're big and small,
wide and narrow.
i struggle to get to them,
for they seem too far away.
and there are giant barriers
that block my way.
they're huge and strong,
and it seems almost impossible
for me, a single being,
to jolt them away.
opportunities linger around me, but the hindrances almost always get to me first.
Oct 2014 · 379
our small conversation
lulu Oct 2014
he said hi,
and my heart skipped.
that's how it all started,
one small conversation.

one conversation
that lead to another
and another
and another
and it went on and on.

one conversation
that brought me joy,
they brought back big, giddy smiles on my face.

but as time passed,
those conversations stopped.
and i never thought that that it would hurt this much.
conversations i engaged with too much.
Oct 2014 · 1.2k
stars
lulu Oct 2014
i look up at the sky
in search for stars
but instead,
i see darkness.

darkness has concealed
all the bright spots.
they use to give me hope,
but now they're gone.

if only
i could take away the darkness
and bottle it up.
so that i can see stars
up and shining again.
a poem for my friends who used to light up my sky.
Oct 2014 · 811
my letter to you
lulu Oct 2014
Dear you,
guard your little heart,
it seems very vulnerable.
guard it,
for there might be not much left.

you have given your heart
to people who didn't deserve it
and they have thrown it away
to some unknown place.

be done giving parts of that heart
for soon,
there will be nothing left.

guard it,
with steel bars and brass locks.
guard it,
*while it it's still there.
a poem for all the hearts out there.
Oct 2014 · 880
for you little ones
lulu Oct 2014
i aspire to inspire
you, little girl
to pour out your heart
and break the walls you've build

i write to ignite
that fire in you, little girl
to stand on your two feet
and dare to dream

i aspire to inspire
for you too, little boy
to see that you can be different
and to see that you are one of a kind

i write to ignite
that fire in you too, little boy
to reach out to that light
and not let the darkness get into you

i have hope for you, little ones
to be the strong soldiers
in this world we live in.
for you, and you, and you.
Oct 2014 · 304
the path
lulu Oct 2014
somewhere along this path,
i've lost a part of me.
Oct 2014 · 770
just a thought
lulu Oct 2014
"It's worth a shot."
and that's what we all thought.
Oct 2014 · 461
for it is not
lulu Oct 2014
It is not
a mere game for two
nor a feeling
that comes on queue

It is not
a solution to boredom
nor a decision
at random

It is not
something to throw around
but it is
to uphold and be crowned

for love
is a promise
kept by two
to be kept forever
if it is true

it is a precious gift
to another
and once given,
we are left to ponder.
decide who to love and who to give your heart to.
Oct 2014 · 613
the drought has come
lulu Oct 2014
slowly, slowly
they start to pile up
i have no courage anymore,
and fear has arrived

my poems are locked up in a cell
and i have lost the key
i have been looking for a spare
but i have no light to see

**the drought season has come
and i have run dry
i have reached the season.
Oct 2014 · 416
nonexistent
lulu Oct 2014
i have lost something inside
i never even knew i had
maybe i'll find it soon.
Oct 2014 · 1.3k
wordless
lulu Oct 2014
no words are coming out
for i've suppressed it for too long
and now,
they have lost their way
and they have no way out
i'm trying but nothing's coming out.
Oct 2014 · 703
I
lulu Oct 2014
I
I got lost
lost in your sweet words
my mind and heart cannot take

I fell
fell in love with your heart and soul
too deeply that i cannot move on

I hoped
hoped that you'll see
that i'll be right here

I longed
longed for you to love me back
and say that you'll be here

But i failed
failed to make you stay
and make you mine
a poem for you.
Sep 2014 · 522
a heart
lulu Sep 2014
letting go
moving on
looking forward
these are decisions
i am willing to take

though,
i do not have the heart
a heart strong enough
to break yours
to contain the pain
or just the heart
*to let you go
Sep 2014 · 584
you
lulu Sep 2014
you
i admire you
for your kind heart
for your enthusiastic soul
and everything else in between
Sep 2014 · 462
mr. smit
lulu Sep 2014
mind blocked
heart thumping
fingers fidgeting
legs shaking

here we are
waiting for an update
anything
even just a note

hoping for good news
we rebuke any bad scenario  
and just hope for the best

and in a blink of an eye
we hear the news
we are torn and grateful
two feelings at once

we don't know what to feel
and we start reminiscing

our hearts torn that you are gone
but grateful that you are no longer suffering
we were hoping to be with you
but we know you're better Up There

you are finally Home
and we know you're happy
probably jumping in joy
and watching over us

you will be missed
but never forgotten
you'll be in our hearts forever,
dear Mr. Smit.
à bientôt, my friend.
Sep 2014 · 1.1k
Lost heart and soul
lulu Sep 2014
Unguarded
are our hearts,
they're lost in the wild

we try to find a hunter
who will try and salvage
what is left
of our souls and hearts
Sep 2014 · 429
Our love
lulu Sep 2014
our love is sinking
its drowning
it's slowly falling apart
and no one's trying to save it
Sep 2014 · 358
Her.
lulu Sep 2014
She stares out the window
hoping to see
something beautiful
that will give her glee

She sees nothing
it's bare, hallow, empty
the only thing she sees
are the tears clumped up in her eyes
about to fall

Maybe someday
she'll look out of the window
and see the beauty
that lays within her

— The End —