It all started off innocent enough
To take a slight edge off the pain
Some days seem worse than others
So you take a few more I'm afraid

Before too long the battle is gone
You don't dare go back to the doctor
So you take to the streets to meet demanding needs
With no option of over the counter

As all addictions do they stop working for you
And eventually bite like an ungrateful dog
The only reason you know is your friends tell you so
In your shipwreck of a drug laden fog

You try and think back on the life you once had
Before you first swallowed this hell
But with a mind that's not clear to point you anywhere
Your past is too far back to tell

You pray for normalcy but never down on your knees
Afraid that you might get your wish
Not sure you could let go the only comfort you know
In this cruel world of hit and miss

Still if you could go back you'd jump at the chance
To not have given your soul away
In the form of a pill that doesn't care what it steals
Leaving behind death in its wake

Your mouth on mine
and I know I
won't be able to resist;
the horror wants to
pull me away,
but you keep me grounded,
I love you and so I stay.
"Let's make it worthwhile" you say
we pour 3 hours' passion into
the last 3 minutes of our day,
I feel the emptiness leave me
to mingle with yours
and suddenly two empty vessels
become a whole.

My name's Anti and I crave
the dark side of a day,
I'm insecure and
sometimes I can't define what I think,
I push people away,
I've gotten so huge,
my victim sees a shrink.
I won't be tamed by pills,
a substance holds no power
over a force that kills;
sure, I'm prone to blind infatuation,
extreme heart palpitations,
but has no one ever told you
of my evergreen determination?

How do I milk these thoughts?
I extract them from her skull,
I turn off the colour switch
so she won't want to exist in this dull...
I scream inside her
and she fights me,
endlessly, tiredlessly,
She's trying all the solutions in the book
but without a grain of confidence,
she's a fishing line with no hook,
sinking into my kind of
state of mind for eternity,
penetrating my inner walls,
she knows my name as she falls,
She has become me.

Love (if I'm capable of that),
Anti.

oh
sebum heart
you are more than the cells rotting in your
body
.than the hive mind of bacteria in your gut telling you to rip the
place to shreads


my love traces over
you
in shoals of sticky wet erasure