I can't be mad at him
because I know
how he holds his shield
and pretends
my open arms are a declaration of war.
he fears turning back into the thorn crown
that I once wore upon my head.
I'm not able to be mad at him

I'm not able to be mad at him
because I know
that he wears thorn bracelets every night.
and runs out of my line of sight.
he'll rue the day
but is the sun
for there's a war
that I've already won.

the flame fills your lungs.
and you feel nothing but power
your fears are charred away
and when you exhale,
people cower in fear.

step down and let their tears fall
they will water the garden
and feed the people
for you have deprived them of the feeling for so long.

I wish the sun would set again.
I haven't gotten a good rest in what feels like slow, burning decades.
All because the sun shines into my room
my mesh curtains won't block him out
so I lay dormant
and as I lie, I think
'did the sun ever love me?'
He was bright and stood taller than my short frame ever could.
He made me promise not to leave
but he danced with the moon at night.
I have tried everything to block the sun out,
but he refuses to set.
The trickles of light haunt my every move.
He marks where I'd fall down dead with my shadow.
He follows me even when I change in the bathroom.
I wish the sun would set again.
Simply so I can forget he ever existed.

The sun kisses our gentle foreheads.
She tells us it's ok.
She tells us it"s fine.
She raised us strong enough to get through this.
Listen to her.
She is waiting for you.

I was frozen despite the fire on my shoulder.
The ***** he drank stunk up the room
it was suffocating.
he strung his hand around my shoulder and gripped it tight.
His skin was dry.
He laughed and laughed and talked about how I looked just like my mum.
He said if I was older he wouldn't mind snatching me up and doing outrageous things to me.
He wouldn't stop laughing.

She's been waiting to hug the stars
She used to tell me how each star shined for me
and now she does the same.

My head fits perfectly on her shoulder.
her hand fits so well in mine.
this love is heavy like a boulder.
And her smile is so bright it shines.
Her heart is bigger than her body.
My eyes follow hers.
She caught me up and held me closely.
But I will never get more.

I sat in the grass and pulled it out of the ground
And I pulled my heart out of my chest
and I chopped it up in bits to give out
'others need it more'
but now that it's all gone
what will I do with the hole in my chest?

I learned to trust
From the boys with the heart-eyed smiles
Who told me I was funny
And then waged war
on my body

Achelois is the moon.
"She who washes away pain," they say.
So tell the moon your secrets
tell the moon your woes
Achelous will listen.
And once you stop talking,
she shines her light in a wink.
Achelois is the moon.
Achelois is a friend.

Please send me a letter.
I’ll open it up
And smile
As your handwriting graces my eyes,
And your words smile back at me.

Sometimes, a shade of blue will remind me of you, and you specifically. I wonder, if this shade were water, would I be able to reach in and fetch small bits of your heart and soul?
Sometimes, blue tells a story
And you look nice in blue.

I ask you,
Why?
Why did you never lend me your strength,
even for a second.
Why have you left
to tend to the sky
when I needed you most.

I will sing my monody with pride
No matter if you happen to cry

wear shoes made of hot coals
to show that your mere
p r e s e n c e
can be dangerous

don't be afraid to bare your teeth
and snarl aloud
for weve evolved from instinct
and once you embrace it
you are more human than us all

I hear him mention that my greatness is that of a family name
and in that moment I understand I am nothing but a legacy.

And my tears are the vines that climb the deck
and put out his cigarette

and my memories create a storm
and dilate his ***** 'till it is water

-it takes time to see your true magic

I want you
to set your throat ablaze
and yell as loud as you can.

you are
                                               allowed
to be angry.

I want you
to sing
as we burn
our                                               problems
to ashes.

but I am simply a child
and as my imagination runs wild
the rampant halls
and violent withdrawals
my mind is busier than ever.

I fear stepping on the
scattered shards
and bearing more weight
than I ever have before
so I don't make any attempt
despite my own plea
and I silently hope that someday soon
you will choose to talk to me

The pit in my stomach is lead.
It weighs me down
and infects my mind.
In ways fight or flight can only begin to explain.

open your arms wide,
and accept a hug from Aphrodite
in that moment of safety and acceptance found in her arms,
understand that love is no guilty pleasure,
it is a necessity.
in that moment
you can visualize love as a source
that can be shared,
but to survive you must keep some for yourself.
accept Aphrodite's hug, my dear.

My poetry is akin to Aphrodite.

My words are doves, tears in their eyes.
And when I release them, their thoughts land in the minds of others, growing like seedlings.

And like Aphrodite, tales of its beauty might as well spread.

With much difficulty, I shall accept.

My physical form dulls my light
and at this point, mostly at night
existing isn't normal.

She tells me my hands are warm.
In that moment
I feel the raging fire
once used
to burn my ancestors.

And that makes me wonder
Why haven't I burned anything down
except myself?

my words sit
in my head
crying and pleading
their way out.
who am I
to just let them sit there?

sometimes,
I wonder if I am lugubrious.
I wonder if my own self-hatred
shows to the surface,
eating away at my flesh
and finding its home
it's weight,
pulling down my bones.