the fluorescent haze of midnight in the city
observent, patient, longing

hands cradling nectar
caffeinated teeth pulling at the flesh of your lips

intergalactic mind
smattered with careless constellations
I think my gravity has been stolen

my symbiotic smile
stems from the curl of your lips
I think my autonomy is buried with my rationality

The husk of Persephone’s fruit
Stale on my tongue
I bathe in the honeyed promises that ooze
until liquid fills my lungs
and I am consumed

careless kisses
fumbled apologies
clumsy hands

parched lips
thighs craving
eyes wandering

she thinks your lips
drip liquid gold
words like
gilded treasures
meandering between
the soft curve of your shape
drinking your nectar
Persephone's tether to Hades

working her way
inside
she knows
it works

for when the gold
fades to ***** grey
your eyes
speak lies
yet your lips
beg me to stay

husk of the seed stale on my tongue
I do not move

and from the bones
you exposed
sprout the stems
of hopeful wildflowers
stretching towards
a new sun

Love that is almost dangerous
the thrill of the promise of tongue to lip
urges suppressed by caution
eventually removed like fabric from skin

I cannot tell
if your lustful mind orbits about me
if your bones ache for mine
if you bask in my presence, sculptor in awe of his creation

How do you see me?

Am I one night of desire?
satin sheets stale as the morning dew settles
and the sunlight scalds our eyes

Am I collision of past and future?
conceived in chaos
married in primal passion

Tell me if I urge the stars to align
in your misted eyes

Tell me if I'm yours

Because the liminal space I inhabit
Is making me
Transparent

I want someone
Who will send me flowers on a Tuesday
And drive at 2am to hold me when I’m the furthest from being okay

Someone who will call just to say something reminded them of me
And know exactly what coffee I need to get through the day

I need someone
Who understands that when I try to push them away
I need them the closest
Someone who will look into my tired eyes
And tell me I’m beautiful even though I feel the furthest thing from it

I need someone
Who wants to know every vice, every moment that stains my past
Like tea on a childhood treasure map
Connecting the points
Silently accepting
That I’m far from perfect
But loving me anyway

I want you to look into my eyes and feel the fluorescent haze of the city evaporate, for time to stop like it does in the movies. Kisses in the rain. But movies are fiction, and I feel defeated for wanting a love that just doesn’t exist.

Well maybe it does
Just not from you.

T he sheets feel colder on your side as the
R ain drums a primal beat on the fogged window
A nd my eyes begin to flicker shut
N eglected by your gaze.
S lowly, you slide your feet to the floor and I reach forward
P rovoked by the quickened beating in my chest.
A m I really present?
R eality succumbed to twisted reverie
E ven though my hands are flesh, you do not see me
N ot since thoughts of Her danced before your eyes
T hen I became TRANSPARENT

At first you made me feel
celestial

now I can feel
the force
of the universe
heavy
on my back
and
I
cannot
move
on

who knows if

this is just a game for you

whether your coming and going

like shuffling cards

will deal me out

when your fun is over



am I just

a constant

something to carelessly toss

like dice

unsure of the result

only caring for the thrill of the moment



is it love,

my love?

or is it just a gamble?

who is it
that wanders through the darkroom of your heart
who is it
imprinted on each photo
head tilted back
wry smile playing on her lips

I cannot tell
for sometimes she looks a lot like me

then others
I am so far from being enough for you
that a day without me easily slips by

I feel your beauty stems from not belonging to anything
or anyone
Am I trying to trap a firefly
And dilute its glow to fuel my embers?
Is each "I love you" pulling you closer to earth
when you were born to fly

Do you think of me?
When bitter coffee burns your mouth
Caffeinated teeth pulling at the soft flesh of your lip

Do you think of me?
When light dapples your pillows
Silhouetted ghosts of past nights slow-dancing on the walls

You consume me
Physically, mentally
My gravity is disrupted by your stare

I am in orbit
Around the idea of love
Love with you
Love with us

In my mind I have crafted you
To be more than the physical form can obtain
And though I am let down
I am buoyant
Though your waves hurl me to shore
I drift back with the surf
And let the next take me

I still think

Of the ties I’ve severed

Of the bridges I’ve burned and then danced through the ashes

Who I have lost

Who I have found

As the embers spark they reflect like alternate universes in your eyes

Drag me into the void

But I know you’ll leave me there

As you pursue your own utopia

A labyrinth of

cause and effect,

building blocks to make

The once wild view

distorted by harsh concrete



But such beautiful weeds

Meander through the cracks

Blossoming into

Unsuspecting flowers who

Struggle towards the light

That stung my eyes



The translucent film that once

Made the world a hazy existence,

Where I toed the line between

Life and death.

Dipping my toe over

The edge.



You tore it

and

The sun blinded me.

Plato’s final prisoner

But now I bathe

In the

Light

how often
do I cross your mind
I wonder
as my mind is simply you

you do not worship at my altar
nor any at all
you are too free
perhaps I only weigh you down

Do not trust me
With your heart
As hands do sculpt
With careless anticipation
Of fine art
And the pressure
My thumbs knead into your form
Might distort imperfections
And fashion falsehood

Do not trust me
With your mind
I have stuff of nightmares
Lurking beneath the bed
And whilst I curl my toes from the edge
The sweet stench of your perfume
Sends them reeling into crazed hunger
As it does me
And I cannot control them

Do not trust me
To allow you to bridge the gap between our minds
And plough carelessly through meadows I have populated
Tending to crops I have reared from seed
For they are mine
I do not belong to you
But perhaps
You might stay a while
Wandering romance

Red skittles
In my clenched fist
Holding on so tightly
That the dye bleeds
Crimson in my palm

I feel myself
Getting heavy at the wrists
As I cling on
No matter how my autonomy seeps
Into your waiting hands

Am I the sweet tang
Of sugar coated lust?

How many other delights
Have you tasted?

Do you crave me?