Hopeless on a Monday
Strange comfort in its despair-
in consistency

I love
I hate
I yearn
I ache

The pain
The chase
Eyes and ears and taste

The hands
That shake
Making love to my mistakes

Regret
Remorse
Embracing my own corpse

Change
Sorrow
Waiting for tomorrow

Paranoia
Trust
Drenched in pixie dust

Manic
Placid
The future's dipped in acid

Hope
Unrest
Bricks inside my chest

Friction
Freedom
Lies that I believe in

Tears
Laughter
Curate my own disaster

Chalk
Frost
Skin made up of moss

Tide
Concrete
Death before retreat

Time
Space
Stuffed inside a case

Fraud
Truth
The difference between the two

"I'm fine"
It's true
And if you actually knew
What could you even do?

Please, please, please
Help me get through today with ease
As a child
With a mother
Who thought me a disease

My heart is packed so full of love for you
  I dreamed I exploded, like aerosol cans sometimes do

I blew with such force that my bones became shrapnel
And leveled the town, except the small chapel

My teeth flew like bullets, I didn't know what was happening
They killed everyone in sight, except for the chaplain

And then, thanks to him, we were happily wed
Even though, at the time, I think we were both dead

No matter what I find
I'm so glad I chose to hide
Instead of doning a disguise

I waited until I could find
A place that wasn't just in my mind
To trust myself to be alive

I'm so proud to be in a place
To no longer believe it when they say
I was born a certain way

The rage
It comes from a true place
My heart of hearts true faith
I refuse to replace
With self hatred
For their own sake

Instead of shaving down
The life I've built around
The one that I burnt down

I'll protect it with that same rage
You told me was my worst mistake

And when you see me face to face
with regret
I'll **** doubt instead

I hate myself
But that's okay
I'll like myself better
Another day

I don't have to hope
I know
With me
That's just how it goes

Just like a stray
I won't always show my face

Give it time
I'll be fine

I know my ways
It always pays
To give me space
It's best to let me go-
at my own pace

I'll come back if it's right
If it's worth the fight

I know my wobbly heart
Would pick it apart
Trying to find the art

If it's worth it
It will hard

And maybe if I'm lucky
It might leave a you shaped scar

In the shower shaving
When I can't help but ponder
Back in the 12th century
People would **** each other
Just to sneak a holy peak
At the unchanged physique