Watch them pass the roll of grass
As they fall...  
                         down on their ***
Let them sit and take a hit
Even though it smells like ****
I want to be a different kind of free
Where I can just be me
And dance in modest pants
To a song of romance
"It's not my crowd"
I say out loud
"I belong on the ground"
Far from the **** and tar
Out of the clouds running far
To a place bound in lace
*As pretty as my face

You died, By Suicide
And I cried,
and cried and cried.
Inside, Part of me died
Cos you lied,
and lied and lied.
You’re gone, and I’m the one
To suffer on,
and on and on.
Why, Why? You had to lie?
Chose to die?
Oh why Oh why?
You knew, I loved you
So why you?
Why you? Why you?
I try to understand why
But I cry,
and cry and cry.
Heart break, a pain that makes
My soul ache,
and ache and ache.
You knew, what I’d go through
You had to!
**** you! **** you!
Sorry, but you hurt me
Needlessly,
badly, sadly.
Guilty and so angry
You left me
lonely, empty.
Someday, the hurt just may
Go away,
I pray and pray.
Love you, will always do
Forgive you?
That’s hard to do!

I watch myself in the mirror
Falling apart with every tear
I wish I could get high
Like my friends
Without crashing so **** hard
I wish I could take pills
Like my mom and step dad do
But they always make me throw up
Even after one or two
I wish I could lose myself in games
Or books
Or ****
But they all bore me or only make me
Uncomfortable
I don't have a fix so I relieve myself of thoughts
By taking the blade of some scissors
And driving them into my thigh with force
It helps only a little because there's only so much
One can do
I'm depressed and stuck because I'm so different
To all of you
Nothing works but I'm willing to try
Writing used to be it
So was dancing and singing
And playing piano
And talking to my friends
But I'm older now and not as gifted
As the child I used to be
And no one wants to listen to a nutty chook you see
So now I'm alone with my thoughts
And they're slowly killing me