am i a bad person for thinking
i’m not in love with you?

you love me to the ends of
the earth but i see it now

the pain was too much for
me to handle in the summer

the lies were breaking me
to the dust i’m made of

i want to love you but
how do i love someone

you’ve made it seem like
every love has to hurt

are you a bad person?

you come back now, asking why i’m so different. i could answer with over a million reasons but we both know there’s only one.

you sit there, acting like it wasn’t your fault. you took my heart, my mind, and my soul with you that day you left. do you remember that day?

now you sit here, heartless, telling me, “you’ve changed.”

you’re pathetic, i want to whisper. instead i shake my head with a playful smile on my lips.

“i don’t know. i suppose time.”

She's got a bad reputation
Her laugh is loud
Everyone wants to find her location
She draws a crowd

She has secrets
Barely any told
Some of them make deep cuts
And leave them cold

Some like her
Some do not
She will come into your life like a blur
And some get caught

He has feelings
She can't figure it out
She'll keep him bleeding
But sooner or later, it will all turn into a drought

i see things
they lurk around the corner
waiting for me to ruin myself
in the limelight of eyes

i hear things
that whisper as i try to think
they try to make me do things
i don’t want to do

i feel things
urges to do something bad
something my mother wouldn’t approve
but then i remind myself

she was the one who put them there.

your eyes seem to change colors
and seem to be deeper than the ocean

you have different laughs but my
favorite is the short and breathless one

you know i can’t stand country music
yet you blast it through your speakers

your family has dinner together every
single night like the ones in the movies

you always say, “yeah, um” or “the uh”
when you’re thinking of what to say

you workout every day for hours
shaping your body into perfection

you seem like a mama’s boy
always trying to please and talk to her

you love animals but
still eat your meat

your mom is always gone traveling
and you pretend that you’re not sad

you work hard for the grades you have
but the pressure makes you feel worse

your considering the army but
can’t decide if it’s worth the time

your hands are always rough when
you touch me but it just means hard work

you always look at me like i’m the
only one you are able to see

every time we see each other
i notice more stops on your
roadmap and i travel every
time we laugh, cry, smile
and i think it’ll be an endless vacation

i’m sick of it
i’m sick of the pain
i’m sick of waiting
i’m sick of sacrificing
i’m sick of the crying
i’m sick of the lies
i’m sick of your friends
i’m sick of your behavior
i’m sick of it all

the pain is for your satisfaction
the waiting is the patience my mother taught me
the crying is the tears of anger
the lying is for you to get away
the friends influence our relationship
the drugs and alcohol ruin us

the sickness is the end.

your name would never be just another name
your face would never be just another face
although sometimes people call love a game

i realized i wanted a lifetime of this
for you to see me in white lace
and to hold you in times of times of complete bliss

i cannot thank you for the time we have spent so far
sometimes i am not able to comprehend my love for you so i pace
i knew i was in love with you the moment you stepped out of that black, luxurious car

and wow, we have come so very far.

a smile that could cure cancer
eyes that can light the universe
a laugh to diagnose depression
stories that make you laugh until you cry

he will literally make you die inside

“no,” i beg, latching onto your arm, “please, don’t go.”

you don’t even look at me. this was your fault, and you’re doing, yet i’m begging for you to stay with me.

“i can’t,” you whisper, wiping a tear from my face as you stare at my swollen lips.

“can’t what?” i ask.

“i can’t love you anymore.”

“yes, you can. why wouldn’t you be able to?” i ask, panicked. i try to meet your eyes but you won’t stop staring at my lips. your hands trail down my back and squeeze my hips.

“no, i just don’t love you anymore.”

and that’s when it hit me, like a bullet shooting straight through my skull.

the eyes i once thought had endless depth in them hold nothing but lust as we make eye contact for the first time.

you never loved me
you loved my body
and that i let you lay between my legs

i rip away from you, anger taking over my whole being.

“get out.”

you’ve been damaged from your childhood
from the fighting your parents
the way they call you names
and tell you things that are engraved into your soul

but now i’ve sacrificed everything from my happiness to my innocence
and i’m still falling through tme down with you, falling faster than i did for you
i want to stay but the pain tears me from you
tell me you love me because all i want to do is love you. . . again

my heart beats as i lay on your chest
conquering your love was some kind of quest
your love for me will be so deep
that when i leave you will do nothing but weep
i hope i touch the darkest parts of your soul,
turning them into nothing but gold
my looks can be decieving
and thinking that i love you must be relieving

i'm not here to stay, my love
i will soon fly away like a silent dove

write on my body with your lips
take my heart in tiny bits

touch my skin softly
read me to sleep
hold me when i cry
dazzle me with your smile

deceive me with kindness
then hurt me the next
your hands can do wonders besides just ***

my soul is fragile
but of course i have to bow down to you, my king