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Jillian Jesser Dec 2015
at night
the sound shifts
and in the low hum of voices
I hear a silence hiding
a flower growing in concrete
laughter and sadness live
in this place
beacons, shedding light
on darkness
and how the dark
        will break your bones
        and turn your stomach
without the silence
Jillian Jesser Dec 2015
The up side
everyone knows your name

The down side
everyone knows your name
paranoia insanity positivity negativity love hate music madness purity control endless thoughts
Jillian Jesser Dec 2015
When I dusted off the counter today
I found something that was lost before

Jesus was there by the sink,
sitting down right next to the toaster
he looked at me and asked for a coaster
he and the cherubs were drinking diet soda,
and watching the ants eat my sugar

I asked him three questions
and hear what they are
why are you sitting by the toaster?
why in the hell would you want my coaster?
and
didn't I ask you to leave last summer?

Jesus said he wanted to live in my heart
first the counter
then my heart
what's next Jehova, my first born child?

yes actually he said, before he snorted and growled
I really do want your first born child
would you like a brochure for heaven?
its pretty wild there, and the bread's all unleavened

No thanks
No thanks
God Jesus Antichrist hate love offense genius cruel master no gods no masters no one Trust diet coke peace hate anger joy slavery child
Jillian Jesser Dec 2015
cold cement under my feet
contemplating a deep colorful galaxy
humming to myself the tune we love
you are not mine
as the breath within my lungs is not mine
I take you in, and then you are gone
we are worlds apart
a century between us as we embrace
the soft night air is our home
adrift on a sea of doubts
lovers and friends
and at last friends
the universe expands
and you float away from me

I smoke a cigarette
at 11:30 p.m
it is cold
even with your absence
I am alive in a world that is home to you
that is enough
Jillian Jesser Dec 2015
I sit and wonder if it is all
ending and if it is meaningless
and I can't see the reason to even
try and then I hear a voice
echo within me that says
you will see, wait for tomorrow
you will see.
Jillian Jesser Dec 2015
If I ever get a chance to
have the kind of love that sits
on the opposite sides of a bench
like two book ends and smiles
into life into death into the black
I will hold it to myself so closely
careful not to smother it, and
I will make it a part of my core
and it will never grow old
Jillian Jesser Dec 2015
sitting in a coffee shop
a man is grinning while
he stares at his laptop
the light from the screen
reflects off his glasses
and his eyes are great
white orbs and he
smiles and smiles and
all I can think is
that I will never
hear you sing again
laptop song sing love hate *** violence angels friends God
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