When I was born,
It was the happiest day of my life
Well I don't know, but I'm sure it was.
I looked at you,
Into your eyes,
And somehow I knew you were my mother.

As I got older, our bond grew stronger.
As I got older, we almost reached perfection.
And as I got older, we argued more and spoke less.
But in the meantime I knew;
For me, you only wanted the best.

I thought,
"So be it,
She's my mum,
She knows me better than anyone."

Years went by,
We started speaking more again.
We bonded again, just like the start...
But now? Now we were stronger than ever.

A few years ago, in a hospital room
When I was born,
Crying and kicking,
Smiling and laughing
Yes, I know your muscles were tight.

But the day I was born, I looked at you for the first time
And close up I witnessed love at first sight.

I have given up on this world.
       But I will never give up on you.

Eventually all these
Negative things will pile up and
She'll lose her mind.
She has nothing to live for.
So why doesn't she cry?

They hate her and probably wish they never had her.
She's sorry.
She's sorry for it all.

If she ended her life right now,
Neither of them would even shed a tear.
For all their sadness, grief and unhappiness,
Would be gone...
Dead;
Killed.

At her own hand.
And she'd regret it not.
For now, at least, she can be at peace.
She CAN be loved and she will.

And there, at least,
She won't be thinking suicidal thoughts.

I don't know
Whether I love you,
Or just the idea of you.

I don't know
If the sun will still shine
Two days from now.

I don't know
How I do this
Every day.

I don't know
I think I do
But I don't.

I don't know
If I'll wake up
Tomorrow. Will I?

I don't know
If I will ever see you smile again
Will I?

I don't know
What would happen
If tomorrow never came.

I don't know
What I'm doing
But its got to do
With your name.

I don't know
If I do.
But I do
I do love you.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a world where it doesn't exist.
Where no crying happens;
And the nights are sweet and long.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a universe where the stars hold our future
Where no tears of sadness dare fall
And the bliss lasts forever.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a life where happiness is rife
Where tears of joy run like waterfalls
And heals and cleanses our broken souls.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak,
My dear,
To a new life where I know my worth
Where my potential is recognized
And where love overflows like streams.

Let me scream;
Let me cry.
Let me let out what's inside.

"This is the problem,", I hear myself say.
Night unravels all the progress of day.
You and your problems aren't less important than me or mine...
That's just the thought in all our lives.

I stare at myself
And think:
What has the world done
To make me hate it like this?

I stare at myself
And answer:
Nothing. It has done sweet nothing.

when days are dark,
your love lights my way.

I'm so sorry for disappointing you. I know you've always relied on me to make you proud and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. I'm so sorry for embarrassing you in front of your friends and our family. I'll try and be more polite. I'm so sorry for keeping to myself. I'm so sorry for being how I am & for always being sad and unhappy. I'm so sorry for not being perfect. I'm so sorry I don't do everything that you ask. I'm so sorry that I cry a lot. I'm so sorry that I can't talk to you. I'm so sorry that you won't understand. I'm so sorry that I'm not the child you wanted, I know he wanted a son instead. I'm so sorry that I'm here, I didn't ask to be. I'm so sorry that I wish I could disappear just to make it easier for everyone else. I'm so sorry that I'm such a horrible person and that everyone I come into contact with, ends up not liking me in the end. I'm so sorry that I end up losing all my friends. I'm sorry that I have an attitude problem. I'm sorry that I have a short temper. I'm so sorry that I make it impossible to have a conversation with me without me being rude or sarcastic. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for having to be sorry.

you cut my wings;
now watch me fly.

you crawled into the crevices of my heart, and made yourself a home.

surrounded by silence;
          but still consumed
                by the voices within.

you are my lighthouse
when I am lost at sea.

Brush my love over your open wounds.

learn to let what is, be.
and let what isn't, go.