Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Grace Victoria Oct 2016
Tom is a bit gay
But being gay does not make a
Man. It is his heart
written for a friend who just wanted to feel special
Grace Victoria Oct 2016
Woken up to the sounds of his saw;
The jarring noise took me from a calm
Sleep. Only six hours ago had it been night
When I laid sleeping with my love.
For years I never had a dream
Until the first time he said my name. "Grace?"

He asked walking towards me. "Your name is Grace,
Right?" In front of me I saw
My future. When I slept that night I had a dream.
For all the times he spoke to me I felt calm
In who I was. He was the one who made me love
Myself once again: even in the darkest night.

I saw myself grow like a child with him. Night
Was no longer full of fear. Welcomed with grace,
I joined his life.  Enchanted whit how much one man could love
So many things. Passion in everything he did. He saw
Beauty in the bare trees. Remaining calm
When the world around me fell, he showed me to turn my dream

Into a literal vision. My dream
Was meant for the world; not to be hidden by the night.
He wanted to help create my dream, and when I lost my calm,
He was always behind me for backup. "Grace,
We're going to create the life you want." I saw
The light in his eyes. I fell in love.

The house we would build was full of love,
dedication to each other, respect for the dream.
The amazement in his expression when he saw
It come to life was worth the pains. At night
We stayed up, whispering until exhaustion. "Goodnight, Grace"
It wasn't until I heard those worlds I felt calm

With myself, with the world. Calm
That this was finally my life. The love
I had for him for filling my life with grace.
With him it came true. My dream
Became our reality. But night
Was still sad, for when I closed my eyes and my love I no longer saw.

When I woke up, I didn't mind the sound of the saw.
The sound was a reminder of his love,
And he only loved me: Grace.
Grace Victoria May 2016
oh my god
I'm so sad....

I'm not depressed
I'm not angry
I'm just sad

sad
and empty.
lonely.

there's nothing else to say anymore.
I have no words.
I just sit at home wishing I had friends
I'm jealous of relationships people can form
I can't describe how I feel
I have one person
and I'm alone when they're not here

I'm just sad...
someone help me
Grace Victoria May 2016
it's like
no matter how well I know
or how many times I experience it
or how many times I'm back stabbed
I still want to see the good in people.

and I still expect there to be good in people
and when there isn't
I'm disappointed
and I'm let down
and I'm sad
and even more than that- I'm angry

I'm angry at them
and I'm angry at me.

how many times am I gonna go through this before I learn
before I find good friends
or people who really care about me

I need to get my act together
to find people who have theirs together.
  Apr 2016 Grace Victoria
GaryFairy
i want to enhance my mind
i like to go to that other place
thought patterns of another kind
outer awareness of inner space

i want to slow down my time
slow the motion of the race
leaving what i know behind
inner awareness of outer space
Grace Victoria Apr 2016
name: grace
age: seventeen
grade: high school junior
social security number: 6- wait

when you first meet someone,
they'll ask tons of questions.
but what's too personal
you'll have to decide for yourself.

what will I own up to?
a lot.
I give the straight out truth.
staying private isn't a concern of mine.
what's one of my truths?
I've been on medication-
a lot of it.

Zoloft, Prozac, Xanax...
you name it.
depression wasn't a choice
but I chose to get help
and for me that meant medicine.
am I dependent on it?
I fear so

I lost my dad before he died.
drugs are a scary thing.
my mom didn't want to see me taken away
so we left before I could remember.
do I know what really happened?
barely.
he died when I was six.
when I uncovered a sliver of the reality
I made that promise.
I'll never do drugs

I'm in control of my life.
chemicals aren't going to affect how I act.
except they do.
every day.
I can't get through my day without them.
I learned what happens when I do.

the dizziness
nauseousness
headache
horrifying nightmares
did someone just call me or am i hallucinating?
why is my foot tingling
reality of not having it one day.

it's called withdrawal.
I get it from missing a dose.
some get it when they can't find-- whatever they want.
is this going to be my life?
constant medication or I'm back to depression?
who am I without those prescriptions?
I can't remember- it's been three years.

why do I need this to function?
am I dependent?
I'm just the same as the rest of them
maybe I am doing drugs.
but I need it,and god knows I need it. I just hate that I need it.
Next page