It has been a while
Since that time.
You know.
That night.
My first date
And that carnival ride.

Yeah,
I'm terrified.

Tell me how you managed it,
How you remember it.

Because young sir,
I highly doubt it is the same as I.
Or do you wake up screaming too?

Because I do.
Never forgetting
Always blaming myself
For something I had no control over.

Did you enjoy my innocence?
Because I wish I could have it back.
That you hadn't done what you had
That I didn't have to see your heart of black.

It still hurts down there.
That place.
You were inside of me before I could say a single thing.
Before I could even say "No"

You make me sick.
So sick that I wanna bleed.
But everyone knows now
And trying to keep me sane.

I had told you that I was saving myself
But all you could say,
"Please Baby, Please!
I love you so much!
Just give me this much!"

Didn't know what to do,
I just freeze.
What am I suppose to say
What do I do now?
Do I talk to my mother and father
Face that judgement
Or do I block it all away with a smile

What do I do
What do I do
What do I do now?!

What the hell am I suppose to do now?!
You hurt me!
You broke me!
I'll never forget!
Pray to a God I no longer trust?!
You both were suppose to protect me and look at me NOW!

I'm ******* bleeding from my wrists!
I have no remorse.
I can't ******* sleep no more
Can't even hug my father.
What am I gonna do now...?!

Licking away the blood
Letting it fall
This cut runs too deep
Time stops as its hard to breath
In this heavy night air
My last breath is drawn from my lungs
As I blunge down from castle
Into the Ocean below
Let me drown
End my suffering and loneliness
For you must face it
This cut runs far too deep
And you can't stop the bleeding

Sweet nothings whispered in my ears
"You are beautiful"
These words venom to my ears
I wouldn't believe such admiration
You see beauty
While I see myself every morning
And am filled with hatred and disgust
For I am no beautiful jewel of the sea
As you proclaim me to be
You haven't seen all of me
Just what I will for you to see
But once I do
And show you all that you wish to know
You will turn away and feel the same disgust
Then will you understand
Why I turn my head
When you,
my love
Speak sweet nothings in my ear
"You are beautiful"
Then will you know
Why I shed that single tear

Never would I make you stay
I would never put you through that misery
Where you would have to look at me
And not feel the same
I would never put you through that misery
When you know that I love you more than anything
And yet
I feel no love in return
From you

She tells me about her past. A ****. A ******.
She lies to me -- I'm fine. It was no big deal. It doesn't bother me anymore.
She knows. I know.
They don't.
She tells me not to call the police. That it's a secret and that its over now.

He hurt her.
I don't know who he is and she won't tell me.
Says that she's protecting me.
That if he knew that I knew, he would get me too.

She remembers everything from that night.
The bad man didn't know that she was watching.
Didn't think she was home.
As he put the gun to her mothers head.

The bad man was in jail for a while.
He's back now.
And he's looking for her
She won't admit it, but she's scared.
Because what we both know,
Is that she never left that house.
**She's still there.