i killed myself in winter
it was 37 below zero
and my mind was as numb as my toes
i didn't think it could get any colder
i was wrong.

my mind may have layers
stairs and levels
twisting
and turning
halls and rooms
but don't be fooled
my mind is not
a building
my mind is not
a home
in fact
my mind
is where i get
lost the most
I can't find refuge
not even in my own head

I studied your face
from below
as your tears
fell through me
and onto the floor
I wanted to comfort you
but I knew
I would only leave you
trembling
and scared of the dark

You were craving warmth
and I hated how
I made you shiver

I can see you
inside the closet
as I watch you from
under the covers
your eyes peak out
through the darkness
hiding
and I can tell you know I'm
scared
I know you're
there
I can see you

(now read up)