It's 2:34 a.m. and you're not here with me tonight,
For all the days and nights I used to talk to you alright,
For all the parts of me you didn't see right,
And for all the mixed signals and now dimmed light..

To a universe full of wishes,
Full of hopes and dreams turned for a blind eye.
Times we were alone and hopeful..
Here's for us, once we never wished we'd end with a sigh.

Love can stare right at me
Tell me all its secrets and deepest desires
Love can kiss me and hold me
Yet I still teach myself to ignite a fire.

Love can be reading a book,
Solving a problem, or distance.
Love can tell me I'm beautiful..
Or it can teach me how to dance.

Now it's 3:13 am
I don't know why I don't see you alone
For what it's worth?
I can't stop staring at my phone.

For all the little things and the biggest smiles,
For your unprecedented touch and unknown feelings..
For the words I wish I can say,
It was 2:34 am when I didn't want you leaving.

For so long I've wondered how
Dreadful would it be
For me to forget how complicated
Things are between
You and my thoughts
At 12 am, caressing a cigarette.

Darling, you were the song to my music,
The dreaded prince to my long gone story
Of whatever happiness this world
Made me believe.

As I speak the words of longing,
My eyes wander to the stars,
Hoping you'd hear the hints of my
Bottled up emotions.

I am leaking.
Leaking with fear, self doubt.
I don't want to bleed
Bitter memories, ugly utterances of
How miserable it is
To love you.

I am spinning in one place,
Trying to stay, trying to heal
The cracks of my broken
Faith in you.

I love you, darling I do.
Even if I have bottled emotions that I'll never show you.

For even days, months, or years,
I see the world as if it was another plane,
A plane for curiosity, pain, and joy.

I breathe in simple air, as if my lungs were embedded with the same spark of freedom.

Though I walk with silver heels, as if I float along with my golden gown,
I never thought of thinking,
"How would it be amazing if my demons were in twined  with your angels?"

I look at you, as if your lips were the treasures I want to seek,
The life in your eyes takes me beyond than what I would think doing.

I touch you with a simple graze yet it is enough for me to pound myself into reality.

Though your arms were as gentle as the pillows I seek at night, I see to it that my heart is caged in a box, unless you shoot me a glare to think otherwise.

My dear, you are the best escort of the day.
I laugh at the idea that I am here, wishing to dance with your grace,
Wishing to learn to move with my demons craving for more,
And to the idea that your angels will never mine as someone much more.

It was never easy,
To love and maybe find somebody
Who would love
The whole.

What was unique?
You may ask with small verses
And even with rhymes.
But it was never easy
To fall, to tilt or to even glance
Right at the person you knew was enough.


It was never easy,
To stand up, look up and even breathe,
Because maybe you think that
Someday in this dark world,
There would someone
Enough for you.
And who would be
Satisfied with who you are.

But, for me, it was never easy,
thinking that someday, he would love someone more than I could.
And maybe in that someday, we are both in each other's arms, wishing that was never today.

And it was never easy,
to heal your wounds, scratch the old skin, form a new life..
But all of that pain and suffering,
Offers a brighter tomorrow.


And maybe in that someday,
*You'll find the love that was always yours.

After a year, you talk
Like I was
Already alright.

I am. I am now better.

But I was enough
For you to think
That you have
Enough ears, enough eyes
To look at you.
feel you
Touch you


I was mesmerized
By the idea
That you were
More than enough...

You were a dream.
were..

I should be happy,
I should be okay

maybe these are the same thoughts in your pretty little head

Thing is I'm okay
I'm alright

I'm better now.

**Alive.

She is so beautiful.
The way she writes the letters
That will make your
Heart skip a beat.

Then I realized.

*I can never make you
Love me
Like the way
She did to you.

There is love.

And love is said to be beautiful.
Spontaneous.
Ever so lovely.

But when I look at you,
Do you hear me saying that you should stay away?

Do you hear me begging
That you should keep me
Astray..

my dear love.

All I ever did was pound you,
hurt you
And
Ever
So
Simply...

Ignore you..

My love..
Can't you see?
I'm not that innocent girl
You used to see..

My lovely fellow,
How can't you know?
Sticking around beside me
Makes me wanna blow (explode)?

Fair human..
What do you see..
I'm afraid to say..
We're not meant to be..

My dear lover...
Do you need to know?
That my knees are bleeding
For you to go...

I'm such an evil person,
Of course you'd say no..
But whenever we hiss,
You tell the written sins that you know..

I know who I am..
And I'm not proud, you see?
I'm not perfect either,
Like you. Who doesn't see?

Not just that..
Other parties contradict..
You don't know how much I loved you..
They don't know that they make me sick..

My faithful friend,
What can you do?
How can it stop
*When you're loving me too..

Knowing everything
From the very start.
Made me feel smart.

But there is one thing
That I'd say to the old me..

Your mind now wonders
To the mistakes you've done
Then you see yourself
There could only be one.

I am now in silence.
Waiting for a response.
I've deactivated my accounts,
to see if anyone will respond.

Now what I call family,
Is now a question of mine.
Do you guys really care?
Or someone just have to speak up
for them to share?

I now questions my friendships
with the ones I have now.
I suppose only a few
will ask
**how am I now

Pain is better than
Nightmares.
Nightmares are better than
Fear.
Because with fear,
You can't start living.

Pain is the general way of how are
You going to get through life.

There are many different kinds
Of pain.

Nightmares are your subconscious
Weakness.
You'll get it when you're
Asleep,
Eventually haunting you.

Fear is a foe of many.
Fear is haunting you
Whether you're awake or asleep.
Fear is something that will
Drive everything
In the first place.

Fear trigger nightmares and pain.
Fear is the result of nightmares and pain.

Fear drives the nightmares.
Nightmares gives your pain.
Your pain is your fear.

Should I go back
to that tiny tinsel town
where you and I first met?
Should I go back to that place,
after everything I've done,
to where I know that you are waiting?

Should I keep these little notes?
All from the corners of dinner napkins.
Or the little gifts you make?
Every inch filled with joyous bait.

Taking me back, and forward,
and in every direction
as long as I knew it would lead to you,
and every road lead to you.

But each step I take,
Knowing that it's you,
Makes me wonder how
Important my presence is to you..

And here, I realize
that I matter.
For you have kept me even
with my faults.
and there are many,
but they were never too much for you.

So I sit here, in the middle of the road.
Probably waiting for you
To come to me this time,
To see if you love me as much as I do.

And the cars,
and the people,
and the sounds
that I see,
and hear,
and witness
add up to that moment.

The air, the mist,
The little birds that fly.
The towers, the windows,
Contribute to our
Little scenes
That go by.

And my breath never caught,
nor my soul ever faltered,
for I knew, without a doubt
that you would come for me.

Now, I see,
Your graceful glance
Now turns into a stare,
No hate but love.
Not a word about little despair.

And in that moment,
with the wind in your hair,
with streetlights shining
like stars everywhere,
I see everything clearly.

I see your eyes filled with delight.
But your hands shaking with fear.
I can assure you, love,
I can hug you right here.

I will hurt you no longer,
I will stay always near.
Believe me when I say
that with you, I am happy here.

I touch your skin,
so fair and soft.
You now see me smile,
Like you are the one after all.

And I knew, without a word,
that you will always be here for me.

Now let's go forth and let the
world know
How precious love is
From

You and me

*Together.

It's so easy..
To find
Those beautiful eyes,
To love
That flawless skin,
To hold
That gentle hand,
To look
At her beauty.

It's so easy..
To prepare
Colorful flowers,
To write
Little notes,
To sing
Romantic songs,
To cherish,
Sweet moments.

Like in a room
Full of flowers
Smelling like
Heaven.
You prance around
Admiring the
beauty. The flowers
Are more than
What you can
Ask for.

But that heaven is temporary.

Those flowers will
Wilt.
Those stems
Will crumble
And petals
Will fall.
The leaves
Will be dead
Like there was nothing
At all.

It's so easy..
To find
Another soul,
To love
Another feature.
To hold
A different moment
To look
At the present.

It's so easy..
To prepare
For the future,
To write
To another,
To sing
A different note
To cherish
The present joy.

It's so easy
to fall in-love..
But not so easy
to *stay.

I'm just a girl
With the usual smile,
Usual laugh
Even the typical
red lipstick and mascara.

I'm just
the usual girl
with a Twitter account,
Instagram,
and Facebook.

But you know,
all these things
are not so worth it..

Not unless,
I use these for you
to
notice me,
cherish me,
adore me
and maybe..
Just maybe...

Love me.

It's your look,
the way you dress,
your tweets
flicks a heart string.

But sometimes,
ignites a spark within me.

It's is for the best.
But what if the best is not for me?

Look at me.
And tell me
you're still here.

Boy,
I ain't over you..

*Not now..
Not yet..

Touch their little face,
With every trace of faith.

Marvel their beauty,
Tell them they're the perfect lily.

Hold their hand with comfort,
Let them know their worth.

Dance with them tonight,
Guide them into the light.

Kiss them with every bit of love,
With a rhythm of a song to be sung.

Their hands, their hair, their heart.
Oh, what a happy treasure to part.

Whisper empty promises.
To let them know, nonetheless.

Smile with a charm,
Not knowing their sacred harm.

Stare into their eyes, let them see,
Of what kind of demon you can be.

Mesmerized and horrified,
Yet, they still believes the lies of thy bet.

Now leave without a word,
Like a swipe of a silent sword.

They'll seek and find you,
*Howling to the moon behind you.

Every time I opened the door,
You were there.
You smiled, laughed.
Cared and hugged.

You were there
To kick me up,
Pull me closer,
And silenced my inner demons.

I was here.
Clinging to said promises,
Breathing sweet air,
Your authentic scent.

Now where are you?
The cold air kissing my nose,
Hugging my body,
Emptying the warmth of sweet hope.

Shall I keep
The spaces
Between my fingers
Warm?

I'll wait 'til I find you.
'Til I find my own solace.
Reunited in my arms,
*Your sweet embrace.

Though our worlds never met
And that love of yours never reached my depths
I want you to see that I've always known
I've always waited, always looked, always was happy.

And now that there's this new chapter of hate
yet another chance.
I want you to know know that
I admired your little efforts.

Though, knowing I'm not right for you,
I let you do these things of eros.
Now that you see the truth,
I want you to love again.

With smiles, with pure happiness.
But not of mine,
But for the person who's going to make you happy.
Happier than I can ever manage,

*My dear friend.

Fell in-love
with
the wind.
Never
saw
him
**again.

You had to be there
To kiss me
To love me
And
To hold..
You had to be there
*To leave me
To hurt me
At the depths
So cold..

Every fantasy I claim,
Feeds up my own
little Flame.

What if I kept on walking on the left side of sea people?
What if I ignored that group of people?
What if I kept on walking on the pavement rather than pausing at one corner?
What if I scurried away, held more tight of the books I've been carrying to bring home from school?
What if I walked straight ahead and didn't glance at any direction at all?

Then I would be bumping into somebody else.
I would be looking at someone else.
I would be admiring someone else.
I would be talking to someone else, having a delightful conversation, exchanging information and smiles.
And I might as well be looking back at someone else, waving good-bye and probably enjoy the next days, months, years with him.

*What if all of those things did happen, and yet I still chose you?