My friend got to see you
Just not too long ago.
Told me
Your not as handsome
And amazing
As I said.

I stared at her
A million reasons
Why you where all those things
And more
Shot through my brain.
But all I could say is.
"I love him"

How can I tell her
That I see the stars in your eyes
And they keep me in place when I feel as though I may fall?

How can I possibly explain
The feeling of delight I feel hearing your voice
The pull on my heart I feel
Seeing your face.

How can I say
"He's my best friend"
When you're so much more.

If I said
"he's my reason for breathing,
For getting up in the morning
For not giving up.
He's my everything."
It'd be the truth
But very little of it.

There's so much I wanna say.
Many are just fragments I can't fit together just yet.
But I like the feeling of speechlessness
You've given me.

Till then just know.
My friend thinks you're ugly
But to me your everything but.

She sits, she sings, she talks.
She ponders, she thinks, she worries.
She loves, she loses, she mopes.
             She lost,
                             Her Love.
                                            The Distance...

She falls, she yearns, she needs.
She wants, she sees, she feels.
She embraces, she holds, she engulfs.
             His touch,
                             His essance,
                                            He's everything...

She's falling,
                         in a new love.
She's losing,
                        her old love.
She's running,
                                                       pushing them away.
She's building,
                     walls for them to tear.
She wants,
                    to see who cares enough.
She needs,
                                                       them to tear the walls.

She's falling, falling, falling...
                                      She's feeling, embracing, falling...

                      Does he even know?

i miss you like a lunar eclipse.
you dont cross my mind 364 days out of 365
but every four years
a total eclipse of my thoughts
occur

and on burning cold nights
lonely witching hour
does my mind wander so
remembering soft touches
and melting whispers
fleeting feelings
and lingering lips

frustration clouds my memories
like fog wisping across the moon
shadows and doubts created in its
absence that are
only visible once in a blue moon

I'm sorry that I am
so rough around the edges
I get frightened so easily
and I'm torn apart by how insecure I can be
I don't mean to be
so rough around the edges
I know you love me and
I know you've healed my wounds
I'm sorry that I am
so rough around the edges
constantly asking if you love me
constantly feeling I am not good enough
I just need you to know
I know it's not your fault
It was never my intention to be
so rough around the edges
I am traumatized by a life I wish
I never had
I wish to delete
everything but you
then maybe I wouldn't be
so rough around the edges
-m.a.

I know who I am
but I don't know why I feel the things that I feel
I don't wanna feel them
I want them to go away

I wanna feel okay
with myself
with people
with him
I wanna feel right
I need to feel like this is all going away
this feeling in my stomach
that something is wrong and is not getting better
that I'm not ever going to be free of this things I feel

these emotions
they drag me down and I know I shouldn't apologize but I feel so inappropriate
I know the world doesn't revolve around me
but I still feel
like everything is my fault
like I'm being a burden
even when I'm asleep