Hesitation in all the things i need to
say
Letting go like three yellow butterfly
wings

wind doesnt move me like it used to flickering candle bought for hope, who
Is remedy of sugargoods and drinking? --being alone when you get home.
I miss the feeling of comfort fooling me
As if this dream would last all daylong
Regurgitating validation like song
As if i actually believed in us.
While you are too busy
Romanticizing worth.  

Life- i am in love with you
But i hear you are insane
So I sleep in

Tonight while trying to sleep
It finally occurred to me
You need change
To create memories.
Some people like those things
Usually when they are good
Make you smile force you to laugh
It seems most people like bad ones
Just look at all that pain
All that panic in the streets
Not in the whole wild world
Ive been places where there is only






And the rain always brings change
Especially in those places ive been
Where there are no streets- and
I cant easily move my mattress
Out into my own front room
Near my balcony , prop my door open
And listen to it drizzling into memory
Of me lying there pretending like
Im trying to sleep somewhere there is





.......

Her body is endless , stars sinking seas
Two blurring lines, too many drinks
When the risk comes in milligrams
The night , at some point seems
endless
My head spinning,
Behind the face I
would never show my friends
Could this really work ,
Will it change anything

It started out such a great day
And Oh how it ends
Wait God
Wait

Wake
Wake up

Wait God
Wait

I went everywhere in my dream.
I went to the past and saw the future
Took pictures of my old house,
Realized how haunted the neighborhood that I grew up in was.
I took your best friend to my old back yard. Just to dance with her again
I confessed my undying love like it wasn't a problem. And when I turned
She was wind, and I had to cut the air with a blade just for Satans protection.
I ran back inside and packed my old books and kept deciding on which ones to leave behind.
The way the new owners rushed me out
Like time was a decision not worth noting
We drove to a new state, with new faces
And I used my phone to communicate
With my first unrequited love.
How i still want her , but no longer care for her. The way i used to want to hold her sensually ,when i was a ******
Now a primal urge to answer her proposition with the most careless of
"Sure"s
I asked her if it was a dream and the way she said it "could be" made it feel more real.
And after one of the mamma cats died
Leaving all the babies for one tabby to feed
I realized that life is ...
And all i can do is love the runts
Untill they are burried , and then the love changes to a past tense

One magpie on my balcony
makes me finally begin to feel
I am in the need of company from
Either the only thing that is real
Benign life being alone aloof or
To morn a dark separate from night in my sleep it took away from my eyes
All of my best years with a symphony
Of skeletal men set on high
Stabbing and singing me
These death lullabies
Howling my bones away
Hollow as child's play
One magpie Singing me to sleep

And the songbird gives me hope
When sleep offers no home
Waking up hours before the end of the day

Bodies abolished
Floating souls
Space wind
Spirit bones
Waiting hidden
Beyond blackness
Wherein darkhails
Find Yourself