I'm trying to be positive
y'know?
I'm trying to smile with my teeth
I'm trying to find things in the world beautiful.
I'm trying to be happy
y'know?
Because maybe I'll be happy enough
To love again.
I'm trying.
I promise.

Up a lot in my life
This week
Because my mind
cannot handle
being alone
even when it's not
and now ive pushed
everything away
and maybe
if I keep pressing
enter
on this ******* keyboard
maybe this will look like a poem
Maybe I will feel like a human
Maybe I wont cry every night
just because
That's all that feels
okay.
But I'm not okay
I am alone
and I am alone
and I am alone.

I have found myself
With crystals up my nose
and your tongue down my throat.
They're the same thing, really.
When we're together, I'm happy
But the second we're not,
my heart doesn't know how to beat.

I want to ignore you because it's easier
I want to love you because I miss it.
I want you to love me
Because I can't love myself.
I want to be your One because thats who I was born to be
Some people know that they were destined to be doctors or lawyers
I know that I was born to be yours.

I will drown
in whiskey like
I drowned
in you
I will tear
my heart to shreds
ripping the same seams
you sewed yourself in through
I will kiss goodbye
Like your lips kissed my thighs
They say the end is 6 feet under
but mine is only 25.4 ounces away

your cigarette smoke
floats into my lungs
and out chokes
everything i meant to tell you
hours ago
when things could get better

but now your cigarette smoke
took a year off of my life
and a chunk of my heart
as i suffocate
under your presence

I know a girl who cut her hair short
My freshman year
Because a boy had pulled it so hard it
tore out her heart

I know a girl who cut her wrists
When we were in 8th grade
Because her mind was not good enough
For her boyfriend.

I know a girl who cut class
My sophomore year
To ***** a senior
Who had ****** every girl in the school
"except me" she said
"We make love" She said.

"We were great" She said.

"We weren't meant to be." She says.