I don't like loud music anymore
Because the Beach Boys
Up to the highest volume
Was what you used to
drown my cries
that Sunday night

I don't like loud music anymore
Because I don't know
When you'll snap again
and I'll have to lock my doors
In fear of you hurting me.

I guess the Beach Boys
and locked doors
Don't explain how you treat me
And they never will.
But maybe someday
I'll be able to

listen to loud music
Because I will no longer fear the pain
Of your words and your hands
and your mind.  

Dad.

I want to sip from the same cigarette
I want you to unzip my dress
We're suicidal but we're set
Lets get room and just forget.

I'm shivering of cold
and I don't know if it's the fan
turned on in my room
or rather
the absence of you

She must've gotten tired
of slicing her wrists with razors
And setting fire to her skin
So she burned herself on lovers
And cut herself on friends

I buy how-to books on a lot of things
How to cook
How to clean
How to host a dinner party

I know how to love
and how to make 3 cheese lasagna
and how to remove stains
But I do not know how to hate

I wish I had a book
on how to loathe people who hurt me
Written for dummy's
or by Martha Stewart

You hurt me.
But I cant hate you.
For I don't have a book on how to be mad
at you.

And so I will never learn.
Because I will forever
and I will always
be in the wrong.

Heights
Im afraid of heights
They asked me what made me shake
And I just told them heights
But really, really truly,
I must say thats a lie
I am scared of falling
From the cliffs or from the sky
Or maybe really, truly,
Into someones mind
Because everyday I think of us
And how we used to be
Heights dont truly make me shake
Just the absence of you and me

Hurting you would take years to get over
Id drown from guilt and tears
Darling if I were to hurt you
Trust me I'd never write again
because the words
I would jot down
On that napkin I picked up from Starbucks
Would never be as sweet
As you had been to me.