its hard for us to speak as we feel.

but a poem has no rules to keep,
no untruth to shake us from our sleep.

no one to tell me i'm crazy when I repeat
the same words like a broken broken broken record,
or when I string them o ut
                   in
      nonsensi cal pa
                                 tter
                                        ns
like those girls out on the street,
because these words can bend and SCREAM.

no one ever said poetry is s'pos to make sense
just s'pos to be free
spoken from the unedited souls
of you and me


-e.r.n.

I'm so scared.

I'm so scared of what you will mean to me at 4:00 in the morning,
when I get to thinking most about my life
and that much thinking
can't possibly be alright.

I'm scared that maybe you are just a mirror of 2014,
an illusion made for laughing at all of us
who think maybe we can do better this time.
This time we'll change for sure.
This is it.

And 2015, dear friend,
I'm scared that maybe this time I won't make it
to the hopeful beginning of 2016
When I can say again with conviction
that this is the year we'll be great.

Yes, we will be legendary.

This is it.

That smell
of burning skin
like the way I felt when lying
on the bathroom floor

is not the same
as the hollow places
when I take up only a fraction
of the vastness in these bedsheets

but the worst part
is that metallic taste
of bitter end
with every single breath I take

when I can't shake off
the sheets of blood
or knowledge
of what I've become.

We promised we will never turn back;
You broke it through finding someone better than me.

We promised we will never cheat;
You broke it because you find me not enough.

We promised we will never leave;
You broke it Because you already did.

I'm sorry if I missed you and
its okay if you don't.

I'm sorry if I loved you so much;
And its okay if you haven't love me enough.

I'm sorry I cared;
And it's okay if you don't.

I'm sorry I'm just simple;
And it's okay if you let me down.

I'm sorry I accepted you;
And it's okay for abandoning me.

I love you, maybe it's time to leave,
But I won't because my heart will bleed.