you hate us when we don't abide
you hate us when we do what you don't like
when reality is - you don't have our eyes
and despite your efforts, they shine

They wanted to **** us because
like a mirror to their hidden wrongs,
we showed them their own scars and burns

you robbed us from us
and you punished us with death
cloaked as care
and those who did, weren't there
They didn't get the gist, I guess
if only love here had crept -

why you deem me unworthy to be lived?
you don't know my Sun, how it is related
to my tears
You don't ******* know me, or what goes within
you take my words from my lips and twist it at your whim

if only love had appeared in the scene
not your weak, dispossesed pity, but a strong warmth feel

psychiatric care inmates, my dears
we are in the same ship
the only way out of here,
the way out from this ****,
is to show ourselves
we still live, we are here
take over their boring streets

You say we aren't human, sure we aren't.
We are the superhumans you were looking for,
but turns out, you were ******* blind.

We'll haunt you, those of us who got killed
by your cold hand, but many of us are still there
and better yet - Don't mourn us.
Just go out on the street and scream out, get drunk,
live up, recklessly ****,
the way we couldn't, for our mouths were shut down.

She's a big ****** from somewhere else
Look at her hair and her UFO dress
She breathes bountiful chaos
listen to her gleeful wails!
Distilling her pain into yet unheard yells
Will she get what she craves, what she deserves?

Not many letters for her address
(she has my 2 cents)
No big names, the fame?
hasn't come yet
She's a gem
because no one found her yet
She needs no polishing; she's so raw
let her stay
She's a story of her own, even if she fails
Beauty of losing, it never breaks

This beast inside - hungry for fame!
(hungry for something that won't fill her chest
because she's empty and
she only wants to get ahead)
won't get her way - I am not allowing her

in my creation, she's the shade
she ***** the blood out of everyone -
but mostly herself
she's drained, she craves

this beast inside - **** her with kindness
she's only just there - accept her today
she aches, too

We are the weird recepcionists!
Sassy, strange flair - for your clean office!
Wild flowers - in a vase
Shape-shifting - for the day

Thinking about God,
thinking about it all
when I am in my own
Your chit chat makes me mad
But I am a mingling alien lass

Yet - can you see me?
see me glow?
Between these post-its and receipts
The fireflies around here

Shape-shifting - wearing a disguise
it doesn't **** me under because I know
what it does
can you feel me? not that I care
Flowers tamed - for a portion of the day
Tamed? More like paused, in the make
Waiting to be released, to come out and play
(This is a disguise, the most comfortable
I could find, I don't dislike it. But it's not who I am)
watch me off duty, committing to myself
watch me in the desk, a confetti bomb
ticking away!

I did it to run from pain
but the pain was still there
And that's how tragedy begets
even if I was not aware
All good and all evil
come from this escapade
Sometimes
you get lost in a dance so intense

That dim obliterating shade
being inexistent, zero, still was there!
That dim obliterating shade
I could not bear

I did it to shut down my brain
it takes our whole lives, this running away
from the cradle to the grave
we are chasing dreams, we are escaping death
(and it is our noblest sin)
and it is right. it is fine.
Just make sure you do it okay.
Do not flee to not come back again.
It's all about reality. Make sure you stay.
In the ever Sun, in the middle lands,
a magic bolt right through your head,
do not forsake yourself

We are here to make sense
in the most ultimate way!
We lose it - thinking we will gain
Do not leave your body - rather wait
And now I admit there was a small ache,
it seems to dissolve, like wonderfully fade.
Last famous words - Let the flow overtake!

Poetry might have left me today,
but not joy, I say.
My words run dry but I bloom inside.
Poetry lives now within.
Everything clear - nothing and all to speak
Inmanent poetry - everywhere I see

Two ways to lose your head:
in joy, or in pain
Being the feverish, cheeky fool,
or indulge in
self-destructive moods!

You think it's about deep or shallow.
You are at your most profound,
when you smile wide

I know what I choose.
I don't mind madness anymore.
I mind meaningless ache.
But if I have to accept or reject,
I know what I do.
I choose midnight long talks
and a million kisses and a million hugs
I choose being too high without drugs...
I choose feeling frequencies, I choose lush
I choose losing my mind, to find me back

To be nuts till the end,
but squeezing the fruit
to lick its juice
instead of blades.

***** hair - but I am not there
Crying in the kitchen - I need help
Alternate universe - dissociate
what's this - it tears at me,
can't be tamed, it won't fade

A shy razor on my arm
I can't do this; because it hurts
but I need the world to blow up
because into this catatonia
I could burst

I cannot feel my body - or my soul
it's all gone - I drown, in my thoughts,
I have no kind of control
I can't listen, I can't talk. The pain is everywhere.
I froze. I move nervously, restless, but I won't rest
because now, it's all the same
because I can't stop
oh God what's wrong?!
I can't take it anymore!
let me catch my breath, I sigh,
I will make it alright,
by ******* the venom in the wound
I still can't stop! I can't take it anymore!
I fell, once again!

Let me catch my breath, and I did.
A gate opens, lets go all of this.
And your honey kiss is placed
where I left it before the storm
raged in me, this devil switch,
this unexplainable thing

I am getting ready so the storm
never breaks what I love most

They raise you
as a baby, they put mosquito nets
around you not to get stung
because they care
they want to cry when they first
see your face

but it's easy to love someone with no identity
a potentiality, someone without eyes
it's pure, indeed, but I don't want it for me
I see the cracks on the dream,
because the cracks are in my skin

and also, they are deeply afraid
of who you become
when you acquire these eyes
of your own
they are paralyzed, in shock
the tales they bought for you
with their guts bought!
and you need no prince,
and you just need to be free...

Our worlds are light years apart,
but this is it, what it is like, no turning back
So away. We'll never be friends.
Let us not converge. Too much at stake.

Yet they celebrate undercover your smile -
even if they don't really get why
yet they care, still, in a very strange way!

it's true they were your kings most of the time
when you were a baby, you couldn't imagine
this would be your life
and neither do they, in fact
but now we are the same, and we can look each other
in the eye...and you thank them for the effort,
the love that led you astray, the love that wanted you safe
even if you never aspired to such
even if you are the challenge they never asked for

late nights at your job
******* ****
on my polka dot dress
(we both loved it so)
taking photographs of graffiti
on these proletarian walls
our first pizza and some of our first kisses
you look so **** on camera
and even sexier now dear
I wish I could ******* here
your shy hand on mine
a rising sun, a rising sun
all of this takes me somewhere
and I know this was the right way

can you see me?
because
in front of you
i don't dare to speak
but can you feel
my silent rebellion seep?
if you won't be here
I want you to
at least not interfere

My heart is on fire - that I do love
but when my *****'s on fire, I love it more
This is what I craved to be - your ****
This is my wish - what I need, a long repressed
"set me free" all over me

This is me - short skirt,
and begging for (your) ****
My fantasies breed - you're the man I pick
I am not sorry about my moans
and all of my wet thoughts
I am not sorry about none, I am not sorry
for love

Watch the city breathe heavily,
she's excited, yearns to live
I can feel it in the faces of those
around me, and also
in this intense craving I've got
the Christmas chiaroscuro,
these lights beaming in the dark
because today everything is warm
There is a beauty about today
Channeled through my guts

I am about to burst
in gleam and shine
and a certain burning desire
And everyone is under the same sign
or is it me, letting out my inner stars?

Feel your lips on my neck,
a tiny taste of our hidden heaven
**** on your Oreo milkshake
good metaphor for the day

And you do help to feel the beam
but the beam is growing everywhere!
inside of myself

Watch me going to sleep
in the embrace of your kiss
in the embrace of the eternal
Christmas glee, our will to be
despite the tragedy we're in

Watch me! I ain't who I was
I am who I've always been

You turn your head - you can't believe it's me
I can't either believe - I got freed
Watch me proud in the streets
Watch my madness gone sweet
My madness gone the right way, finally

What the **** do I do here?
Surrounded by kids
Feeling strangely at home
but I can't belong
I was born much before

You like my Melanie Martinez attire
and gravitate towards me
(it makes me feel shy)
You're so beautiful - you poor fools
so new, just like me, Sleeping Beauty on a spree
Here's my tip - stay hungry, dear
Your endless comments, your strive to be free
I don't know where you all are. You're growing up.
I hope you all are getting some. I hope you come.

These evenings I painted the world
Artist grey beret and you crazy kids all around
And I was silent, hearing you talk
I did not know what to do, but it was good
enough to make me stay

Allow no simmering down of your universe
You're boiling, do it forever, kids

Let me rest
in our bubble
and allow no trouble

A bubble is lifting
me and you
above
their stress and their rage
now, we don't really care
the bubble - we are safe

The bubble might be weird
like you and me
but it's home, you see
it's all I really need

The bubble bursts
so the question is
did I cut my nails before?
I hear voices howl yet
a bubble is something to fight for

Our bubble is not made of soap
thin, making your eyes red
it is magic-enhanced glass
it breaks not at none of my blows
thickened with loving use,
like kintsugi cups

can I go to the bubble with you again?
can I never leave the place?

I shut myself
Because it all hurted
too much
did I make it ache?
I have no clue yet

I felt us die
so I grabbed the knife
Before it harms me
I'll harm it myself

So many thoughts that poison
and I can't turn them off
they promise to save me from this
but all they do is making me bleed
always the same with ******* saviors

Is life keeping me from life
in a twist where my very smile
keeps me tied?
To his side

Love is not a prison,
even if sweet
For in prison you can't feel
Love is a thread you do
because it's natural for you to knit
Love is a path carved with kiss

So I will let the waves drive me home
I'll grab my clothes and sail on
to my arcane knowledge of the world
to the remedy that always works, and also
to your arms

There's no God when there's no fear
Yet his true face does appear
You can be sure; if you **** fear
you won't **** a real God
(s)he is everywhere
(s)he is love

The hunger breaks
takes what it's hers
fills with desire
and now creates regret
I need his touch
(only thing in the world,
if stripped from anything else)

Hunger repressed but looming there
it makes no common or uncommon sense
the guilt lashes out at me
still I sigh and wish
but ah! the Emperor stings
with his plan stiff
but he's gone, he's kicked
he's put to rest for better things

In art I found
my pain had a place in the world
and that way, it dissappeared,
it got blown
it got healed, even if slow

Art is not life
And life is not art
but hear me out

every true heart beat
and every fake one too
it's art you leave there
is it any good?

Magic
is real
and you know it too
you've felt it already
but she hides
from everyone

Everything is so drenched on it
we do not realize
that magic is not outside
of this world
it is this world, so please don't stop
your fumbling around

Magic is your lover's kiss
when you're about to cry
magic is a roaring sea
suddenly getting all calm
Magic is someone covering your tracks
Magic is that silent tune filling suddenly these lungs
Magic is...every day's Sun

Magic is that sudden connection
you can guess but you can't explain
yet it is there
give in to its power, its subjective strength

you are the universe and
The universe does speak
but is it you or him you do hear?
It does not want to interfere
It says, "dare to be free"

Magic is that tiny star
that fills the whole sky
Everyone seeking her out
but she's been there all the time
There's magic in thee
if you just let it breathe

Got blackened with fear
while I tried hard
to focus on your kiss
but the thing is
you have to fly free,
life is an imperative,
and you must listen to it

healed in my sleep
with your love filled
healed by peace
I want to catch it,
once I did

I know - it's all my mind's scheme
but it will lead me somewhere
and I hope it's far away from here
far from yesterday's ****

The devil was you,
I used to think to myself it was true
but it was growing in me too
It took on my soul
And no matter how much I rioted
or acted up
I was hostage
of a sick world
In fact, I acted up because I knew I would lose
but I wouldn't have lost maybe
except for you
You aren't poisonous but you and I
like toxic waste react
And letting you take over me
is to lose again a created war

Sixteen
Not again, please

The signals are clear
I can see them, they are here
Steering wheel, take me far from this
My words collapse, and so do I
Life's a struggle - where you gotta have fun

Sixteen
I won't let you back in
Fear - get gone, *******
Caution - don't turn into fear
(Don't turn to anger, just let me be
Get convinced - get carried by the tune
you hear)

I was okay, I was alright
Until I dared to look into these eyes
Got ****** under, got dried
got lost, got tied
They bit and clawed onto mine
Slowly but suddenly - invaded
convinced, possessed
by that great unknown
I run away from
your mind

Bored - of all this ****
Please God free me
Give me what I need
I'm on my toes, you see?

I am tired of waiting
Of nervously pacing
around the house
around my head
I have marks in my wrists
still I break the chains

I am bored
I am ready to burn
in a free release
form
Let me break
Let me become

I am bored
but not ready
to give up

Angela and Lester
thought it was crazy, stupid, true love
spoiler: it was not

It was grabbing hold
of anything at hand
It was desperation
it was life stuck

In a parallel world
Lester isn't dead
and Angela is not under his embrace
not anymore, she's outgrown

Angela built a life with another man
And Lester and her still do chat,
they crafted something across time
it's not love, it's not lust
it's a weird connection that survives
we met when we were lonely souls
and now we're way less lost

find comfort in a lover's hand
find comfort in an unshakeable ground
it's easy when you just walk around
making your way as you go yet
sure of what you want

Reality seems to divert and distort
- when you and I speak
I am confused and can't see straight
but reality never died away
him and me exist

He loves me - I love him back
So what? So what?
Armed with that peace
I will pave my way to the stars.

Everything's gonna be alright
I will slip through the cracks
to meet you at night
They never understood - it's okay,
I'm fine

In freedom you can thrive
you can expand these wings and finally
fly
in freedom you'll reach your peak
but freedom could make you
bruised and a bit
confused, (you see)
but you are free to be,
so just be

freedom is the sweet risk
you need to find what you need
so don't yearn for the chains
instead, run wild till your feet ache
only in freedom does love grow

lovesick girl you will find a home
freedom is soft and freedom is tough
lovesick girl forget what you’ve been taught
burn the wedding dress, set fire to your soul
jump into this pool of strange love!
this gift that leaves you sore
open, born

A contract with a God I signed
A contract with the wide skies
I was a knot - all tense and *******

And I came happily undone
and it feels this twitch is the toll
Hey you ******! Whoever you are
I am neutering you, I am keeping you down
I'm marching for the Sun
Was it Prometheus or was it God?
I paid the price full for those
hidden magic pills
This is the small penalty for being free
Dystonia - for a perfect fit

Those are my racing thoughts
That's my guilt, my rabies, my hopeless love
My freedom tears me up but I need it most

Together with you
through all the trouble
because of the trouble
despite the trouble!

I cheated on him with you - why?
I wonder, while we are taking flight
the guilt kicks in, and I think
about how much I hate you, but it's not real
what I hate is I might get caught
I'm repentant but persistent on my sins

You're a deaf beat
on my heart
I don't want to listen, but you're around
You're the articulating sound
and the disconcerting tune

And woe of a sudden
forgets my name
(and I forget hers)
when the blood drips down my legs
"I am safe now"
I am saved, am I?
I ran away to London
and it was so nice
Yet you can't run away from life

Burn!
Burn bright and be a flame

(sure it will make some scared)
Destroy the fetters around your neck!

Fire - the element of warmth
It burns, it burns, in a blaze
or in your home fireplace
but still the same,
does not lose its strength
Domesticity is only learnt
Domesticity - one of my many shades

Take scraps from everywhere,
build yourself with the ashes left
(a rascal with a golden heart)
Burn the chains! Let their shedding
illuminate the way
Dance between the smoke, please don’t choke

Create from your inner heat

unmeasurable degrees

be fed by the world’s steam

Burn everything you need

Give that fire to what makes you feel.

Nymphets like me grow up,
and guess what?
I am not any scared or scarred
In a parallel world,
Angela invited Lester to her wedding day
and it's realer than death
There's nothing to heal - no sight of old pain

Am I really strong?
I am not sorry - I am not hurt
Even if I did break a few hearts
This nymphet got a job and she dyed her hair
She got to her destination -
but she's not done yet!

And I might have to leave
all of those nymphet, stylish things
no more daddies on the scene
but my inner fire still burns deep
let me resignify what I mean
when I wear my heart shaped glasses
when I feel all pink
that's eternal, it has no age or anything

It's true, I am not ******* anymore.
Isn't that a whole lot more fun?
I am a full woman now
and I am not backing down
(I always was this, waiting to come out)
So I look in the mirror,
and my inner nymphet eyes back,
"you're doing fine, I am proud of who you are"

A dream left - now comes back
If it was true, then it never died
I was only 16 and I was on the brink
I could faintly feel - I had dreams!
Of boys and girls and going places
and running wild and free
Was it real? was it make-believe?
It was, it wasn't - get used to it

She's resurfacing, her old shape
with a cleansed core
I am re-born
but it does not feel any worn
Eternal and old

And mom and me ate Chinese that night
And I got ***** thinking about you and I
And the sweet ghost of *** hovered around
and I wasn't distraught!
I wear warm sweaters because I feel cold
Can you help me take it off?

Bitter honey - and ham and cheese
Was I cognizant then? Of everything?
Still in the dark - still a ****** dressed in black
But a dim light, a dim hope that now catches back
Half-mourning, half-awake, half-alive
Everything comes back in time, waits for the time
to be ripe

Talk a lot
eat a lot
**** a lot
This is the path to heaven
get born!

Be excessive in your thirst;
all willing, all open, all craving
all juicy, all glossy, all big
if you have to be addicted
let it be to this thrill

Sing a lot, laugh a lot, sleep a lot
and wake up next to the one you love!
Grow roots while rooted in now
be a perpetual teenager
in love with the things you've found
All you have is this match - set it on fire

Be happy!
Talk to God!
In a late party talk
in a midnight ****
in your ice cream bowl
go ahead and find love

This hunger
isn't fun anymore!
I am this vessel full of ***
that never empties its heavy load

The hunger is killing me
and keeping me on my toes
The hunger enhances everything,
yet makes me sick!
My ***** is wet, my eyes also drip
All I think is your body, all over me
You're my favorite wildest sweet...
It's lashing out at me - I just can't be
The hunger is deep, the hunger is extreme
it is, i swear it is
Every single night, in my bed,
gasping for relief
I need you to **** me quick
I need to fly with your kiss

Now the levels in my blood are alright - so I will fight
they are stable and I don't feel as bad
And love is still a sweet escape from war
I drive myself mad but hell, you still are

My clouds do not let me see sometimes
I misinterpret something and I'm undone
But now it's clear, sometimes it does shine
and I can't deny
your love is real

I am standing on the way of my dreams
I am standing on the way to me
of who I really am meant to be
If everything unreal, I will cling to the bliss

Our Universe ain't perfect but it's all good
Get rid of the brain fleas, there's nothing to fear
Let's fly as far as we can
Let's hold each other's hand

I don't know what she really did
but it must be something big
I held the key to my very own gates
and she cheered

The birth is all mine
the creation, from my insides
but she helped me keep the pace
not to give up, not to die
to erase myself so I could get born
I will always thank her for that

I am one or I am many
who gives a **** as long as you are happy
What you are looking for - the everyday carries!

I am one but I have shards
I polish them with a million words
a million songs, a million hugs

I am one and I am I
That's the only thing you shouldn't hide
So let me at least have a guide
that I can fully make mine

How to put into order my crazy travel
all ecstasy, wonder, and mystery unravelled

Uncomfortable on your skin - might be the case
if such is, then get some rest, and you
will beam colours, your true self
now go outside, get fed

God, is it you? God, did he speak?
If you spoke, can we really hear?
It was like a stake through my heart
Like a stroke of cold midnight
Premonitions drenched in fear - should you listen to such things?
How to know whose voice it is?
I heard it say, "he doesn't love you" via small moves
I felt it rip me apart, but maybe I wasn't attuned
These little ideas of reference that take or break
How to know who speaks? Do you speak the language
they use?
everyday carries what you've been looking for
stay tuned, to the world's beat
to the true things
to what you can see! these moments when you can feel
undoubtedly clear
and let go of your fear, that's what it is!

Want to know why I did not die?
Because I did write.
Want to know why I survived?
Easy - because I write!

I was 13 - I was lost
and I wanted to **** myself
I wrote a letter to, but instead
I had a story to be told
my own...though I did not know...
a brain to arrange - my feels,
my thoughts
Art up, broken child!
Bleed onto the page and go drain the pain!
Do something! Make sense!

The night was threatening and I could not sleep
Everything so sharply and hurtfully real
I touched life and oh, ****** blisters
all over me
Opposites coming close
I am the mixture of them all

And my soul was shabby and in ruins
I could not tell what was me and what wasn't true,
so many times
Nothing was clear but the soreness
I felt, yet that was the proof I was there, too.
Art up, broken child! Do not lick the wound,
stitch it with a few rhymes!

And there were faint rays
of what could be
The kiss I never got these days
The dreams I had that got delayed

Later, the flow got stopped - because I got clogged
All pain, all emptiness, all doubt
Frozen inside, fetters outside - caught up
I decided to retreat because I could not be
yet I thought I was striving to be freed
Had no certainties at all, so my mouth I shut
so my power I shunned - I was blocked

So I can never shut up
without shutting down
And my words came back at me
as soon as I entered again the scene
I am here because my pen never sleeps
Therapy can be expensive but notebooks
are cheap

Yet now sometimes I feel so full
My pen is bloated in it too.
And we lie happy, satisfied,
just seeing things go by,
just wanting to be by your side...

something big
goes on when I don't write

Your friend Aitor's laugh.
Your blue eyes.
Sushi at night.
It's not true, it's not right.
But it feels nice.

Woody Allen's movies
The backseat of your car,
you grinding on me to reggaeton beats,
tonight it's you yeah, but it's also him

Look at me,
I am lost but I get some
I loved you in a twisted form
I need to get outta here, but in a sudden shift
you got inside of me
it was never you, it was him

Bitter chinese food,
the night I realized it wasn't you.
I came in your arms, yes, I can do that,
but my heart collapsed because I knew
it had to die, it never got born

He didn't save me
but I saved myself
close to him

I don't need him
but everyday is sweeter
when we are near

He's vital like fun
He's candy for the soul

I am the **** in love
And I just can't get enough!
He feeds me thirst for life
"Is is too real for ya?"
Sometimes he drives me mad
but our love is thicker than that

I don't need him
but he turns pitch black into bright pink
he's a spell I don't want to ignore
this man I do love

I will go into the cold, lonely night
With you on my side, with you on my mind
If we have to go through this again,
still we won't ever die.

My friend Brad said to get ready
for the coming storm
that's why I am kissing you so hard
that's why this night shouldn't end
that's why
I gleam like a demi Sun today

I wake up and I’m in fear
Last night I could not either sleep
I can’t sleep and I can’t live
This guilty tremor never leaves
Everything speaks about sin

And there is darkness everywhere
There is a darkness in myself
From the light bulbs gathered
The light bulbs, that make me scared
The light bulbs, they are so fake!
I fall further staring at them
So smothering they choke me every day
it's all me, it's all them

My head is mush, all mashed force
I can’t tell right from wrong
I am all emptiness and God
He is sickly – this I know but won’t show
Who is him, though?
I see the light bulbs - never the Sun

I call out the angels I’ve been told
Nothing higher than my beloved yoke
A light – it’s just another torture, another bulb
I am afraid to my core! So I can't get out
You can see pretty easy - I drown
I am beautiful because I'm dying

What’s wrong with pink?
With being girly,
loving the pretty or needing a kiss
With all the things I was taught
I was wrong to feel

I’m all pink – but you can’t handle me
And I do take pride on this
because I am not weak

Pink and fluffy – and it’s all okay
we want this - but you make us ashamed
I am pink but I still can be fierce!
I am pink, like flowers, like sunset,
like skin, I hold a world within
Let my quirky cute self be.
I am sweet but not a toy, you see?
I give my candy when, and to who I wish.

And sometimes it comes my way
and I smile, I feel, I shake
You showed me your own kind of fairy tale
But I am a punk and I ripped it to death
The Sun did; I just allowed him to do his sacred deed

This is life, you know
So different from what you've been taught.
It is the best, and sometimes the worse.
Full of ecstasy and pain, and ups, and downs.
A ride to not forget, for sure.
Prettier than right, righter than law.
Law written by tyrannic mores!

This is life, not what you were told
so
try your best, forget about the rest
drown in it, till you're whole
most of all, have a ball