the future
it seems so near
but i mean
is it really?

the panging feeling in my chest
is trying to tell me something
but i'm not exactly sure what

-alexa

and just like that
she was a broken soul
wandering in the wind

i wish calm
was an easy outlet for me
but it's all but easy

when you tell me
you love me
i don't know what to say
because with something as intricate
as those three words
i don't know what to do
without breaking you.

tears drip down the cheek of your loved one
without you knowing
and most definitely without you caring
because how could you care about someone so worthless?
worth comes naturally to you but not to me
and i am that loved one
the one with the tears of the unknown
so you don't care
or know.

the dusty fake flowers
on the grave
remind me of
how i thought you were eternal

my eyes are constellations
in your starry sky
they reflect you
they see you
they feel you.

you're my diamond in the rough

your silence
is my strength.

you're beautiful
and although you know it
i'd like to tell you one more time
because the more, the merrier.

-i've always been into quotes like that

when you sleep
you are so unaware
of your beauty
that i have to remind you
every morning
that you
are the most beautiful person ever.

Rip currents.
They pull and tear
your life away.
They're stronger than we are,
and much, much more dangerous.
Drowning has never
been so easy,
I'm afraid.

I thought I would love you
from the days we were young
to the days we were old
and our hearts were unstrung.

I guess that I was wrong yet again.

We say goodbye
early in the morning.

It seems we cannot sleep
without a gentle goodbye.

We tell each other to sleep well
though the sun is coming over the horizon.

We'll be sleeping until late in the afternoon.

And then,
we'll meet again
until early morning.

I don't know
how I feel.

It's hard
to put a label
on what
I don't know.

So, I'll remain here
sitting
contemplating
and
crying

all over you.

A strange quiet feel
is felt

Over the afternoon showers,
the rain hitting the sunroof
and the silence that fills the air.

It is felt with caution,
only because fear is what evokes it.

You can hear the muffled television
speaking from downstairs,
and the rain,
falling lightly on the windows.

But this is what causes the silence.
Noise.

Noise causes silence.
Silence causes fear.

And fear,
is what is felt.

You tell me things
Things I don't even believe
You tell others
rumors
that aren't even true
and you,
you criticize me
for being me.

And I've had enough.
Everyone around us,
they may side with you,
but I am still,
still furious,
still relentless.

Everyone only asks how I'm doing
because of what you did to me.
You,
you turned everyone against me,
and they're criticizing me
for being me.

And I've had enough.
Everyone around us,
they may side with you,
but now, someone's with me.
And soon,
the whole school will be too.

You tell me we can work it out,
but I don't need someone like you
anymore.

I'd write out my feelings,
but I'm not sure if I can feel at all anymore.

Every time my mother tells me
"Go outside, talk to people"
I oblige, saying I will.
But the screen in front of me
is relaxing.
It holds music, silence, sadness, happiness.
Sure, it may be a measly electronic device,
but it's just occurred to me
that my friends are this device.
People I've met on here,
people I've known.
I can access them at any time in the world.
And it may be destroying our social interactions,
but don't you think
our social interactions are on here, Mother?

How beautiful she is
The lace dress fitting to her body.
"A floral dress
would have looked better"
says the mother of this girl.

The girl's face is pale
but somehow she feels fine.
She's used to feeling nothing by now.

She watches as her family argues,
cries,
wishing they'd stop.

They say things like
"Her spirit is with us now"

She wishes they'd stop
that they'd put her lifeless body in the ground now.

She doesn't want to be reminded
of her brutal death.

She wants peace.
Peace at last.

This sick feeling
In my stomach
I don't know why I feel it.

It could be anxiousness
or a bit of self-doubt.
It's really not worth
blabbering about.

It's probably nothing
just a cramp or my period
But I can't help but feel
it's more than that.

I shouldn't have to feel
so nervous late at night.
For the night is for sleeping
there's nothing to fright.

Now I feel cold sweats
on my forehead and face.
But it's not hot out
or cold even.

This sick feeling's taking over me
I can't control it now
I'll find a way to stop it
I will, but how?

Calm
I wish I could feel such a thing.

But with a mind like mine,
that's impossible.

Thoughts don't have the ability to stay 'calm'.

What even is calm?

Is it the rain dripping off of a sunflower's leaves as a night storm approaches?

The faint voices of teenagers singing their hearts out to Broadway shows they only dream to be in?

The whir of city streets, traffic, and crowds cheering for street performers?

The peaceful being of someone you love sleeping?

Calm.
If only I were to achieve this,
then, maybe, just maybe,
I'd be happy.