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 Nov 2015
aphrodite
because i believed you
because i never realized how brown your eyes really were until i had the courage to stare
because you told me you were happier this way
because i don't feel suicidal when i'm with you
because you wanted me to meet your mother
because you never ask me what's wrong
because you don't care about anything
because i wanted to know what would happen
because i was too scared to ask
because ******* for leaving the first time
because i love you for coming back
because you only ever touch me when you're drunk
because his lips didn't feel like yours
because he made me laugh but not the way you could
because of 3 am nights with you are all i want to remember
because 3 am nights without you sit in the middle of my chest like a boulder
because my father warned me
because i can't do it anymore
because i can't do it anymore
**
 May 2015
epictails
I am bleeding
Clear skies turning ghastly and grim in my hollowed eyes
The fever in my brain wins with every vanishing second
The blank pages of my barely written story
Stares at the vacuum that weighs me down
The pen moves not once in my cold hands
As tears washed my loneliness
Tonight, I write for myself

The words have turned against me
Gaping wounds I often revisit
Raw, unadulterated, ever vulnerable
Fuel the art of this damnation, of this craft
I ask them despite the broken voice in my head
What more do you need?
Life is poetry, poetry is life
But it has cut too deep, deep, deeper
I am burned too harshly by the words
It has opened newer, fresher wounds
Buried secrets, once unknown become known,
I come facing old adversaries who never left

Soon, my own words will destroy me
What I started, the ones I raised in my fragility
Will shred me into pieces as they take everything I have

*Worst of it all,
I will stay still and let them
The curse of loving and hating what you do
 May 2015
Dornish Bastard
I heard silence...

In the seconds before I started
In the spaces between my heartbeats
In the breaths I held 'til words were said
I heard silence before secrets were revealed

I hear silence...

In the aftermath of a loud fight
In the emptiness filling my heart
In the vacant space they are leaving behind
I hear silence while I'm falling apart

I'll hear silence...

In the dark as I decide I'm done
In the calm caused by feeling nothing
In the air when my last breath is gone
I'll hear silence after I'm finished living

I was silent** before they thought to listen
I am silent while I decide to just surrender
I'll be silent after I'm forgotten
I'll stay silent 'til I'm the dust making stars flicker
After countless revisions and edits. I'm actually happy to post this. Feedback, please? :D
 May 2015
lionheartlion
I came across myself today.
I always write negatively to you, but this time my passion of art is seeping through my pores.
I fell in love with a city today.
I think Charleston is what they call her.
She's unique and aged.
Displays life and essence on every corner.
The galleries filled with brush strokes of the oils I once brought life to.
Without my love with me anymore, art becomes the source of sunlight within this aching heart.
It craves the beauty of the world and the olden ground beneath its feet.
Sweetheart find yourself in the oils.
 May 2015
Moonlight Bliss
flesh to flesh
embrace me until
i come to life
ignite the veins
inside me
ablaze every dead
part of my body
hold me close when
i'm about to break out
comfort me
with your delicate touch
turn me into a rising daffodil
that will gleam
throughout the day
even if winter transcends me
 May 2015
epictails
In spite of my tears and the nagging hurt in my chest,
I write—in a fragile paper, perhaps
Hoping against all hopes that the words could save me
therapy
 Mar 2015
Nomad
What I fear is neither the tortures of hell,
or to face my Heavenly Father in the glorious skies above,
no, not even death on this Earth can stop
the amount of joy that comes, when being in love.

No, I have a fear, as all mortals do,
but it's not a fear for me,
as it is a fear for you.

I fear as a man,
I need to protect and provide,
to love and teach and listen,
as only God told me too,
as only I can.

But every day I fear,
that I won't be able to bring home the check,
that one day I won't be on my best,
and soon the storm will brew, and so begins the test.

I fear that if anger takes hold,
will you still remember my words of love and my promises,
the ones that I've promised to keep,
since the day they were told?

I fear I am just a man,
but that should not excuse me from doing the best,
and being the best,
the best that I can.

My love, please wait for me,
I'll be home soon now,
I'll be there to hold you tight,
if only the chance to tell me again,
that it'll be alright.

To love and protect,
to protect and provide,
to promise and keep you
always by my side.
 Feb 2015
rs
We can't turn our emotions off.
If only it was that easy,
I'd be the most heartless person around.
If only I could turn these emotions off.
*~ r.s
 Dec 2014
paper boats
I have a love whom I do not know
and when the wind blows we speak
sweet empty verses strung together
My hollow tree they seek

I do not send him kisses,
No songs are sung by birds
He does not hold me close to him
Ours is a liaison of words

His font is precarious
His emotions obscure
Soon it will fade away
Of that I can be sure
When mom was dying,
she felt like everything
she'd worked for
was gone.

She showed me Life
as Its steward
and Death
as Life's reward.

How to lean into
the unknowable
whether I want to
or not.

That our deeds,
carved meticulously into
the bedrock of Forever,
are immortal.

It becomes clearer
that our work
is not for us,
but for It.

This life
is service;
only what we give
is truly ours.
Written on the 10th anniversary of my mother's death - December 2, 2014.
 Dec 2014
WickedHope
Why       don't       you*       love       me       anymore?
I      understand       why      other     people      don't
,
*But                                  you                                  did
O                         n                         c      ­                   e.
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