The blood splatters from my nose
like a volcano erupting lava
and it tastes metallic
to the point I can't recognize
my own taste of nothingness.
The bruises leave traces of where
your knuckles made contact
with my pale, freckled skin,
and seem to fade to an unattractive
color spectrum of green, gold,
and a rich lavender purple.
I used to believe that I was your savior,
and the best of you was hidden someplace
twenty leagues beneath your skin.
Unfortunately I discovered that
I had only sinned among the most
experienced of sinners,
and I was never going to be the one
to pull you into the heavens of my embraces.
All that was left to do for me
was to leave you to your hell
and hope that it would bring me
inner peace.

Day by day,
night by night,
such a cliche opening;

I hate it.

Usually,
I can sit & write unbounded
but recently my brain's been
cleaved into microscopic encryptions.

It seems almost impossible to
...elucidate my mental paradigm
...or maybe to accept it?

Sometimes...
I find myself
yearning to write about nature
but then I begin to cogitate on
how aesthetic nature is.

Trees and flowers.
"You and me.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
..under the trees.
R-O-L-L-I-N-G
...in the flowers.
You and me."

****.

Don't get things misconstrued,
I just love,
writing about love.

There's a girl I've never met
but mentally it feels like,
we share telepathy.
I feel like
...within the distance between us,
there's this distinctive cryptic aura
and I yearn to decrypt it.

****.

...told you I just love writing about love.
Ironically though,
I'm far from ready for it.
                                                             ­        -d.b.d.

i remember the mornings when you would go out of your way to talk to me even for a short while
i remember the 'what's wrong's falling out of your mouth each time i grew quiet
i remember your curiosity over the words i wrote in my notebooks
i remember you trying to fix the problems i had for me
you were always pushing me to be better

but here we are with my ignorance and your arrogance
gone was the sweet guy i met
gone was the naive girl you met
and with that come the silence that is slowly deafening me

but all of the heartache i feel now
cannot compare with all the happiness you gave me
i'm not okay now, but soon i will be

Juice freshly squeezed
From poisoned apples I sip
Happiness as I knew it
Has seized to exist
Without you I can't sleep
I've tried and tried
But all night
Your smile keeps me counting sheep
Days pass but it only gets tougher
To live is to suffer
To love is suicide
Inside my mind memories I hide
I reminisce your presence
My now's no longer a present
My face craves your touch
Since you
That good
It's never felt as such
My cheeks miss your lips
Withdrawn from your magic
My mind flips
A love story gone tragic
Before it even started
My heart ripped
Into pieces
When we parted
Away those pieces are sweeped
In the trash they are heaped
Jesus!
These thoughts make me weep
On a ***** so steep
I'm hanging off the tip
Trying to get a grip
Acquainted with grief
Searching for peace
Watching water drip
Off the surface of a leaf
Observing people breathe
And trees swayed by the breeze
Playing the same old songs on repeat
I'm looking for some kind of relief
Apart from diving in for a swim
In a pool of liquor that's cheap
Aware you hear me not when I speak
And this poem you might never read
But know I know no bliss
Though I see the lamp in the tunnel lit
The one placed at the end of it
My dear, you are greatly missed
From within my soul deep

as i fell on the ground with a dull thud, listening to the cracking of my bones, did you really have to pretend?
you pretended to love me, you pretended..
i allowed myself to be intrigued by the lies that slipped from the beautiful  place that is your lips..
you made me feel so powerful and now i feel... nothing!
because you lied & you had no idea what you were doing to me..
as i dug deep into my skin with a razor so sharp that it could **** a man, i thought of you and all of the things you said to me.
you destroyed me.
i had forgotten about you but you've somehow managed to escape from the oubliette.
is there a lover that i can run to for cwtsh?
NO THERE ISNT.. so what am i to ******* do to escape this horrible feeling? this mess that you made of me, how do you expect anyone on God's green earth to be able to clean it up? to be able to love me without question? you were selfish, i would've never done this to you.. but i should have, you were undeserving of my love, undeserving of a Queen and i hope any trace of happiness in your life crashes & burns.. i hope any bond that you try to create dies a slow.. horrific death dear.

here's to a la mort of a love that can never be,
a outrance of feelings that never got to be expressed.
i hate that my heart is so refractory,
how can i be in love with someone i know nothing about?

never seen you yet somehow i've seen you,
never spoken to you yet i've had numerous conversations about you..
i want to enodate my thoughts onto the canvas that is your heart,
but how can i?

you're probably in love with a lightskin beauty,
but is there any room for a caramel skinned Queen?
or will i be too much of a challenge,
too much of something too brilliant?

my feelings for you are pygalgia,
please darling allow me the chance
to search your soul & find the most unappealing things,
but love you anyway...

you're soul is too ostrobogulous for a quean,
may my being coruscate in the very darkest place of your heart.
til you realize your soul's worth,
til you realize yupukta my love.