If I was supposed to
be defined by grades on
a paper, or by words in
a dictionary

I wouldn’t have
been born human.

If I was supposed to
be confined by margins
on an essay, or by stars
on a flag.

I wouldn’t have
the ability to create.

If I was supposed to
be defined by hatred
to my name or by my
disgraceful past.

I wouldn’t have
been born me.

to show you
would harm you.

to tell you
would break you.

the light never gets
to see darkness
because the darkness
is afraid of the light
and so am i
with you.

so please
leave me
alone.

I wiped the slate clean
No strings
No attachments

I don’t need those things

The side of the bed on which you used to lay
Is the spot that, lately, I've chosen to stay

Embracing a body pillow to cope with being lonely
And the knowledge that you simply don't want me

The side of my bed on which you used to lay
Is a place I couldn't stand to see another stay

Those songs now only remind me I'm alone
So I deleted them; SoundCloud is gone

The side of the bed on which you used to lay
Is where I've been these past few days
Still, I chase others away
On your side, I think I'll stay

I could love you and hold you close
Make magic out of these memories
You wouldn't deny my offered dose
Or make a mess of my mental faculties

Dismay in the fact that you don't exist
Perhaps we haven't met yet
All these unfelt feelings that I've expressed
Perhaps we haven't met yet

I should put more merit behind youth
More merit behind these anomalies
To others in this world, we'd remain aloof
And to the stress that accompanies

It's out there; I know you exist
We probably haven't met yet
All the unfelt feelings that I've expressed
We probably haven't met yet

Past flames on which I've burnt myself
We're not fireproof or flame retardant
Flings condensed to pages idling on my shelves
Feelings like prisons from which we're pardoned

Wondering aimless; we both exist
We just haven't met yet
Unfelt feelings that'll be expressed
We just haven't met yet

Feeling less lonely when feeling together
Being held close and not by empty arms
Text me; call me doll whenever
I'll protect you from any harm

I think I'll love you; I know you exist
*We just haven't met yet

Becoming enough for you still isn't possible in the slightest..

Even when I'm sleeping and I'm dreaming at my wildest..

You claim to no longer have any love left to be harnessed..

Of all the pills I've swallowed, this has been one of the hardest..