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 May 2015
WickedHope
I write my name
My label, my identifier
My word, my definer
I write my name
And it looks wrong, outgrown
Do I have the power, the control
The grip
To change it

Get a grip
Stop slipping
State the facts
Stop tripping

You’re 17 and you’re young
You’re 17 and you have metal in your head
You’re 17 and you have metal taste
Stuck on your tongue
Dripping off when you talk
Forming the puddles in which you walk
Pooling in words that burn
They are a curse slipping through the smile
That reaches your eyes
Only because you painted it there

With brown eyes you can't make friends
With brown eyes you cried until you couldn’t
With brown eyes you smile like it’s free
You quit dancing
You quit schooling
You quit pretending
You started pretending

I am not the same as the infant born 17 years ago
I am not the same as the name that they gave me
I am not the same as the others that held my name
I am separate from that title
I am something new, beyond
Something true and someone gone

Scar after scar twinkles in the light
Hair after hair is torn out every night
What do you call a work in progress
Incomplete is not my name
I am not quite obsolete
To many I appear petite
To many I should just retreat
What a privilege to be given something to cling to that you never desired to own
No, rain is not the same as snow

A name is not a name
My name is not my name
It is a label I stole from fame
Nicole Kidman is not my role model
But her role was my model
My mother was her model on set
But this is a stage on which we are players
And I will not give a verse a name that is not of my own creation
I will not credit the broken, glue-coated, splinters of myself
To some foreign and separate person
No, not to someone else
Spoken word poem for a Slam in one of my courses. I know it's shorter than regulation, but I'm not allowed that much time anyway.
So... How is it?
 May 2015
R
10w
And when violence becomes numb to us, who's to blame?
government? Media? Society?
Any thoughts?
 May 2015
Chris
-

I don’t really need much,
I just really want you
 May 2015
Chris
.

I found the sun
in a peppermint sky
wrapped in tin foil laughs,
it was wandering by

It looked down at me
and it noticed my frown
painted just like a smile
but it sat upside down

It called me by name
and it asked "why so blue,
when you know that dark green
is my favorite too"

I made an excuse
out of lily pad streams,
telling him I was fine,
but I know how it seems

Then he pointed a ray
that fell bright on my heart,
telling me that the truth
was a great place to start

"Ok, I will tell you
but listen quite clear
I am walking alone
because she isn't here"

He then turned to a page
in his sun dial book
and said, "She's right behind you,
go on take a look"

I spun and I saw her,
her beauty now shone
Like my friend overhead,
I was not all alone

"She loves you," he whispered
so soft on a beam
I hugged her and kissed her,
it felt like a dream

We sat on a hill
and looked over the land
and I somehow believed
this was part of his plan

We watched as he moved
like a gem through the skies,
and bid him farewell
till tomorrow's sunrise

Then promised each other
we would always be one,
whether cloudy or rainy
or beneath the sun

Still I miss my old friend,
as this day turns to night
But I'm here with my love
and my whole world is bright
 May 2015
Chris
.

My heart held the pen
as I wrote you a note
Then set it a sail
on a tiny red boat

It sailed cross the sea
then onto a great lake
Followed the tide,
stardust left in its wake

Fueled by the breezes,
the cool evening air
Smooth on the waters
with something to share

Made it a shore
where you sat on this night
To deliver the message
my heart it did write

A small piece of paper
with words just for you
So that when you read it
you'd know what to do

It said that I love you
beneath these moon beams
Sleep well my darling,
have the sweetest of dreams
Good night Beautiful
 May 2015
Violet Blue
What if
What if one day
You forget me
You forget all the memories
We shared

What if
What if one day
I change my mind
I don't want to be
This person I've become
Anymore?

What if one day
Were no longer friends
No longer talk
No longer spend the days together

What if one day
You forget what we have
You forget my touch
My voice

What if one day
I lose my memory
And forget all of this
All of you
All of my best friend
All of your smile
Oh how I hope I don't

What if....
 May 2015
Lunar
sometimes you're like homework
so confusing
and i just stare at you
absent-mindedly
hating you
yet you're important to me
it's so hard to finish you
and i lose inspiration every now and then
but when i get high as my grades
i come running back to you

i can't wait to graduate from school
get rid of this infatuation
we would be adults by then
and hopefully this mess will be sorted out
 May 2015
Nikita
Night is so much better.
Fresher air ≈
Brighter stars ♦
Tighter hugs ♪

Its the only time I feel truely awake.
 May 2015
Violet Blue
Dear the Old Me,
You're depressed
Why don't you seek help
You're afraid
You still in primary school
You have no idea
What depression even is
Or that its even a word
At this stage your 9 years old
And your depressed
You just don't really know it yet
You can't explain why your sad most days
Why you cry in your room everyday
Why you always hide under the bed
Hiding away from the world
Let's go forward to year 8
Your at intermediate
You've discovered depression
What it is
It explains everything
Things were worst than ever last year
You were alone
Scared
Depressed
Cried every single day
Felt unwanted
Year 9
You've started self harming yourself
It takes away the pain
Just a little bit
Helps you focus on something else
Just for a little while
Takes the weight off
Just for a little while
You want to die
You've almost gone through with it
Many many times
But you're scared
Put the scissors down
Put the string down
Put the knife down
It's going to be okay
Year 10
You're getting there ***
Things are getting better sweets
Trust me
You're getting better
Slowly
Painfully
Year 11
You're getting bullied
Being told your fake
Ugly
*****
****
But it's okay
You have people there for you this time
To support you
You couldn't be happier
You've met a guy
That you've never really noticed before
He's better than the rest
Witty, kind, quiet, intreging
Your childhood best friend is with you
She's right by your side too
Year 12
This guy now means the world to you
Your best friend and you are closer than ever
She's more your sister now
Things are okay
Average
You're getting bullied
It's starting again
*****, ****, fake
You get to school and your friend doesn't notice
How broken you are
Your best friend can tell right away
You can't stand it you breakdown
Go to class
That guy grabs your arm
Pulls you aside away from the terrors
Asks you what's wrong
You cry right in front of him
He doesn't mind at all
He pulls you close to him
Against his chest
Your making his shoulder wet with your tears
He doesn't mind
He looks after you all day
Keeping a close eye on you
You realise that day who your real friends are
Next day you get threatened
Your scared
He tells you he'll protect you
He does
He keeps you safe
Right now your 16
Have the best friend ever
Best guy in the world to protect you
Best friends ever
Happy family
And great things
Dear the Old Me
Things do get better
Way better
Hang in there love
 May 2015
Violet Blue
That's what it feels like
Depression
I've never really talked about
My depressed days that much
Its just a part of me
I can never really reveal to other people
This is hard
It never really leaves you you know
Its like your just numb
You can lay there for hours staring
At the ceiling
Doing nothing
Thinking nothing
Or you can be
Lying on your bedroom floor
Tears streaming down your face
Crying silently alone
Burning all the memories
You want to never remember
But somehow can never let go of
You can have the blade in your hand
Running across your skin creating
Lines of red
Lines of pain
Lines of anger
Of heartbreak
No one even knows
You hide it so fucken well
The pain is unbearable
But you can't let it show through
Smile
Laugh even
No one notices
No one notices the scars
You keep your jumper on to hide them
Even on hot summer days
Your skirt hides the lines on your thigh
No one notices
No one knows that the happiest person they know
Truly isn't
They're broken
Cut up
Terrible
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