the television whispers and flickers
its the only sing of life in the
thick heat of the semi-darkness
the air itself takes on a life of its own
closing in around you personal heavy confining
you speak to the empty room
just to put a tangible lapse in the silence

a sickly thin line of sunlight  
wriggles in past a rip in the curtain
and falls mutely on the ***** linoleum floor
slowly creeping across the cracks and stains
illustrating them in brilliant color
daylight slips away
silence

the devil on his cold horse
and it was that darkness which had
given birth to this grand scheme
she walks in a forest of streetlights
brushes one hand on their eternal pools of amber light
the devil on his cold horse
walks slow on the pavements by her side
leading to the overthrown cities
step into the fractured tower
and look up at the starlight sifted by clouds
isnt it pretty isnt it grand

The ghosts of tears fall on the casket of her heart
Pushed into the afterlife without a single warning
Disappearing into the night without a single goodbye

She's left to wonder why her heart continues to chase
Running itself to death over a single human being
Hungering for something that can never again be found

I wiped away every memory you left me with,
as I printed the messages like you wrote me letters,
sealed them in in envelopes,
but boxes marked incinerate,

I waded through knee deep snow,
carrying a box full of memories while wearing some I couldn't let go,
I removed your sweater off my back and created a fire from the tear stained sleeves,
I burned the rest with the box, and cried over the memories that couldn't go away,

I lay down into the snow, holding onto your memories that went too deep,
crying because I can't remember some of the things you did with my body,
crying because I honestly wouldn't wanna know.
like as if  crying would honestly allow me to let go,

you used to tell me things like how I didn't have to worry about my makeup,
or how I didn't have to worry about everyone,
and how you told me you loved me despite my flaws,
like the ones covered over my whole body,

and yet you tricked me,
so I'd let you in,
I was weak and you hurt me,
you don't deserve me,

but who would deserve me,
other than you,
you ruined me,
and I'm the fool.

take time* to have Friends ,
                                               it's the way to happiness.

take time to dream ,
                                      it's your way to the stars.

take time to love ,
                                  it's your way to the sky.

take time to be loved ,
                                       it's your way to the privilege of kings.

take time to admire what's around you ,
                                                           ­            Days're too short.

take time to live ,
                                    it's the musique of your soul*.

Watch your body fall to pieces.
It will not be the first to give up on you,
but it won't be the last, either.

When your nose bleeds,
resist the urge to scream.
It is only because all you've eaten
in the past three days was a grape.
Calcium deficiency.

Your skin will turn yellow
and your nails will be brittle.
It's not beautiful.
You will not look like the plastic
photo lies on the magazine covers.

Your body is consuming itself.
Maybe it sounds like poetry,
but it tastes like fear.
The fear of gaining weight,
the fear of not being perfect.

Your heart will weaken,
your kidneys could fail,

If you die of anorexia nervosa,
it will not be beautiful.
It will not be poetic.
It is grotesque and painful.
The doctors will shove tubes down your throat
just to keep you alive,
while your mind screams,
we can't have those calories

How do you waste away?
It's easy to do.
Hate every piece of yourself
until it's so small you can't feel it.

All alone tonight;
everyone everywhere else.
"Good riddance!" I spit,
"what use are they all anyway?"
It seems there isn't much use
for anyone at all, but that's alright,
that's alright,
nothing to get worked up about.
Instead just lay here,
try to enjoy the rarity of each moment,
passing by as faces on a train.
Do you remember Paris?
That was nice,
remember?
All of those pretty people
with their pretty words.
No one needs company when
you've got that.
You don't need company so long
as you have Paris.
It makes it alright to be alone.
But even now, it seems
the color is all drained
from the frame.
What was it she said?
I can't seem to remember
her face except in the photographs.
"Good riddance!" I spit,
"what use is it all anyway?"
And it seems there isn't much
use for anything anymore,
but that's alright,
that's alright.

It was never as if you asked for it,
no, not really anyhow.
Sure, you wanted the attention,
perhaps a little love to
tide you over through the night.
Sure, sure, who doesn’t?
But not like this.
No one ever asked for this.

It is sitting next to a vulture,
you see them, you know them,
all dressed in skirts and high, high heels,
all of them in long legs,
all of them in soft smiles.
You can always find something
for them to have going good.
A nice laugh, eyes,
the way they hold their drink.
There’s always something,
a starting point to go off of.
From there it’s game over,
it’s the bottom of the ninth
and you’re striking out.
All they need to do is wait, circling,
sitting there, smiling with sharp teeth.

It is something simply not to
fall in love with every woman
you meet.

Often, we take care of the
death ourselves.
These women needn’t
get their hands *****.
Maimed and tortured
in the backs of bars,
bedrooms, telephone booths.
Beautiful little vultures,
do you see how they circle overhead?
winking, blowing kisses.

it was never as if you asked for it,
all of it part of a plan, an organized death;
carrion for the scavengers.
You think you have it good,
you smile along with it all.
Gripped deep into that flesh,
breaking bones, ventricles,
talons sinking into clutched skin.
And we just keep on smiling;
clueless, eager.

I hope you never know how much pain you’ve caused.
I still defend you with my every breath.
The hope I entertained, it now is lost:
All of the hopes of you, I put to death.
There is no reason now for me to stay.
This anger burns hotter than I can scream.
And now, all I wish to do is escape
Because, with you, I cannot feel my dreams.
I longed for what I used to think was real,
But now I know that love is just a lie.
So now I’ll let you go, and I will heal
And wait for someone else to show me why
Love is not wrong, misplaced, or worthless, see—
But love like that can’t happen now for me.