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 Jan 2019
Sketcher
I've been floating through life in the middle of the ocean,
Looking for other fish while I'm questioning my notions,
I find myself a pink fish that starts to play with my emotions,
These waves used to be calm but now they're causing commotion,
Intimate, then not,
Dedicate my thoughts,
To a furry thot,
That hasn't yet caught,
The fact that I am in love,
With her and raise her above,
The tide of loneliness to breathe,
Why is it so hard to perceive.

The pink fish darkened to red,
Then slit her wrists till they bled,
Stained with the thought of being ugly,
But she's beautiful and snuggly,
And kind and spreads good vibes,
But she tells herself these lies,
That leads to depression,
And sometimes aggression,
Whether she's conscious of the way she makes me feel or not,
I'll deal with things the same way, living out the plot.
Clever concept, because the person I'm writing about dyed their hair pink and then dyed their hair red shortly after, corresponding with the following events.
 Jan 2019
Sketcher
She took a part of me that I can't retrieve,
How in the hell could I be so naive,
Maybe cause she put my feeble mind at ease,
In the end it was just one great ol' tease,
I was lost in the feeling of feeling pleased,
I never thought that such events would cease,
Like walking through green meadows feeling the breeze,
Like kissing me while she's on her knees,
Every day going home depressed and crying,
This stuff sounds fake but I am not lying,
They say, "Do Better", they can't see I'm trying,
Whatever the setting, I feel like dying,
Recently she has been occupying,
My mind that has been solidifying,
Into something quite unsatisfying,
A ball of depression that doesn't stop supplying,
She took me in and then pushed me away,
What's the problem, did she think I was gay,
Does she think that love is just a game you play,
Till' you ruin a man and watch him decay,
*****, love is not a ******* buffet,
Pick a meal, put it on your plate and stay,
Right now it's in your best interest to obey,
Because I won't let you be lead astray,
Even though you already got ****** up,
And I know you're slowly becoming corrupt,
I love you so I might as well give up,
Continuing life normally until I erupt,
I'm ending this now, this is my last verse,
So I'll take my bow and accept my curse,
It would never allow me to take first,
So I say ciao, now it's time to disperse.
 Jan 2019
Sketcher
Can't think about hanging out with friends,
When I'm with them and bonds can not mend,
I have to pretend everything is fine,
If they ask me how I am, I have to lie,
A broken heart is too hard to explain,
A feeling, not a word, nothing that plain,
I feel the force of a tsunami and all you see is rain,
Now I must draw blood, because I'm feeling this kind of pain.

You are the only thing that crosses my mind,
But hey, that's fine.
I'll play in the pain and use a laugh and a smile,
But only for a while.

One will cut to feel something that is real,
And intense because you leave me in suspense,
When I can't feel you and I don't know what to do,
And I'm having withdraws, *****, get a ******* clue,
You can't just subdue a man and make him love you,
Then throw him away and go on to someone new,
But I guess you are allowed to do you, that's true,
So give me your fever, inject me with the flue.

You are the only thing that crosses my mind,
But hey, that's fine.
I'll play in the pain and use a laugh and a smile,
But only for a while.

You make me sick to my stomach,
And I really wish I wasn't,
Stuck in this hormonal mindset,
I haven't found my way out yet,
I can't go to sleep anymore,
When I'm thinking about a *****,
That has swept me off my feet,
And let me fall on my back,
Only feel her heat when she's,
Launching a full blown attack.

You are the only thing that crosses my mind,
But hey, that's fine.
I'll play in the pain and use a laugh and a smile,
But only for a while.

I end these off with an I love you,
Or there's nothing I wouldn't do,
But now I'm done with that stuff,
I'm ending this abrupt because I've had enough.
 Jan 2019
Sketcher
I understand pain can be found worldwide,
And pain can teach us things in life that can be applied,
To love and relationships alongside,
The fact that she has me feeling like Mr. Brightside,
What's the lesson I'm supposed to learn here,
To be strong, secure, solid, stable, and preserver,
I would rather trash feelings and disappear,
Getting right up and out of this putrid atmosphere,
Kiss me when you're high, love me when you're sober,
Reject me when you're sober, then crap, it's all over,
I can't portray reality like Donald Glover,
And I can't make you feel better in this month of October,
Getting with you would be like finding a four-leaf clover,
But I'll continue writing until I get a lot older.
 Jan 2019
Sketcher
Heartbroken and I'm still in love,
Outspoken because I kind of,
Have this dumb problem called anxiety,
Can't function in normal society,
If I wasn't anxious, then I wouldn't be lonely,
I feel the need to vanquish the one and only,
Person that I love in my mind,
And I'm done with this whole,
Raising her above to the tide,
Of loneliness so I'll guide,
You to the exit now I'm done with this rhyme.
 Jan 2019
Sketcher
Saw them holding hands the other day,
So, I tried to stay away,
If I got close they would see my sadness,
But last week she was on my mattress,
This is why I'm so confused,
Either way she is amused,
She's between my sheets,
Then he's between her legs,
Anger continues to increase,
So, stay out of my bed,
Or don't do what I say,
Just keep clinging to him when he's around,
Then cling to me,
When I'm the only one inbound,
Don't stop the fake love you're spilling out,
If you don't want to,
You'll break more men, the dishonest and devout,
But don't be surprised if out the blue,
Some man breaks your heart and cheats on you,
It'll be something that you can't construe,
But if you come back to me I'll say, "Who knew? ",
Do what you must, and I'll go along with it,
Drink your alcohol and give your **** another hit,
I'm trying not to care,
Trying to take my feelings and smother it,
But now I'm done,
Although I could go on forever,
Once the ramblings begun,
I couldn't be more clever,
How do I end this,
Obviously not with a kiss,
Or an I miss,
Although I really do,
And I'm feeling blue,
I guess this is my cue,
I'm out...
 Jan 2019
Sketcher
You want to love, and you want to die,
You think you are above all the lies,
You can perceive with the greatest of eyes,
You know your path and you can't deny,
That your end is nearing, it's close by,
Today you will end it all, so you cry,
You put on a white suit and black tie,
You want to feel something one last time,
You take out a knife and cut deep in your thigh,
******, but ready to go off to school,
Leaving the knife, bringing a gun as your tool,
The scenery changed, and the weather is cool,
The colors all blend and the sounds interlude,
Your vision is blurry and gray like your mood,
You quickly notice that the barrel protrudes,
You hide it better before you are pursued,
By one of those stupid law keeping dudes,
That would destroy your destiny, how rude,
Entering school as an intelligent senior,
Always showing a quiet, somber demeanor,
Looking oddly fancy today, a lot cleaner,
Eyeing down some guys that look a whole lot meaner,
Waiting thirty minutes till' she arrives, you're eager,
To carry out your plan, you are today's grim reaper,
Sitting anxious at a table, a nervous creeper,
Ready to attack janitors or the grounds keeper,
Chattering and a message over the loud speaker,
All sounds blend together, the whispers and the shouts,
Waiting for what seems like ages, you have your doubts,
You think she might just not come to school and you pout,
While other kids show off their Gucci, Supreme clout,
See her walk in and your sweating, but sturdy and stout,
Your stomach is the famine, your mouth is the drought,
You walk up to her to show her what your about,
Thoughts can't be contemplated, and words can't be spout,
So, you press against her lips as you blow your brains out.
 Jan 2019
Sketcher
It was only a couple months ago,
Nothing could be better,
I met a young lady that you may know,
By the name of Heather.

Was broken before by another man,
Still seemed rather clever,
Instantly, there was no way I could stand,
The beauty of Heather.

I fell for her hard and she drew me in,
My attentions center,
My first time loving the touch of ones skin,
Only thought of Heather.

Over dreadful times she pushed me away,
Less time spent together,
She's soon to be gone and to my dismay,
That's the loss of Heather.

I also have a friend that's quite pervy,
Needs a punch or shake-up,
Easily gets lost amidst a bevy,
Goes by the name of Jacob.

I have another friend that knows my pain,
He knows how she ******* me,
Together we will slowly go insane,
Me and my friend Tui.

I only have one colleague of color,
Might feel my agony,
Go as far as to say he's my brother,
Goes by DeAnthony.

I have another friend that's very strange,
Would've been a farmer,
Back in the day because he's very plain,
My dear old friend Carter.

Another crazy friend that thinks like me,
Life force leaking resin,
Very nice but absolutely crazy,
Hawaiian friend Aeson.

Another friend that is nice and quiet,
She is quite the fella,
On the inside, she seems to be crying,
My good-souled friend, Ella.

I had talked about the one I love more,
Cause love is not friendship,
Even though she is considered a *****,
Love forever endless.

Friendship is selfish, cure your own boredom,
Therefore, it's not like love,
Love wants to make you solve other's problems,
Any problems thereof.
Inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's, "Annabel Lee"
 Jan 2019
Sketcher
You gave me a feeling that I can not replicate,
And I can't always see you so I just sit and wait,
As my emotions destroy me and my heart deflates,
Can't see you til we make plans or meet again by fate.
So I will do just that, I will play the waiting game,
Until I can see you and hold you and say your name,
Bad emotions will uprise when you're not in the frame,
Depression, despair, doubt, frustration, guilt, grief, and shame.
Can't wait until I see you again, I love you babe,
Young love is painful, but it's powerful and it's great,
I am all filled with sadness but your presence elates,
Love, it is a lovely, painful, unbearable weight.
Please promise me that you will never go away,
Until your dying breath when we're both old and gray,
Whether this thing we have is rare or it's cliche,
I hope you join me in life, this chaotic play.

— The End —