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 Sep 2018
sadgirl
the girls huddle,
wallflower themselves
away from the bell-toll
of mean-girl chatter

gucci gang comes on,
& a few blood-boys
come out with juul-destoryed lungs
and sip their smuggled *** punch

someone shouts 'begone, thot'
& instead, i vanish,
into summer-stretched air.
you're only young once, &

then there's the in-between
of reunion. the late night fiends stay
until the sun peaks
through the cracks in the

façade of adulthood.
finally, somewhere near
the end of the night,
the intercom comes on.

the superintendent asks us to leave,
the bathroom is filled with brûléed vapor
& the ground has become as much of an ashtray
as the dirtied mouthes of those still dancing,

drunk enough to numb the memories of
the worst three years
of our collective life.
when the chorus of

**** that, *******
fades out,
it's because the system is
crackling again

& everyone's head is turning to the soft voice asking;

where are you now?
what have you done?
are you perfect yet?
They didn't let me read this poem at my middle school talent show.
She can walk
          between
             night and day
               never letting either
                  get in her way.
She learned this trick
                     many moons ago
                                by
                     going deep within
           and never letting it show.
Her soul is innocent
her heart is pure
she’s gone through more
than most could endure.
            She’s an angel of light
                 an angel of dark
                 you never know
              what you will spark.
                      You want to hurt her?
                         Please, go ahead and try
                           she’ll be the one to show you
                                  just how well she can
                                                              f
­                                                                l­
                                                                ­  y.
                                  Her soul innocent
                    her heart pure
      but never think for one minute
that she’s not secure.
                                Say what you will
                          please, do what you must
                       but your jealousy and hatred
                             won’t waver her trust!
~
Even Those Angels Out There Have Their Limits…..
 Sep 2018
Eyithen
Girls like her peak in High School
Always thin
Good at everything
Great at sports
Beautiful
Lots of friends
Outgoing
Confident

Girls like me?
A wallflower
I'm not alone
I have sort-of-friends
I'm a shadow in the back of the class
Always silent
Mid-season I'm failing
Getting grades up just enough
for the final report card to say I'm "smart"
Fool the colleges i do
Silently being the only one who doesn't understand
But the class is moving on without you
Crying because I'm "not good enough"
Below/Average at sports
Never good enough for the team
Stuck on the sidelines
Always watching
My life is a TV program
I laugh and watch
But never feeling a part of it
I'm just a spectator

Girls like her peak in college too
Even more beautiful then before
A boyfriend to match
And a petite body that looks great in everything
Flying through college
Instagram model

Girls like me?
Flunked my first year
Home i go
More clueless than ever
"I changed my major" i tell them
I put on the act
"I know what I'm doing"
It's all a lie
A mask I wear
Falling apart inside
Feeling despair
The tears come easy
They come fast
How long will this misery last?
Comparing, Comparing
It's a bigger high school now
Except no one gives a **** this time round
I did this to myself
Want to fix it
Is it too much to ask for a win?
Medication helps the focus
I am making a plan

I'm learning
I'm finding myself
It's okay to take my time
It's okay if I'm a little slow
So why do i feel like I'm just fooling myself?
Everyone has a different path
I haven't given up
I haven't stopped moving
So why i am walking the treadmill?
Moving but still in the exact same spot?

I'm jealous of girls like her
They got it all
Wish things were different
Wish i was given their hand
Cause fate has delt me a rough one

She gets the grassy meadow
I get the stormy mountain
She gets prince charming
I'm still waiting
She uses her wit to defeat the witch
I escape and run through books and other things that distract

What is wrong with me?
Why can't i be good at things?
Why is this so hard?
I wish things came easy.

We were friends
Me and her
And i hate the green monster
that leaves me with this jealous anger

Stay away
Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat
All they do is cause me harm
All the doubts and pain creeps back
I keep reopening the wound.
Those negative thoughts i though were gone?
Well they are buried in the back of my mind ready to resurface.

This is just the beginning of my story
I know this
I am destined for greater things
I know this
I will make it
I know this
I will graduate
I know this

Yet, Girls like her
Leave me with lies that echo...
I have been struggling with school. I want to do well yet i self-sabotage. I am getting better. I have a plan and i am going to succeed and fight through college, yet i see pictures of a friend from high school and that is all it takes till i start to spiral into this black hole of doubt and fear.
 Aug 2018
Dominique
I know the toothless women
Who crumple on the streets
The rain bleeds through their cardboard,
The cold drips through their feet

I know the dying children
With anaesthetic arms
The angels crowd around them
With time that burns their palms

I've hugged the brainwashed gangsters
With money drenched in blood
I've heard their broken weeping
While digging up the mud

I've seen the starving faces
Of the tired girls at home
The broken, hectic psyches
That eat them to the bone

I know the burning poets
With a desperate thirst for life
The need for finding soulmates
That pierces like a knife

There's weary public servants
Who risk their lives for good
And prove compassion every day
Yet stay misunderstood

Human love is buried
Beneath the plastic weight
Of angry allegations
And a world that feeds off hate

These people may be messy,
But they're beautiful and real
With hidden dreams and secrets
And ability to feel

We have a place to run to
With lights of peach and gold
Where all the weight is lifted
And all our tales are told

We live in total freedom
So safe beneath the moon
And though it seems ambitious
Our dreams will save us soon
The night brings comfort to those who need it most
 Jul 2018
a M b 3 R
stop torturing him please
it hurts me to know that
he is suffering
the voices
in his head
please just quieten down
and never echo back again
just let him have his peace
and a normal life
stop making him feel that he is the worse
when he is not
he feels like a failure
when he is not
he is so much more
so stop telling him
that he is not
when are you ever going to stop hurting him
please hush
well i hope that he is alright (my friend). i really wish that the voices can go away. but it isnt that easy :/
 Jul 2018
Isabelle
time and space transcend
you float in the sky
as thin as the air
the lightness of your being
made you feel like flying
no weight, not heavy
is it the same with being empty?
ease to unease, until it scares you
because the absence of weight feels like unreal
feels like you’re leaving the earthly being
while being heavy, pins you to the ground
closer to the soil, the earth, the more real
in moments where the soul can be pure
the unfamiliarity is threatening
and you’re left to wonder which is positive
the empty lightness of being
or the heavy value of existing
7/16/18
 Jul 2018
emnabee
The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.
A little escape from the madness.
Or maybe, into.
 Jul 2018
Lynnia
We were dueling with sparks
Now we’re juggling fire
Flame still starves in the dark
Never beaten or tired
Doesn’t dim with age
It can’t be blown out
Still alive with rage
Feeding on your doubt
It doesn’t think
And it can’t feel
Driven to the brink
Craving its next meal
Anger scorches your soul
Many have learned
If you play with fire,
you’re bound to get burned.
Anger scorches you from the inside out and letting the blaze speak for you has its consequences.
 Jul 2018
Jamie
Maybe 10 years from today,
Maybe only 1 year away,
Or even just 1 day,
I will be able to say...
Words that should be said
 Jul 2018
Kim Essary
Standing so close to the edge of this cliff , I can feel the give of the rocks beneath my feet. My heart hurts but shows no fear as it's been torn and tethered for so many years.
My mind plays like a movie running in rewind, so many memories made in oh so little time. Trying to find where things went wrong is like finding a needle amongst the hay. As I pick and plunder with still no luck as there is more abundance of hay and only one needle . It is now apparent that my search is for nothing as with no guarantee even if recovering the needle that I could fix the problem where it lay.  
I look above me for something to grab and pull me to safety should the ledge begin to break but sadly enough like our love I find nothing to hold on to to save me or us as it appears all we have left is the fall to the bottom and hope for survival to dust myself off and start over again.
Just when I brace myself and prepare for the fall I see a bit of hope and pull myself back up just to find myself standing with the rocks giving way on the edge of a fall again.
Can't give up but hurts to stay in. Life is so confusing when you love like I do
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