Everyone struggle here , some struggle more.
Everyone hurt in some way, some hurts more.
Even the wealthy suffers here on the earth now.
This is why we read about their suicides here.
More people try to ease their pain by doing drugs.
While others tries to ease it through drinking.
I am not trying to upset anyone I love you all in Christ.
Even Christians goes through this drugs or drinking.
But I know that only an few God gives deliverance gift.
For people to see God uses them to reveal to others.
That his supernatural miracle powers still working today.
It is here for all to see and ask God to deliver them too.
It is his will to heal and deliver everyone so he is reveal to the world.

Sometimes God, will take people out of your life.
So that he may, do an work within you at the time.
Sometimes God , will place you in a lonely place too.
So that he may, get your attension for once here.
Sometimes God, wants you to stay single here.
So that he may, use you in ways that you are unaware.
Sometimes God, ways  might seem hard here.
But when he wants, you to do something here.
He shall make an way, for you to suceed at it here.

I am praying for there to be light within you all here.
A light that is so bright it shall shine through the night.
A light that shall  draw many more to our Good Lord.
I am praying for each of you to see that you are Blessed.
With enough Blessings to share with all that you know.
I am praying that you shall see that you are a Psalms 91 poet.
That God's protection rules over your life man and woman.
That your family shall be just as protected as you are too.
That your friends and neighbors shall see Christ within you.

If I would have taken the other road God.
What would have been different here for me.
Would I still had to go through these painful things.
I would still have known you wouldn't I Lord.
Would I have been married and stay married.
Would I have that Son that I desperately wanted.
Would my Faith in you be as Powerful as it is.
Would I be so longing to be home with you now.
Or was this road the one that had saved me from h3ll.

You may see colors and a world that is free. When I open my eyes everyone is expecting good things from me. I struggle to breath in this cage without a window or door. Black and white, white and black-I feel as if to be under attack. Do I wait for one more year to pass or attack back? I want to be me but then all of a sudden there's something wrong with me? I seem so sad, I look so depressed. I'm okay, I'm not under any stress! Laughing in the back of my head because being me rather than the person I set up in their heads make them all think I've lost my sanity instead!

NoT yet hAVe i GonE mAD!

I have not ripped my memory's to shreds! I don't need more meds. Am I really seeing all these things or is it just in my head? Attack! Attack! Knock down the cage walls white and black! Black and white! Depressed in stress I wear a bullet proof vest; they strap me tight in the jacket without care, lock me up and watch me disappear.

Only if they knew the pain I've gone through. I could be me without all the lies, no more worries not a tear in my eyes.
Ear to ear my smile appears... The unseen stitches that have held together my smile and all my tears. Wishing away all those painful dreams; I slay them.

My brain was clouded with all of the smoke.

I took another **** laughing at the stupid jokes.

Forgetting the promisees that we had once spoke.

I felt as if something was broke...

So I took another ****

To forget we ever spoke.

Oh why, oh why do we all have to die?

Accident's and suicide is it really all that better on the other side?

Car crashes and burning buildings, now we are all dead;

Jumping from not so safe buildings and playing with not so toy guns;

Chalk outlines and splatters on the walls.

My oh my, what has happened to us all?

I see my death before I die with my very own eyes.

I'm just so done with watching my death a thousand different times on rewind.

And ever night I scream inside and in these dreams my skin is bleeding and my face is pale.

The water's flowing and sirens are going.

I'm hanging there with rope tied around my throat.

And in these dreams I replay a thousand times in my mind I always end up dying.

In reality I'm only sitting there crying.

A wish to come true after I'm through with high school because a pact was made to save my life,

But now I've been slowly dying.

Haven’t you beat me down enough for one existence?
This time even my soul is tired!
I’ve been found a million times
But still I get lost in rhythms
Dreaming about a better place
Where angels no longer hide
Please let me become Divine...