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With the light slipping through the cracks of my shut windows.

My records playing and travelling around every surface of this cursed house.

The ringing of the alarm from my sisters room awakens me from my midnight daze.

The peace of such a restless night finally decides to befall on my worn out body.

My dreams to be reflected from the sunlight gleam
Always aiming for my mind and it's spectres.

-Kore
Busy night but its time to sleep
Sight of mine dulled to nothing but red.
My aching fingers bleeding from the splayed out shards of glass.
Time and time again, this feeling will never truly fade.
The destruction that eases into every walk that I take.

The pent up pain that does not soothe
It only comes in waves of doubt and an ache that runs deeply through my body.
I can only sit in silence and wait for it to wash over  as the never-ending wrath bounces in the corners of the room.
No freedom found as I keep myself from lashing out.

My blood keeps dripping around my pooling ire.
To lock up such a monster that laps away at every upset and disappointment
There really is no telling when
The day it stops rocking back and forth the dark curtained bedroom I try to subdue it in.

The day my warm blood no longer satisfies the steely blue light that edges its existence.
And the way it bounces off of the crystal shards coated in crimson beneath my hands.
Alcohol has never truly worked for me as much as I wished it did.
What do I do when there is nothing I can do?

How will I cope when I can no longer keep from being violent?

-Kore
yes i've had a bad day
And what will happen when you leave me too?

Do I keep going or do I follow you?

Until I cant anymore.

As our bond always pulls me closer and closer to you.

Your gaze becomes inseparable with your warm and loving words.

It is torture to think that I could lose you too.

And when you walk away from my waking life I will stride every night in the ethereal plane.

Going to a place that we've always known and that only we will ever know.

Always to a home where things are better.

-Kore
its your birthday soon ^^ ayy
Towards every sound, I can only move.

My eyes tied back masked in the fog.

No light shining through

No one to guide me.

Like a glacier in the vast abyss floating towards nothing.

Only accompanied by the echoes of yesterday.

-Kore
***
When will you realize that I am no longer who I used to be.

You rid me of the hope I had and the beauty I used to see in this cutthroat world.

Every word and hit you landed on me made sure of that.

You did not let me grow up and instead pushed me into the shallow looking waters thinking I would survive.

And you're right I did.

But at what cost?

Only my humanity of course.

How ironic it is that you wanted me to thrive and pour gold out of my waking life.

When I came out burning from sulfur and ashes.

No warning and no mercy, no.

You never taught me what that was.

All the expectations and dreams set into my very being with no thought of what it would take.

I am not your saving grace nor your chance for another life.

I am not made for your salvation, to make up for what you could not have.

I have always been so much more than that.

You birthed me from fuel and soot.

I was never meant to be what you predicted.

So do not come to me with your expectations of obedience I will never yield to your maltreatment.

I will never be molded into what you want of me.

-Kore
thanks mom and dad :)))
Please do not take it personally
when I reel away from the world
and from you.
When I disappear without a word.

It is simply my way of saying.
That I am healing in my own ways.
I do not blame you
and I never would.

Please never put yourself at fault
for it is no ones burden but my own.
You have only shown me kindness in my struggle
but this is something that only I can deal with on my own.

And I can promise you that things will turn out okay for me.
There is no need for you to risk your own heart
for things you have no control over
with your own tears you have to mend.

I can promise you that I can save myself.

-Kore
she shouldn't have to feel guilty
I do not want to forget.
But as the sun rises from the horizon
My memories
Our memories
Start to fade from my conscience.

Everyday is a struggle as I desperately hold on
To what my mind wishes to erase.
Your words
Our dreams
No longer as eternal as we thought it would be.

So please forgive me.

For my memory isn't what it used to be.

-Kore
I am sorry
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