I.

A chance meeting in an abandoned place led to
weekly discussions and shy smiles neither of us
wanted the other to see

II.

You clung to me closer than a wet t-shirt and
became my shadow, always at my feet.

III.

A long time away from home in a mysterious
metropolis gave you my cold, hard message without
directly placing the dagger in your center.

IV.

How could I have not noticed how
beautiful you are? How
could I not keep you? How?

I disappeared last week
fell madly in love with Washington D.C.
Kissed my high school sweet thing and went to a Zoo with him
His eyes and fingertips penetrating my psyche
Fat and ugly red eyes as I left my temporary Paradiso
It's good that love like that only exists in small doses.
I hope one day I can return to the land of Gods & Devils
where all I want is drink and a deep kiss
a line and  an inhale
a now or a never

I wear oversized sweatshirts
They feel more comfortable than your tiny tank tops.

My jaw feels likes it’s wired shut when I speak about you.

I want to cover you in seeds and watch the flowers grow and learn to adore you from your exquisite energy.

I want go back to that rock with you and hold hands silently as we marvel at the zodiac signs that match our tattoos, Cancer and Scorpio

I want you to write your name with your tongue inside of my mouth so I can feel it every time I speak

I want to see your face and body’s reflection amongst a hall of broken mirrors and still marvel in your steadfast opulence

I want you to teach me how to pronounce my name again because I forget it from moaning your’s so many times

I want to write your name on every solid surface I find so everyone can marvel at it's spelling

I want to shower you in flowers and stars and endless love

I want to drown in an ocean of every long embrace and kiss we've shared

And dry myself in that look in your eyes that makes me melt

I want to be your favorite piece of music that you play in the dead of night when you can't fall back asleep.

It's not very poetic
I just really want to
sit on your face

walk with me
talk with me
hold me
adore me
get lost with me
make my skin melt
I want our bones to touch

hot breath
on necks
finger tips
digging into
hips
eyes at my waist
side
skin shivering
tongue
incantations
slipping under your spell

I dress and hold you
like a child
your pheromones intoxicating me
coughs
snores
gentle moans that require attention
bed shifting
the texture of the sheets subbing together
this is our symphony
I'm drunk off the scent of your hair and skin
artists created Gods in your image
shadows highlight your emaciation
static.
vibrato from sing-alongs
red wine and irish whiskey are bringing us together
and tearing us apart
we are both pilgrims
and
we are both savages
grabbing at my shirt like a little baby who needs his mommy
we sing to your body so
ceremoniously
nuzzling, rolling, blushing, adjusting
our souls require choas
clumsiness excused

we beat on and travel
you can't keep something that hates your presence
actions exalt billions of times louder than empty words with zero eye contact

joining haunts and skeletons you assured me were nonexistent
i saw them following you from the moment we met
they are holding you down and you can't expect me to cherish them
rubbing the dirt of your past, present, and future into my eyes
but again, promising there's nothing attached to you below
dancing to thought of your new idol-ship
when there's no one around to bow down and twinkle for you

what are you so ******* afraid of?
i smirk to myself, finally seeing through the foggy glass from body heat
you've misinterpreted every lilt of my voice
mistaking me for a lamb
But I'm a lion
strong, proud, and independent
my lust has been mistaken for desperate love
your ego is beginning to make your shoulders slump
attributing every word i put down as a proclamation for you

i'm sure you, and you, think this, along with all the others, are about "how much I need you."
They're about everyone.
I don't need you. I want you. Wanted?
I don't need anyone.
No one can have me like I got me.

up in the east coast we have this saying
drink a beer, take a shot, gimme a kiss
or get the **** out

our lips curl
we are the girls your mama warned you about
not because we are bad
well, we are bad, but bad meaning naughty
your mama didn't want you to have desire in between your knees
hot, rough, soft, wet, cold, treat, candy, precious, cotton, gems, pure
the smaller the floor space, the closer we get
the ink in your skin spreads
wait

no
nevermind
:)
devour me

a saturated sunset start showing her sensual side
wine dripping down my thighs
the way you look at me
don't do it but don't stop
teeth shining
****
limbs twisting
choke
hot skin crashing together like cymbals
when did the sun come up?
we couldn't notice because we were coming up all night

out of nowhere i see an icon i only thought existed in my prolonged dreams

go-go boots, striding down streets that are immortalized in 1980's plays

almost every song that comes on my hand-held robot croons like something from "**** Bill" - operatic, righteous, and honest

sights of beginnings and new beginnings on a small screen

the air between my mattress and the wall rumbles as we grow together again

i feel like an egg that was born without a yolk
smooth white skin that is beginning to crack
there's nothing to spill out

i feel like an abandoned home in the middle of winter
condensation clouds floating through empty rooms that echo the sound of creaking wood and ghosts that used to be so comfortable

pale face
empty space
your ghost is gone from this tiny place
the weight begs
between my legs
your smell remains
across the plains
of the table where you left your pain
now i'm on my own
all alone
moan
groan
here
alone

I could write an entire encyclopedia of my love for you and you still wouldn't care.

I dream about you every night
Baby
Love
I remember the way your unshaven cheek used to hurt my chin
We would kiss so deeply that it felt like we are fused
Your name rings through my head at 3 am when I wake up sweating
God
You are such a beautiful ghost now
Thank you for remaining in my dreams
At least you didn't abandon me there
My tongue is still poisoned by moaning your name over and over
Oh love
I wish it was two years ago and you still found me magical
Nothing measures up to us
Wherever you are though
God
I hope you're happy
You were so beautiful when you smiled
I try not to miss you
It's hard when no one cares
You were the hero I wanted
I'm sorry it took me so long to realize
Wasting my emotions on empty vessels
On ones who don't appreciate my love
You were then, now, and enternity.
Please don't stop visiting my dreams.
We get along well in there.

Please don't **** her
it's written backwards on my hand, my six year old wrists and my eyes that have been stung by spray paint i turned into a angsty manifesto
panting like a dog
begging you to stay
begging

you were a walking nightmare
i need to evict you from my dreams

every mall, every antique store, every show, every high school reunion, every time I was dripping in glitter and perfume

leave my hometown and gravy heart alone...
the way you would get so angry when I couldn't be perfect.

it brings nirvana
the idea of a faceless brunette girl
petite and soft and curious
i lie extended
i imagine her laying extended
but open
like a star fish
the alphabet exists between her legs
she's like a peach in full bloom
and tastes like one
sweet, ripe, delicious, visceral, here, now, once, ever? yes, here
she sings toneless notes
my eyes roll back into my skull
and that's it

momentum and fragility builds in my legs and hands
my toes curl and empty air beneath them begins to buzz
an electrical current that is blue and gold begins to
make love
and sends bolts up my vertabrae stopping at my
knees that are knobby and bruised
heart that is tired of being bitter
brain that is foggy from sleepless nights and false realities
the neurological star scape that erupts inside my head in that moments wipes away every doubt i have
for five minutes, i won’t care

long strands of raven black hair brush against my lips
my thumbs create crescent moons on a porcelain cheek
blushing brow and lips
tiny, painted fingers curling forward and back
heat traveling down an hour glass waist
we're on fire, girl

I.

We exchanged sterling rings beneath a massive willow that wept for us as we carved our names into her and mutilated the thick skin of her base.

II.

You smelled like oak and patchouli and I smelled like gratuitous humility to be wrapping myself up around you like silver paper on a precious stone.

III.

You wore white and I wore black to match our deepest energies that whirl and dance and create beautiful creamy grey when we make love.

IV.

Under twinkling, tiny lights that looked like stars or fairies we linked pinkies amongst the dwindling sun light and an anxious moon.

V.

Our bodies begin to melt and disintegrate because the sparks are becoming too electrified and molten.

keep down your walls and blocks
you make me whir and purr like a little kitty cat
the scratch of your mustache on my peach lips
brown eyes that penetrate my pear skin
my blueberry eyes feasting on your apricot knuckles
and tasting your apple knees

just
so
you know
i'm
not
hanging around
much
longer

To you
I owe nothing
yet I give you everything

To me
you owe nothing
yet you take everything

When I tell you to go away

Please don’t leave me

I’m sorry I speak in crypts

Protecting myself while I battle you

It’s intentional but I always regret it

Help me stop

I can’t do it alone

the sky above walgreens looks like water color
i hear "it's never..." outside my street screamed
the past four nights have been a blur of panic as the yuletide approaches

I look on this gradient sky,
in a city i lost three years ago

but i'm still here.

when did your eyes turn from blue to grey?
what a beautiful grey
a cold grey
a wet October grey
an "I forgot my umbrella" grey
a "Should we stay home?" grey
a day consumed with nostalgic sadness grey
a familiar reminder of rejection grey
a hopeless new romance grey

as grey as the ash from your cigarettes
as grey as that woolen hat that I'd wear while I waited wondering when you'd wander home
as grey as my best shirt you stripped off of me on a grey night

i fell in love with a mixture of black, blue, and muddy pearl
it sparkled against me when the sky clouded up
and we kissed until our vision blurred

I don't remember how vivid colors were before you.

every word you write is not for me and never will be
unfortunately
i'm not stupid

despite the small time

and the cold nights half-sleeping

i still enjoy it

you are a liar
stop pretending that you care
it's making me sick

oh
how we exist
so harmoniously in dream world

only to wake up
and disappoint reality

Pixels streaming like shooting stars
Artificial openings that are so disingenuous when I’ve seen the way your smile makes all light bulbs burst in jealousy from the light you radiate
“Just be yourself.”
The most honest advice to give.
No malice.
The hardest advice to take.
“Do they even know me?”
The calm sometimes doesn’t come after the storm.
Sometimes it sits and waits.
Slowly curling around toes
Casually slithering up to your belly
Nausea
Prancing up to your heart
Anxiety
Pridefully slinking to your throat
Tongue-tied as it swells like an angry ocean
And finally making rest in your cerebellum
I asked
Where it spreads out, limbs long, and smirking
This poison you willingly drink that is masked by sugar and ego
Let the glass engorged with the evil elixir that alerts you of your short comings shatter on the tile floor
Remove the blinking screen from your face that is slowly becoming a Shakespearean tragedy
Disconnect
Connect to eye contact that isn’t shielded by WiFi

He stands tall
proud
open
vertebrae linear
shining like the moon
sugar skin wrapped around  
delicate bones
and hardworking hands

He exudes comfort
like a warm summer night lying beneath billions of
constellations
they shine brighter with him
like crystals

Flowers grow from him
His heart is so much more caring than the sun
who berates delicate green tendrils with unforgiving heat
mysterious clouds can't shield his
effervescent energy
nor can smoke

He shoots electricity from his
fingertips
sparking life
igniting

He lifts massive weights
of time
of pressure
from the world's shoulders

He is now and infinite.

tie a rope around me, love
you’ve made me feel so high
that my feet might leave the ground
but don’t worry
i won’t fly away

when your lips purse in your deep sleep
every inches twitch
i'm there
you make love love again
you make feel feel again
i wish i could buy you the world because I know you'd buy me one first
the sparkles, the shine, the glitter, the radiance
trees and train tracks
teeth and crooked smiles
with comfort food on our breath
seconded handed clothes
a Goodwill vinyl
early morning with limbs like old tires wrapped
if i could be Jimmy Stewart. I would.

a bead of sweat slowly runs down my anatomy
from my red hair it begins slowly inching its way to my cheek
it feels like a tear
it is wet and now sits beneath my eyelash
yet it doesn't sting my blue iris

i've lost all control of my legs
the ones i use to twirl around Philly with
with you
they twitch and shake as the words dripping off your tongue roll into my open ears, as if i'd never heard such provocative language spat inside my cranium

have you made me more innocent?
discovering shapes, curves, rivets, and freckles in myself
transfiguring all my flaws into beauty

sitting in delicious silence
that's filled with sugar eyes and resting limbs on one another
candy falling from our jovial lips that are rarely not kissing

we could just sit here for hours
watching the smoke leave our lungs and enter each other
seeing each other without looking
hands clasped
sun sets
a smile
a kiss
black out

i want to get high with you

no no

no

i want you to be my high

i want to take you in, hold you in my lungs until i turn blue

and then finally i breathe you out

every piece of you sparkling as your arms pull me down

forcing my eyes closed because i’ve never felt this good before

my limbs melt and your skin brushes against every inch of skin causing it to erupt

i hear every layer of your voice, humming some unrecognizable tune that i know i had heard once before

and that nostalgia lifts me up

i try to reach up to you, but you are just out of my grasp

and i laugh

because i know that i can never touch you

but i can have this feeling whenever i want

something about the cold drew me to you
the temperature of your bedroom kept me there
"i always liked the cold" you'd say
i wondered why
now I know it's because you craved inseparable proximity
you required love that i couldn't give, though i wanted to so desperately

you turned me into ice
because as soon as you made me melt
i cracked
and ran

i spend most nights at your house
we wake up every morning
the same buzzing ringing in my ears
it seems to come from the same place
but not a familiar place
and when you don’t answer it
we all understand
it’s just not time yet
it’s not time to make decisions like that
it’s not time to grow up.

my heart hurts
i don't mean to be this way
i push and push and push and push
and then i wonder why you leave
please ******* don't go
you have to understand that i can't control my actions
years and years of berating love have made me hard
when i begin to get soft
it scares the hell out of me.
it scares the living hell out of me.
just please don't go.
we've barely spent any time together and i'm
yours.
I am
only yours.

Esto leboue abache
Furgate en quinso

I'm not one who pours myself out and then disappears when I get bored after a few months and moves on so quickly to the next.

You were.

That was our major difference.