you.
are covered in moonlight
and your eyes
reflect the stars
of the night
you.

In my dreams
you do see me
you look at my soul
and love me
with your sparkling eyes.

But only in my dreams.

You ask what I'm thinking, and I give you
Some line I wrote in freshman English.
Then you sit there telling me I'm so insightful,
But, God!—I've got you fooled.
I am not special or interesting or
Different;
I am a girl who reads poems
(Far too much Bukowski) and
Lets the flicker of the TV lull her to sleep.
Night after night it's some new hero telling a girl with big eyes he loves her,
And then they're living 'happily ever after'
Like it's some place you can drop by for a postcard and a bite to eat.
It's *******.
Still, look at me—I eat it up,
Let it sink so deep that it digs through my bones
Until I'm practically made of the stuff.
And the worst part is, I'm running around spouting all this fairy-tale garbage,
Like maybe if I say it often enough, it'll come true.
But, of course, it never does.
You never burst through the right door, and I never cry into the crook of your neck.
I don't love you, and you only think you love me:
The ***** who reads Bukowski.

You are standing in the alley
Smoking a cigarette
You hear my voice but you can´t hear me
I smell the alcohol on your breath
Your arm is reaching for my waist
Your kiss has that bitter aftertaste
Your blurry vision slowly has me erased
I leave you feeling like life is going to waste

I don´t think you changed, I just think I closed my eyes
Holding on to hope as I watched the smoke rise
Just love isn't enough for me anymore
I can't be your freedom and your cure

You are standing in the alley
Smoking a cigarette
You can drown your sorrows, but I can't drown my feelings
You pour alcohol down your throat until it stings
You hear my voice but you can´t hear me say goodbye
You drank all the alcohol money could buy
Your blurry vision slowly has me erased
As I'm walking away from what you chose to embrace

I don´t think you changed, I just think I closed my eyes
and I know it was real cause you regretted all your lies
Just love isn't enough for me anymore
Your cigarette burns out and drops to the floor

We were so small,
But we felt galaxies within us—
Miles and miles of open road, splintering off in all directions.
We'd talk all night about how one day
The boys would come running and we'd pick them off like flower petals, humming
'He loves me, He loves me not.'
We'd dream about having our hearts broken,
Just like in all of those movies,
Hoping to one day be shattered so beautifully
Our hearts would become kaleidoscopes
When the light hit just right.
We'd stare at the old women in the theaters who talk too loud,
Ask too many questions.
We swore that'd be us one day,
Kids grown up, husbands at home,
Laughing at the little girls wearing high heels and bright lipstick.
But you found a boy, and he has a car—
He says you must be the prettiest girl he's ever seen.
And I'm not even a single star, much less a whole galaxy.
Time doesn't fly away—it dies,
And I've come to realize that we die with it.

We were always taking scissors to our paper hearts—
Cutting shapes to let the light in,
Then throwing the scraps like confetti, though,
They fell more like rain.
We just wanted to feel something,
But now we're puppets without strings—
We spent so much time trying to get free,
We never dreamed of where we'd go,
Or if we'd go there together.
Now I'm tangled in your goodbyes and telephone wires;
There's a hole in my chest where yours used to touch.
I see your face when I look in the mirror,
As if I've forgotten whose shadow was sewn to the soles of my feet.
I carry you with me—maybe out of habit,
Maybe out of love.
To be honest, I can't tell them apart;
I don't think I ever could.
When you see the moon
Illuminate the fog,
Comforted by the creak of your porch swing,
Do you miss me?