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121 · Oct 2018
Who Am I?
Ruheen Oct 2018
Who am I?
Am I the person everyone thinks I am?
Or am I the person I write about?
It's at times like these
When I am truly lost.
This speaks for itself.


.
120 · Dec 2018
CONFUSED
Ruheen Dec 2018
Millions of thoughts, fighting in my head.
Which will I pick, to move ahead.
Words spilling, through my mouth.
Neither soft, nor loud.
No order, just my feelings,
Which, through my fingers, are leaking.
Yet I am still stuck, in the depths of my soul.
I'm writing, but I'm losing control.
Digging my nails into my palm,
I'm trying to breath and stay calm.
I open my hand and see the scars,
There's blood trickling down my arm.
Now I have an idea, at least I think I do,
But then again, maybe it's better I stay confused.
I don't know. Been saying that a lot lately. Make what you want of this.
117 · Aug 2018
No Reply
Ruheen Aug 2018
Do you hear that?
It's silence.
Can you see that?
It's nothing.

It was once there.
I could see it.
And when I called out
It always answered.

I know it's still there.
Even thought I can't see it.
But when I call out
There's no reply.
113 · Aug 2024
cold
Ruheen Aug 2024
i like the rain
the sound
makes me feel like i'm alone
so when i'm in the shower
i cover my ears
so it sounds like the rain
and thunder
oddly enough
even cold water
begins to feel
warm
113 · Feb 2019
Just A Little Advice
Ruheen Feb 2019
BREATHE.
Best piece of advice there is.
104 · Sep 2019
Identity 3
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them hurt
I hurt too

I'd rather be framed
For what I didn't do

Than run and hide
Because that isn't right
I hurt, I die
They hurt, they lie

I'd rather be nothing
Otherwise, I wouldn't be certain that

I'd rather feel pain
Because then I'd be human
Last one (Maybe, for now)
Ruheen Aug 2024
~

in a British accent

i do not fear solitude
i fear being left alone after already having someone so close
i'd rather enjoy my own company;
it is for this reason, amongst others,
i think myself to be quite fascinating

~
It sounds better in an accent. I pretend I'm in some historical fiction novel or movie.
103 · Sep 2018
Never - Ending Words
Ruheen Sep 2018
I have lived many lives
I have escaped many times
Through the power of words

I have shed many tears
I have shared many fears
With the tales I've held in my hand

I have laughed many days
I have rejoiced many ways
Because of the emotions I've felt

I have waited many hours
I have wasted many thoughts
Just to let the ending sink in

But a real book never truly ends
The people never really leave
As for that to happen
Readers would have to not believe
This kinda explains how sometimes books are all we have. They're fantasies. They're an escape. Sometimes living someone else's life is better than living your own. Sometimes we need it.
102 · Sep 2019
Identity 4
Ruheen Sep 2019
let them be stars
I'd rather be flying like a meteor

alone, but free
together, but stuck
lonely

I'd rather be far away, than close to home
I'd rather feel the wind in my hair

let me go
Didn't really like this one, but well...
Why not?
98 · Sep 2018
The Pain Is Gone.
Ruheen Sep 2018
Closed eyes,
Lost mind,
Bleeding heart,
Empty soul,
Open wounds,
Dark rooms,
Locked doors,

The pain is gone.
95 · Nov 2018
Say Something
Ruheen Nov 2018
Say something.
Anything.
I just need you to,

Say something.
Anything.
There's nothing I won't do,

To hear your voice,
Just one more time.
You need to realize,
A word will be just fine.
Just please,

Say something.
Anything.
So that I can let you go.
I don't know what compelled me to write this. I just sat down and it came out. As a song.
95 · Sep 2018
When We Die
Ruheen Sep 2018
When we die, our secrets die with us.
As do our sweet lies and bitter truths.
Somehow, to me this makes sense.
92 · Apr 2019
Miss Me
Ruheen Apr 2019
Tears in my eyes
Hands on a knife
Such a sad life
I've had to disguise

I'll be going to hell
I wish you well
Grief is a spell
Can't you tell

Don't send flowers
No one's died in hours
But me, I'm a coward
So, don't turn sour

Based on your insecurity
I figured you wouldn't care for me
You finally saw me
And now you're starting to miss me
Yeah. Well, yeah.
92 · May 2019
One Star in the Sky
Ruheen May 2019
I want to paint the sky.
Paint it red.
Paint it black.
Paint it with a million stars,
For I only see one.
It doesn't shine too bright,
But maybe because it's dying.
Like the colours of the sky,
It dies down.
But unlike the colours of the sky,
It won't come back.
The colours of the sky
Will rise again.
But that one star,
It's energy will
Dissipate
Into a void.
Lost in space.
I don't want a sunset.
I don't want a blue sky.
I want a sky that's so real,
It almost looks fake.
Because that one star,
Is holding out hope,
Even though it knows.
It's not so bright,
But maybe once it was,
And maybe a fire that burned so bright,
Just wasn't meant to
Last.
Saw a sunset today that looked like a painting. It was getting dark.
Then I looked and I saw a star. There were other stars, but I focused only on that one star. It reminded me of something I read once.
Staring at that star, I felt free. For the first in a while. Strangely enough, I also felt an emotion I 'strongly dislike'....hope.
It was liberating.
Try it sometime. Just look at the sky, find a star and focus on it.
It might help with all of life's complications. (People being one of them :/). For the first time in weeks, I'm not that stressed. Weight lifted.
91 · Feb 2019
Never Me
Ruheen Feb 2019
It's them.
It's always going to be them.
It's never me.
I'm always the second choice.
Last and certainly the least.
It's never me.
Self-explanatory. I'm the second choice for everyone, including my family.
Sad, isn't it?
Oh, well, what can you do?
And don't give me all that crap about me being someone's first choice, one day. I already know that.
Waiting is just boring, tiring, and I hate it.
90 · Dec 2018
Time Travel
Ruheen Dec 2018
Too bad we can't time travel,
There are a lot of mistakes I need to fix.
There's a lot I would want to say to the girl I used to be.

I wish she knew that her life was going to be hell.
But,
She didn't.

And the past is the past.
It's what made me who I am now,
And do I really want that to change?
Do I?
88 · Aug 2018
Wake. Up.
Ruheen Aug 2018
Wake. Up.
What do you see?
What is it?
What’s making you scream?

Wake. Up.
This isn't real.
It doesn't exist
It’s all in your head.

Wake. Up.
Your eyes are playing with you.
You’re just seeing things.
You’re only dreaming

Wake. Up.
Have you ever seen or felt things that weren’t there?
Have you ever had a dream that turns into a nightmare?
Have you ever woken up, screaming?
And they say it’s nothing.
83 · Mar 2019
Seems Fair
Ruheen Mar 2019
One's own life devoted to make the lives of many others easier.

One's own happiness sacrificed for the happiness of others.

One's own life sacrificed for the lives of a thousand.

One for a million,

Seems fair.
Seems fair to me.
But is it to you?
These are my thoughts. Now I want yours.
So.
Thoughts?
Ruheen Oct 2022
cherry-picked words
taste sweeter on
my tongue
than your hand-picked
cherries

— The End —