I'll take you, make you mine
You're already in my possession before we begin
Lies with truth and the truth become lies to one self,
whether they speak lie or speak truth I will always see absolute
You will have it all and I will have you

That is the agreement
whether you know it or not.

I don't have to trick you nor deceive
I give you what you want and that's how I achieve
I am the devil I presume
Bringing gifts and awards
With that I absorb you recognize me as lord

This is the deal
whether you like it or not

I don't even own my self
I own you and I am owned by you
So why are you confused
This is an abuse on abuse relationship where I am obtuse
To think I let my self manipulate you

You ever have that little nagging in your ear?
                                                            That­ Consumes everything you hear!

"Why did you do that?"
                                                          ­                                           "I don't know"
"Do you know anything?"
                                                                ­                                " I know for sure"
"What? "                    
                                                                ­     "You're the banging on my door"
"...Shut up"  
                                         Yet because of that nagging, that noise, that pest.
                                                           ­          You feel like your life is the best.
"Tell me I'm pretty"
                                                         ­                                      "You're beautiful"
"That's not what I said!"
                                                   "I rather give you more than give you less"
"That's not what I want!"
                                                          ­                                               "Me neither"
"So..."
                                                ­                                                              "Wh­at ? "
"Shut up!"
                                                  No matter how much you seem to be down
                                                     That noise can make a smile from a frown
"Wait"
                                                         ­                          "Could you move faster"
"No"
                                                           ­          "Oh my god you're so annoying"
"Thank you"
                   "You just gonna acknowledge and accept you're a nuisance?"
"Yes"
                                                ­                                                          "I hate you"
"No you don't"
                                                                ­                                      "...Your right"
"I know"
                                                           ­                                      "Shut up lets go"
"Ha!"                                                        ­                                
                                               You ever have that little nagging in your ear?
                                                            That­ Consumes everything you hear!

I used to walk with hate.
Brimstone in my chest was my heart.
Misanthrope-Hater of humans.
Hate for the way they daycare the planet with,
War, Hate, Theft, Violence, Torture, Madness.
I was human too and I wasn't that bad,
so self help books is where I began.
With that start I began to become art.
However, I didn't know where I was going or what to do with what I was learning.
I was at the inception without an origin.

                                       Then,
                                              I met her

                                         It was nothing at first
       She was nothing and so was I.
                                   I didn't even think she was all that attractive,
            back then.
                             She was a nobody and so was I.
                       A ******.
                                                         ­                      An odd ball.
                                         A stranger.
                      weak,
           wacky,
                                                          ­                          STRONG,
                           ­         ****,
                       average,
                                                        ­           amaZING!

                                                       ­     I didn't know what to call her.
                  Now she's a friend and only the future could tell.
            And yet, she made me happy.
She made me more me.
                                     My thoughts were so lost
            all over.
                                          she did this.
                                                           ­ I thought I hated it,
but she was a damaged good.
She made it good to be damaged.
                                                        ­                                 And I was so broken.

It took so long to figure it out and I was so confused.
Despite her not knowing or feeling the same.
Despite all the hardship.
Even if it means nothing.
Some way and manner,
I can't explain or understand.

                                                    ­I love her

Little boy was so smart.
Had the highest grade.
Best day,
was when he pretend to be sleep when he was made,
Valedictorian.
No one knew how upset he was, to stand out above.
To be better, best, and yet, who really cared.
He saw and knew the work was easy, only reason others fail,
was because they never tried.
Old soul he was told by many so far in age above him.
It was as if hubris hugged him.
Why put full effort when only half was good enough.
We were just slaves in a system testing who was just enough.
It never matter he knew, not at all.
He was just waiting to see his classmates fall.
They believe they were working to live life,
in reality they were working to be life.
To be another part of a bigger machine,
rather live life for there own esteem,
and I was smart, but I was the same.
Little boy Genius .

Only I could hate God, and admire 'em too.
As they say the biggest haters were your biggest fans.

The world was filled with suffering.
How can I believe in a ruler that let it be?
How could I hate in something I don't believe?
There had to be something there for me.

I Abandoned God and religion looking towards nature and the natural.
Survival of the fittest, only those who chose to be fit survived.
That's how I wanted to be alive.
At the top, apex, better than best.

Only I can hate God and be like so much like 'em.
What kinda ruler let's suffering be.
That's a tyrant to me.
I choose to be a King.

I've always had complicated Thoughts
Side by side they fight and against one another they fought.
Fifth graders shouldn't be ready to die.
No one should hate them self.
Ready to torture and degrade their self.
I knew I needed help.
Yet.
No courage was there, my courage was theirs.
To do what they want and say how ever they wish.
Loneliness was bliss.
Yet
I wanted to fit.
I always wanted to belong and get along and sing a song about how joyful life was.
Well life wasn't well and I couldn't even get along with my family so I never belong.
Yet
I had love.
I had people that cared
I always had that "weird" friend that made us a pair.
I had fun moments and great teachers then I got to church to listen to good preachers.
Yet
Nothing change.
I was still that student who was suffering and no one ever knew because he could lie in the way he behave and show a slave to good faith when really he was a beaten bag on the inside.
Yet
There was no yet now,
not in this moment till later came,
till later was the new now,
till I could look back and smile.
Yet
I am proud.

Is it my fault for digging the hole in which you crawl?
after you heard the girls whispering about your size
Who am I to say you are not beautiful at all?

You bought all that makeup to look like a doll
but he still walks past as tears flood your eyes
Is it my fault for digging the hole in which you crawl?

You read what was written on the bathroom stall
so you look towards me to confirm the lies
Who am I to say you are not beautiful at all?

You sit alone in lunch and walk alone in the halls
asking God as you look upon me to remove your disguise
Is it my fault for digging the hole in which you crawl?

It was in fact you who created your own fall
looking towards you to accentuate your flaws
Who am I to say you are not beautiful at all

In a way I helped you build your wall
though I can not mirror what your face implies
Is it my fault for building the hole in which you crawl
Who am I to say you are not beautiful at all