he moon I share a kindred sense with, it hovers alone in the void of the cosmos, never really seeing life

But it glows with such a radiance, how majestic it mirrors, illuminating in the gaze of all to see

I look at the magnificent with a sense of sadness, and a sense of almost… faded envy

I do not hold the wonder it holds, the grace or beauty it radiates every night

I am just a shadow, sitting on the edge of a veil, alone with my bruised innocence

Alone with my tearful eyes, sitting with my thoughts, watching the moon up high above

Hold your hands in mine,
As the sun becomes engulfed

In the mouth of the bleeding
Dove, cooing in desperation

As the world grows darker
And dim, with hate and fear

The final moments lasting somber,
Lingering as cuts uncleaned

Is your hate for fat individuals truly so? Or are you merely expelling what hate you have for yourself

Why does their happiness upset you so? Is this because you envy what they have? Or are trying to get?

For I know they are fully aware of themselves, is it really about their health? Or is it just… Sorrow of the self

There was a neon angel, that seemed to be close

I grasped my hands around the lights, like a moth to the moon

I felt the warmth of the glow, the feeling of completion

I felt a cold, like a knife on my spine

That angel seemed to fly away

And I seemed to be sinking in the groud

And the world grew grey

And I lost some flesh

As the world, seemed to be slipping

From my axis

We met in flashing lights, in a serenity that seemed like fate

We formed in the presence of melody, locking minds to each other

We set our gazes to one another, looking at the whites, never looking grey

We turned to the present, to enjoy the moment of wonderment

We saw the human condition, laid out in vulnerability and flaws

We took it with grace, for we saw it for it’s honest skin

We saw fate in the atmosphere, but with a joker in the sleeves

The time will never come back, a wound that will never heal

It’s a crushing blow to the mind, a painful cut to your emotion

Closure is the hymn you wish to hear, time is the service that you want to last forever

Nostalgia to blur out the moments of melting sorrow, those buzzing moments of confusion of doubt

The time will never come back, so we must go forward with the time left

To go forward in resolve, for you are the creation and end, the alpha and omega, the one to see the path to its final pyre

Go with strength and hope, you’ll find that shade to lay in, with warmth in your bones, and love on your sleeve

Go forward, the time can never come back

I’ll wait till the cigarette burns against tongue, then will I discard the incendiary creature

As it hums along with the silence of a silent street, soaked with rain, baptized by the gods of senselessness

Thrown among this hurricane, called the modern age, it bleeds like a sacrifice upon the alter

The denizens that seep from the shadows, strum along to a blackened howl, the mind numb in anguish

For this 21st century becomes more a fable, and less a legend

My sorrows match the colors of these streets, light melted across this rain soaked asphalt, looking for shape and purpose

The emotion that pains the skull, seems too illustrious for the somber end, only in loneliness does it play it’s trumpet

For our 21st century, is a burning alter of our pasts sins, and the gods no longer head our prayers

To be a cog on a machine breaking down, it makes the limbs weak with grief, and the stomach sick with dread

With the hesitant faith growing more fearful, the whispers of the midnight fox seem to carry, among the winds that feel dense and confused

It won’t be long this trial of stone

How it will play it’s culling song, whilst the world burns in asunder

As I take another creature, and strike it to the orange titan that wishes for flame

I’ll sit the night in my ideological sorrows, with anxiety and dread, conversing with philosophical doubt, married to low self esteem

’ll wait till the cigarette burns against tongue, then will I discard the incendiary creature

As it hums along with the silence of a silent street, soaked with rain, baptized by the gods of senselessness

Thrown among this hurricane, called the modern age, it bleeds like a sacrifice upon the alter

The denizens that seep from the shadows, strum along to a blackened howl, the mind numb in anguish

For this 21st century becomes more a fable, and less a legend

My sorrows match the colors of these streets, light melted across this rain soaked asphalt, looking for shape and purpose

The emotion that pains the skull, seems too illustrious for the somber end, only in loneliness does it play it’s trumpet

For our 21st century, is a burning alter of our pasts sins, and the gods no longer head our prayers

To be a cog on a machine breaking down, it makes the limbs weak with grief, and the stomach sick with dread

With the hesitant faith growing more fearful, the whispers of the midnight fox seem to carry, among the winds that feel dense and confused

It won’t be long this trial of stone

How it will play it’s culling song, whilst the world burns in asunder

As I take another creature, and strike it to the orange titan that wishes for flame

I’ll sit the night in my ideological sorrows, with anxiety and dread, conversing with philosophical doubt, married to low self esteem

The sky painted in oil and blood

dripping down against my forehead

I am a chemical division, a science of erratic nodes

Swallow of another pill, to keep my mind from the depths

I am a bard without a mouth, a fox without its wit

m sorry I couldn’t produce a fantasy

To give away those awful memories

That you had been given so many times

But the world can’t grant those things

And I am not a mystic

Even if it seems to be harsh

All that can be done

Is to keep going

I am unsure if we are ever free, if we ever truly know something that doesn’t feel like life

My feathers have become much weaker, and my age seems to be my foe

This shroud of dread, that rains acid across the green and gravel

The air becomes thick with fog, and I feel that quivering sickness again

Oil runs in the veins
Coats the teeth black, makes the lungs ashes
It filters the morals with an axe, it makes the ground barren
It becomes an ocean filled with blood, and the shores scattered with bones
A catalyst for the grip, that wraps around the throat and chokes
In the desperate hours, it becomes like a drug
A ****** unlike any kind, it’s a most vicious bite

What a curious day, the sun beeming as if it saw the sky for the first time, the forest rusting with a silent melody

The creatures all residing withing their safety’s, the wind painting it’s portait among the waters edges

But not a human around, as if the rapture has happened, as if the world was only ever me

I look around, but no sense of humanity anywhere, only the distilled sounds of the breeze

I look and nothing around, my hands tremble with a fear and unease, as if I am being drowned

I sit under a shaded oak, and watch the empty roads, listen to the empty houses

Look at the empty cars, the empty lives

And sit with my empty tears

The soft piano keys of an innocence that was once known, were the creative and bright mind had grown

A few feet were added to the body as the years went on, that brightness changed with the voice, the creativity almost gone

The bells of education rang for its last sermon, the body walked out with a joy and uncertainty, but the feeling at the moment was determined

But when the waves of reality came to the shore, you realized you were sold a lie, with tears in the eyes, your joy was no more

The piano played to the background of a heavy rain, the mind flashed to that innocent era, but tears came back realizing it would never be the same

The romance you try to find, in all the little absences that no one seems to be aware of

The lone flower among the sidewalk cracks, the simple rays of light through the leaves

The purity you have to try and look for that, is something to be treasured in a world like this

Never try to give that up for another view, this world is cruel from the skies to the streets

You hold something organic that not many people have, nor too many people appreciate

But you musn’t let that cynical claw break your wings, for you have a pure soul that can help

Even if you don’t think that you can contribute, you are innocently unaware the kindess the world needs from you

You write such beautiful stanzas from the steps you take, the small smiles you give to the sidewalk warriors across the town

From the gentle touch you give the hurt pigeon on the steps, to the small laugh you direct to the mothers child

You have such a grace about you, you hold something purely universal in the fingertip hymns you conduct on those cups of water

You must never lose that joy you have so naturally, for it is infectious to those that see you as something to inspire towards

Magnificent is your speech about the breeze in the afternoon, you talk with an open choir of unapologetic happiness

Somehow you are a living version of a sonnet, a painting that walked away from the ink, and dawned flesh and bone

There’s confusion to try and figure your presence, for you are a candle of vanilla evenings, a soothing bible psalm in the eve of dark

Don’t give up your flower crown for one of thorns, you hold a golden river in the lovely iris of your eyes, an oasis in those freckeled cheeks

Sunshine in this morning can not look as radiant as your exuberant state,

illuminating you are to the day as it washes by on your waltzing beaches

How the atlas ribs seem to map out your inner content, something of the biblical purity, but never do you judge

Only to you help and love in the maelstorm that can arise, a rare type of creature you are, rare and excitingly amazing

The singing rotted chimeras, of the oozing blood church

Sing their disemboweled hymns, as the somber bell chimes to the dead

Along the pews are dried blood bibles, words of horror and sorrow

Written by men who thought to play God, and reap the values of the meek

As the suicide clocks strike their hands, and the blood soaked ravens take their flight

The blackened sun sets on the streets of acid, and the blissful dread plays as a music box

The pain of losing, is never something you can adjust to
It’s always a knife into the veins, tiring your senses, bleeding your tears
It is only when you learn of the trials, do you know that it is natural, and sadly inevitable
But we must remain steady, for life does not stop in the blizzard for us
We must follow it’s footsteps
Or be lost

You showered down the staircase, in waves of color and crystals

You left petals of pink orchids across the hallway

How coulld I remain in this place, knowing you were here

I’ll never walk down this old eroded street again, they’re to close to what I wish was gone

The past is to much of a burden to the present i’m in, it’s time that I walked from the pavement into the rain

I’ve walked towards the coastline in this world, it’s littered with skeletons and crows crowns

The preaching oak is slowly getting on in age, he knows of the doom in those sands

Each day that sea is growing blacker, and the sky seems to turn a darker shade of blood

So I sit with remorse in a jar, and send it among the waters, to the kingdom on the other side

Here is what is craved, the sensation of seeing the blood, the lifeless flesh of something once person
The blood that seeps from the open head wound, the scattered matter of brain that paints against the ground
Like a lullaby for our apathetic ears, we tune in to the morbid display of death
Look for the pain, in the face that is blown off, can you see the fear?
Only do you see flesh, bloodied flesh, ripped and shredded
Is their satisfaction yet? I hope it can come quick
Was it worth this? Can you appease that fanatic hunger?
Listen to the lullaby we create for you, our electronic, angelic hum
Feed the black claw that reaches from your skin
To touch the corpse of your satisfaction

I have a heart full of doubt, my eyes fogged with the deafend sounds of a hope, that I can’t seem to find

My cage is closing in on me, my wings losing the feathers with each gust of hurricane sorrows

But I must chip away at this copper wire, for I can see a sun outside that glass

I had a dream, that one day I would walk among the grass, and the sun would set on my back

There was a dream, of a day were I would be free, but it seems that it has slipped by

I know that its not an easy sorrow, I must take each one as the pain of a stab

But I have to keep my mind in sleep, for I must keep having that same dream

For it is the picture I put to my eyes, to put my mind to the painting I must bring to life

I had a dream, that one day I would swim in blue waters, and the moon would look as full as my cup

For I am tired of this hunger, I wish to have the honey of a greater path, to have my belly full with the fruits of this fabled joyous life

But it hasn’t come yet, and I sit with my eyes blackened by the soot of this burning cage, I feel the burn evaporate the marrow among my bones

I have to press forward, as a stream among a forest canvas, I must find the waterfall to reach the larger waters

I had a dream, that one day my wings would glow from the sun, as I flew through the sky as fast as the whispers of better angels

I watch my legs, detach from their place, and walk as though they never needed me

My eyes are bleeding, the most beautiful glaze of grey, as it paints my cheeks and drips to the floor

My heart grows needles, from the inside of its chambers, it seems to sew away another wish for me

My teeth become black, at the touch of my fingers, as the pulse in my hands beats violently

My lungs begin to collapse, as they sing a rhapsody of death and grace

My veins turn neon, as though I am a star, and I have reached my supernova

My astral skin, begins to erode, as the sweat of my brow begins to calcify

My mind becomes snakes, that slither with intent, while I sit in horror and bliss

My feet never twitch, for they are stone, and I am marble

I shake the hands, of all the pines
As they see me down the line
The green roads turning beige
My eyes covered in a viscous haze

My heart is setting the table
Inside my chest for the craddle
Of little leeches and mouths to feed
And abandon all my hope and creed

But the trees are looking down
And they sigh with heavy frowns
At the state I am going to end
The bone of my back I’ll bend

But the skies are lavender and blue
And my feet seem to always go through
The thickest mud, the sludge and raptor teeth
While the knife is on my throat, and I hold the sheath

A specter watching by, no advice
With the abyss reading, the mourning concise
As I walk this path alone
Knowing of not any home

And the sorrowful tears of lose and death
Is a record of our true evil, the darkness we indulge in every day
We liken ourselves to the angels of a desert text, but we are nothing more than animals without impulse
We are simply chemicals of hedonism, and we are blissfully drugged by our own egostistical denial
There is a darkness that permeates through our humanity, and those that try to hide it, enable it even more
There is light in this world, these are not the words of a cynic, only the words of someone tired of hate

There is no true recourse for the evil deeds done in this life
We have conditioned ourselves to block out the dark
And only show that there is light
And while that may help you in your self
It desecrates the pain that is given to those
That are vicitms of this terrible darkness
Our ribcages are sown shut to the truth
Our hearts only beat to the drums of our pleasure
I am no different than what I say, I am me
My exhaustion has reached a peak though, and I can’t seem to stomach much anymore

Another bible must be written
Not one of stories and metaphors
No judgment of hell, or a fear of total control, from something above
But of love for one another, for the light that is in our souls
Of the waters that give us life, were we may all bathe our hearts in community and docility
We are of the same cloth, we are only separated by opinion and hate
This is an action we must undertake if we want to survive
No more of the desert stories, no more of our dark indulgences
We must look to a brighter future, we must make it a brighter future
We must create our path not with bone and blood, but of grass and orchids

I constructed a piano, out of dead leaves and pine needles

Frail it was, pitiful it looked

But I played it without shame, as most as I could

To create sounds, to my desolate landscape

And for a moment

Break away, the chains of the lonely sin

In dreams a showering of silver wings, ones to clip on and fly away

to lift your body from from the ground, and soar among the birds

In reality it sinks back, the moment that causes your mind to go astray

Then a look among the pile, and realize the books are nothing but words

A walk among the pace of the living, it’s a feeling that seems never ending

A look to the trees and you see freedom, a cardinal that speaks words uncaged

He looks and says it may seem a curse to you, the time on the ground you’re spending

But do not take it for fault, do not become enraged

You do not need wings in your spine

I know you feel like a fish out of water

But take a wise word from my time

You are just a youngling, just a starter

Soon the world will be a pearl to you

To wear on your neck and shine

As it glows a shine that radiates true

And in time, you will find your place down the line

Progress is a road paved with blood and sorrow, change is never truly peaceful

We as a nation must keep hope as a candle, lit in the darkest corners of our species

For we must not let those that sacrificed, become the statistics of meaninglessness

So we must walk with heavy hearts, and lead boots on bones and blood

For we will see a sunlight above the fog drenched roads

And the shining fate will be there to greet

For we are deserved better

Than sorrow and senseless cruelty

Here is were the bodies rot
Under the gravel, under the lot’s
As the sun burns the flesh around
None of those griefs make a sound
So much is the way things can be
Futile and barren, under a willow tree
And the devil sits with tobaco in pipe
And he will leave his mark, at first light

Time becomes a burning coal, it ignites all the willow memories you used to have

People become former shades of themselves, I guess this is the process of change

Time is the running river, down the mountain it travels, each moment racing by like the crystal water

Rare it seems that I am, a creature of idiosyncratic eccentricities

To some it is a badge of individuality, a crest of creative virtue

For this soul, it seems to be nothing more than just sorrow

To wade around in the waters of humanity, floating with stunted breathing

Never catching on to limbs, rocks that could become my sanctum

Looking at the sky in hurt, wishing to float away from it all

To see the infinite wonder of the cosmos, where I feel I would belong

And maybe it is an attitude of naivety and pretentiousness that I carry

But no joy is taken from it, only dread and somber rains in my hands

And hurt is given to others, from this

There’s no amount of poetry that can mend a pain, there aren’t enough romantic words in the lexicon of languages to mend sorrow.

To live around venom everyday is a challenge, to have your character attacked or ridiculed on constant basis is a deep abyss in the heart.

To be told you are waste, not the same, not following, sinful, confused, submissive, ignorant, flamboyant, deviant, *****, unhealthy, heavy, obese, loose, lustful, primal, degenerate, ****, faking, crazy, miserable  words of the ones that don’t fit against the normal waves of society

It’s easy to say ignore, it’s docile to say just let hate slide off of you, but humans don’t simply remain happy under constant sorrow and hate.

We don’t live in a reality of fairness and equality, no docility or friendliness, no mutual respect or kindness

Those who say we do, are ones that don’t see the darkness that is evolving and expanding around.

We are merely the plankton to this titan
For we are so convinced of our right
That we do not realize our demise

The time will show when we see the rise
The lonely sounds of a thousand suicides
As the buildings become dressed
In a beautiful cloth of fire and hell

For we will know that our end was another fault
But we will never admit as the burning rises
That it was us that gave our own eulogy’s
We were the one’s that pulled the plug

These rivers will come back to bite us
These trees will fight us tooth and nail
And when nature takes back its revenge
It will be the reckoning we created for ourselves

I laid your body down by the river bank, you looked at ease as I dipped your hair in the waters

I went to woods around, and found wild flowers to lay on your chest

I placed them softly in your hands, and laid them across the sunset that was your arms

How they would hold me in my oblivion, and see me out of the abyss

You are gone from this world, and the pain is something that is almost unreal

You told me to not worry about the future, but that’s hard to do when you aren’t here

You were always something solid in my life, you were the tree I sat under when I needed a place of safety

Oh how I wish my tears could bring you back, I would cry till I no longer was hydrated, if it meant you would be with me again

I would bleed my arms to the river you lay in, I would throw my flesh to the wolves around, if it meant you would kiss me once more

I have to learn how to be by myself, and it’s the most hollowing thing I’ll have to do
You told me to be strong, and that you would always be with me

You were always the strong one, you were always the sun, you were always the light

Now you lay on the river bank, your hair looking as strands of oasis in the water

Your skin is radiant like an emerald, your beauty was only a factor of how special you were

Now I have to learn how to live again, learn to live alone

I feel sick looking at you, knowing I have to send you away, down the river

You made me promise that I would send you away like this

You always were so amazing like that, you were an angel of nature

You wanted to float down this river, were we used to lay, and watch the moon above

You said you wanted to go away like a flower, floating on the water to somewhere new and exciting

So I’m doing what you wished, even if it means I’ll never see you again

I don’t know where you’ll end up when I send you away, I hope it is somewhere you will be at peace, were you will be at ease

Even now, you have a faint smile, a smile of someone pure

You looked so tranquil as I laid you in the water, the river stream as soft as your hair laid against my arms

When I let you go, I grabbed for you in reaction, I didn’t want to lose you

But I knew this was your time to leave, so I let you become the flower on the water, and watched you float with such grace

I sat on that riverbank, and cried the most bitter and sorrowful tears, because now you were gone

And I was alone

But you said I needed to be strong, not just for me, but for you

You said I would see you again, in an eternity of joy

I don’t know what you meant, but it sounded nice

The faint sounds of the wind, play me a song of sadness

For they know I have lost you, and wish to mourn with me

I love you, and always will

I should have said it more, maybe it would bring you back

Time isn’t moving, it’s just staying still, and my hands are stained with these black tears that I shed

I have to do my best, to stay strong, for I made a promise to you

That I would do my best, to stay strong

To stay strong…

Strong…

But I don’t know if I can, but I can’t break the promise

Because it’s all I have left of you now

The river were I laid you to depart, will always give me great joy, and immense sorrow

For it was the place we went to talk, to share our souls, to commit our youths to the laughter of our joyous innocence

Strong…

This I’ll try my best for you

Because

I love you

I’ve tried looking to the horizon

But it’s blocked by a smokestack

So I’ll stand here and rust

And just sleep, until I become nothing

Your society does not care for you, you are a lepor, you are the disease

Your government does not see you as human, you are merely an insect, you are disposable

Do not believe the wolf tears of the ignorant privileged, they will skin you to bone, and wear your grief on their smiles

This is the modern world, the past merely changed hats, it is stil the same beast

The ones lost, were never looked for
They were only stories, only emotions
For people to cry their crocodile tears
And exaggerate their empathy

The ones lost had names
And they will be lost in time
For we do not care to remember them
Only enjoy the drug of outcry

Our ****** is outrage and feigned sympathy
We thrive off our own egos, and the passion
Of our virtue signaling, but when it comes to
These lost ones lives, we could care less

For we are not a nation united
We are a nation selfish
A nation built on ego and self preservation
And will sooner let someone be lost forever

Then have to for a moment, actually be human

Position this anguish to the course of broken seas, it’ll begin a anew another tribulation of heartbreak

For this energy never dies away, it merely finds another host, another soul to begins its parasitic phase

Take this energy and lay it to rest, deal with the demon and move on from it, for it will never go away unless it is dealt with

I hope when we crown our court jester, to be the king of this wretched land

That he sets fire to everything standing, poisons every river

For we will have deserved it, for our years of hate and ignorance

I’ve wandered to the lands of shadows and twilights, to search for happiness

It is filled with morbid creatures, and cruel landscapes

It is a treacherous depth, a walk among the gardens of abyss

But to find this happiness, that I’ve heard in legends

I will scale these gothic paths, and challenge these ferocious beasts

For the pain and distress of this land, must be worth the light from within one’s self

That can be obtained, that can radiate this warmth, that I’ve heard in so many stories

Shrouds follow the confused

Prey unaware to their fates

Walking to an unknown

That they never will see

Unaware of the blood that runs through the cracks, among the withered corpses that lay beneath them

Denial is a foul drug, it is not mended by intervention, it isn’t removed by honesty

It is expediated by horror, it is exorcised by the blood drenched enlighenment

For honesty doesn’t cure it anymore, denial has evolved beyond the scope of reason

It has grown legs, it speaks as it pleases, it preaches as it pleases

It gains power and leads the ill informed to become its pawns

It is a mighty sick creature, a disgusting ooze that seeps into the minds of the unlucky

Denial is a fungal disease, it spreads its spores to all human life

It is chaos, and seeks to destroy

This is the way of denial

And ****** to those that help denial, for they become the sickness as well

How the sky looks peaceful in its existence
The envy I hold against it, I wish for something like that
How those colors seem to look so tranquil
How I wish I was in that state, a sky in peace
How tranquil it would be, how so greatly docile