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I probably should have let you finish your coffee before I spoke.

Sensors off the charts.
An earthquake of raw emotion beyond control.
Tectonic vibrations all over the kitchen.

Windows to the soul stained red from yesterday's burden.
It was there all along, I know you know that I know.

One barely visible membrane of composure is the last thing holding up the whole god ****** building.

Kinetic veracity.

POP

The dam might of held for one more day.

Seriously though, your a ***** in the morning.

Art.
you are a bunch of different things
but not someone i ever thought i’d write about

you were the cute guy in my class
the one i looked forward to talking to

you were the one i shared music with
the one i didn’t know if i liked

you were the one who helped me study
the one who did more distracting than helping

you were the one who kissed me
the one who made me feel things i haven’t felt in years

you were the one who heard me
the one who still liked me, despite all my problems

you were the one who couldn’t be in a relationship
the one who i can’t have

you were the one who i never thought i’d write about
i really didn't want to write about you.
 Jul 2018 ali brown
julianna
The (waning) distance between your hand and mine makes me nervous.
I am not afraid of touching you, but I'm afraid of what might happen if I do.
I tried to look extra good just in case you were (and you were) there,
but never considered the possibility of my efforts working.
Is this flirting?
It's rather remarkable the way my brain constantly pushes away thoughts that you could (and you could!)
like me.
But, nevertheless, you kept a steady gaze (and smiled, even though you have a short attention span) as I told stories.
And I'm a terrible storyteller.
Not to mention,
You played with my hair, offered to share your drink with me,
And hugged me goodbye for longer than what is normal(ly acceptable).
I've been trying to convince myself that this isn't flirting.
Yet, on paper, it's quite
Undeniable.
I'm quite awkward. And he's quite cute...
 Jul 2018 ali brown
Tina Marie
I watch you roll with
precision. You see me,
looking at you,
looking at me.

How do I turn this
silence into something?
A little tobacco, and other things
occupy the air in our shared
atmosphere. It is obvious,
we are both more than aware
of each other.

You look my way, I look away.
An endless game of tag between
our eyes. You stand and I
watch you leave.

I like the way your
joint sits on your lips,
but I'd rather it
be me.
 Jul 2018 ali brown
Elizabeth
It was three am and, we were still up talking- laughing at inappropriate jokes with tired voices and sleep blending into the whites of our eyes like paint being mixed before an artist creates her masterpiece. By the window, I sat, staring at the moon and it’s perfect figure, so round and complex with ridges only where meant to be. My mind was searching like a lost child for an answer to my happiness, my mind was searching for a reason to be unhappy, but each time it would fail then try again. By the fifth time searching, I finally realized that this was what it was like to be ok. This was how it felt to be living for more than sleep at night and empty rooms. This is what it feels like when the stars are aligned, and everything is still. Tonight the moon asked me how I was feeling and for the first time in forever I said I was doing quite alright.
What are your conversations with the moon like?
 Jul 2018 ali brown
emnabee
The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.
A little escape from the madness.
Or maybe, into.
A vast blanket of darkness, the world at night
Bombarded by the explosion of light
Were you bedazzled by my kaleidoscopic luster?
You were silenced with awe
And your eyes manifest wonder

My splendor of lights were formed from the shadows
And in its depths I'll return
Sadness and hurt made indigo
Bliss and jubilance made yellow

So light me up, ignite me
be the flame to set me afire
colliding thoughts had lifted me up
This is my extravagant goodbye

As the last glint of light flickers
in the last seconds of my show
as it falls slowly to be one with void
i'd like to see one last smile aglow

you're the spark that triggered me to combust
i was once a firework show
now one with dust
I thought of this while watching the fireworks last new year.
We are all fireworks just waiting to be lit. Concealing feelings til we can't take no more. A firework for me is a grenade's beautiful way to die, so you're lucky enough if you find someone who'll either light you up or pick up your pieces when you explode.
 Jul 2018 ali brown
Nivine Nahli
The stars and the moon,
Have fallen beneath my feet.
You brought them to me and
It all makes sense now.

Since there is no radiance,  
Above me anymore.
In a split second,
My heart has changed.

Thinking it was kind gestures,
But only taking away what’s left in me.
I have nothing to look up to,
No stars to count, no moon to watch shine.

You left me with darkness.
You took away my universe.
You took what you gave me,
Buried it beneath my feet.

And wondered why I was so cold and empty.

n.n
 Jun 2018 ali brown
Nat Lipstadt
why I love certain men


it’s a raining and writing Saturday,
a washout for the beach visitors who chose their
calendar lottery tickets poorly

but hurrah and huzzah for the poet
in the no-sun-today-room with
steam collecting on his face from his 20 oz. Canadian mug,
the rest of him cozied neath a
wooly mohair knitted and tasseled blanket,
from a now naked and shivering alpaca goat in Turkey or Tibet

perhaps we’ll make a tiny dent
in the 1319 poems,
in the ‘sorta started to do’ list

****.
new one sneaks in demanding immediate satisfaction
and threatening my mind’s incarceration unless,
serviced and unleashed as the Frenchies say

Frites, immédiatement!: (french fries, now!)

I love most men; certain men more than others,
not because they are soft to the touch,
look great in thigh highs, can fix a backhoe,
lay hands on animals, just as they do upon their grandchildren,
or write better poetry than me,
because
they make me weep from zealous delight at
their capricious unprecedented constancy of their
honorable actions

they are soft to the core, which is itself
wrapped in a leather soldered steel,
which defines them by their self-questing constant,
asking themselves preface and postface,
doing it well, in between,

what is the honorable thing?

this honor idea of which writ previous
doesn’t dissolve - indeed grows crescendo stronger,
like the miracle of the Yom Kippurs rams horn
crying out to heavens at the concluding end  
on the holiest judgement day,
a shofar miracle for it inhumanly grows ever louder,
ceasing only when nightfall marks a new day begun,
reminding both sinners and saviour each,
to inquire of their colluding selves on this forgiveness-giving day,

what is the honorable thing?

some are borrowers and some lenders,
of anything, the substance or the whom matters not,
but the bonding bonfire from which the deal is done,
is of a uncharted organic chemical matter unrecognized
but millennium ancient


here I stop

the call to breakfast must be obeyed,
for it’s with lovely made, menu man-poet requested,
this is too an honorable thing to do,
and the 1319 half blood~half writs poking my eyes,
can be faced with new courage afterwards
on a perfect raining and writing Summer Saturday
for the next one hopefully and woefully

may not come till the September (Rosh Hashanah/Jewish New Year) when acorns fall

certain men will greet that fall Sabbath/ New Years Day,  
when Atonement begins, a ten day process to the final conclusion,
by asking of everything living and of every act human performed,
for the forgiveness requested inherent in the absolute bar setting of

what is the honorable thing?

which by the by,

is why I love certain women too...

and all who are honorable
will read this honorific and remain
clueless as to whom it is addressed...

oh god, I do so love that best!

what could signal honor even more...
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