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256 · Sep 2016
Comfort
Sam Sep 2016
You can hold me,
you can tell me its going to be okay.
But what you cant do, is feel the pain.
Comfort doesnt rid the pain,
Its just  a distraction of the real  problem.
I need to do this on my own,
to figure out myself.


But, then again,
it doesnt hurt for you to be there.
You can't feel the pain,
but you make it bearable.
So please, Dont leave.
I can't do this without you.
Im sorry.
The first part I wrote awhile ago. I was then inspired today to write the rest.
254 · Sep 2016
The Sun
Sam Sep 2016
It rises,
It sets.
Sometimes we long for the end of thy day,
So we can start fresh and anew.
Others, we wish that day could last forever,
Holding it in your grasp, and never letting it go.
The Sun
A funny concept.
We tell time by it,
by a star.
What *is
time anyways?
What does everything mean on this earth?
Something that happens now,
Will be forgotten soon.
Twenty years from now,
Will I know I wrote this poem?
On September 27, 2016 at 11:20 p.m.?
I may not remember the exact words,
But I hope I'll remember the message.
The sun rises and it sets for a reason,
to give us a second chance,
a brand new day to be happy,
*to be free.
Message-Learn It.
254 · Sep 2016
Am I reversing the effects?
Sam Sep 2016
Have I turned it around?
Am I doing it, too?
I'm afraid.
I don't want that.
I can't do that.
I can't lose them.
I need help.
254 · Jan 2017
Day and Night
Sam Jan 2017
For myself, Hatred is felt.
Many occasions pass by,
Mind still rambles on.

Old, New, Fake
All related to one,
or to another.

Life, throws,
pulls, centers,
and collapses.
all in one day

No stopping,
No starting.
Constant wheel,
forever in motion.

Hatred disguises in symbols,
themes and images in life,
in people.

Hiding amongst the bushes,
under the brush,
concealed from the world.
*waiting.
252 · Dec 2016
Camera of Truth
Sam Dec 2016
Violet and Red no longer grow,
only dark shades of green seem to replace.
The gardener can come, and dig with a ***,
But the deep rich colors, can no longer glow.
250 · Oct 2016
Familiar Lyrics
Sam Oct 2016
Call me a something
Treat me cruel
We don't belong here

I don't belong here
Not in this atmosphere
Goodbye
We Don't Belong Black Veil Brides
Human Race Three Days Grace
249 · Nov 2016
Time
Sam Nov 2016
Refresh, Revived, Renewed.
Ready to take on all that world has,
Ready for a new beginning, a new start.

Temptation, Desire, Persuasion
One little taste, It won't be bad.
One little shot, It won't hurt.

Remorse, Spiral, Collapse
Dark shadows overcome the heart.
Dark shadows stop it's music.

Brightness, Vision, Light
He stood in front of her.
He whispers, It's not your time

Medics, Help, Revive
Gasping for air, for courage, for strength.
Gasping for air, to speak of the vision foretold.

Refresh, Revived, Renewed.
Ready to take on all that world has with courage,
Ready to take on a new beginning *with strength.
249 · Nov 2016
Hallucinations
Sam Nov 2016
Is it bad for me,
to let myself live in a fantasy?
or is it better to move myself,
back into the place we call reality?
Reality *****.
Fantasy is amazing.
Though fantasy is fantasy for a reason.
Mixing the two,
forcing fantasy into the reality,
ending worse than reality itself.
*I live in a fantasy, in the world of reality
and I'm not sure how to move forward.
248 · Oct 2016
Confessions #3
Sam Oct 2016
Everywhere
Everything
Reminds me,
of the past,
of the pain.
You don't follow, so idk if you are actually reading this. So, no censoring  anymore
248 · Mar 2017
Snow
Sam Mar 2017
Snow is a good thing, right?
Light flurries swirl around me,
As pretty flakes fall onto my hair.
The trees above me shine in the light,
with the layers of ice covering the branches.
Picture perfect moments
Smiling through the icy breeze.

Yes, snow is a good thing,* I say.
pt1
246 · Apr 2017
I feel...
Sam Apr 2017
I feel restless
My neck hurts,
My back aches,
I need to move
My desire to explore
My deaire for adventure
*I want summer
Due dates, tests, AP's Exams, Cram filled Weekends-I need summer, Im slipping away, i need a break
245 · Apr 2017
Changed
Sam Apr 2017
How did I get here?
     I've changed drastically since last year
Am I...a good person?
My mom once told my family
      I have been so good, for so long
                      It's only a matter of time
                        until they regret who I am.
Have I turned into the girl they regret?
Have I become the person they feared would come out?
       The person they feared I'd become?
If so, is it worth trying to fix?
         Because according to them,
                        *It was destined from the start
Am I supposed to regret who I am?
243 · Apr 2017
Situations
Sam Apr 2017
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me*
Sure, that's a nice little saying,
but honestly...the truth?
Words can hurt.
Words can sometimes hurt more than actions,
or words can be a drive for actions to occur.
Seriously, just be respectful.
Take caution in the words you spill.
You don't know where those words will go,
or how far they will push.
You don't know how bad of a day they've had,
or how close they are to breaking.
I am not saying to censor entirely,
just-choose your words wisely,
for they are rarely ever forgotten.
242 · Sep 2016
Who?
Sam Sep 2016
Sometimes,
When you choose to,
When you want to,
You help me.
I feel loved, I feel happy.
Then you do this?
Ignore me? Never answer my calls?
I thought you were better than this.
What happened to the one I played basketball with?
The one who makes me laugh,
the one who is a stupid idiot, but I loved anyways.
Family, sticks together?
Really?
Okay, if this is sticking together,
I'd hate to see your ripping apart.
241 · Oct 2016
Against them All
Sam Oct 2016
To me, you know, you can't deny,
for I can see the suffering in your eye.

This is more than a battle between me and one,
because now I see, who is holding the gun.

Put down the rifle, take out the mag,
for these bullet's are not yours to drag.

I paid for the mystery box, plain and simple,
It is my turn to take out the rocket launcher missile.

I tell you now about Juggernog and Quick-Revive,
because they aren't enough to keep us alive.

I've got you're back, and you've got mine,
as we battle through the challenge of the canine.

Board up the windows, blocking us in,
as we wait for the next level to finally begin.

We are together through this, one and all,
yet you won't always be there when I fall.

Let me take the ray gun in my hands,
as we travel together through the badlands.

I want to hear and feel the thrill,
as the voice around me whispers *Insta ****
This is entirely based off of a video game...
240 · Sep 2016
....Or is it?
Sam Sep 2016
For I once believed it was,
Now I'm not quite sure.
I never know exactly what,
That has kept me here this long.

I don't know if I should stay,
Or to leave it be for good.
Because whenever I feel that I am wrong,
Something happens to prove me right.

So I decide to wait,
Is it worth it?
Give me a sign,
So I know.

Please,
I am not asking much,
Or maybe I am,
and am reading this wrong.

All I know is,
I try to understand.
I try to interpret,
but I usually fail.
I wasn't sure how to end this-so it is kinda abrupt...oh well
238 · Feb 2017
(4) Have you ever...
Sam Feb 2017
felt terrified of what was,
scared of what could be,
and petrified in the moment?
234 · Oct 2016
Possession
Sam Oct 2016
His* car, Her car
It was his, it was *hers
"Mind Blown"-The Silence
232 · Nov 2016
6:11 A.M.
Sam Nov 2016
I wake up.
Tear stained pillow,
Blankets thrown everywhere.

I have to get up.
It takes so much energy,
to push my body onto the paper covered floor.

I don't want to get up.
Wrapping myself in what's left of the blankets,
wincing at the pain felt as my body moves.

I lay there.
Mind whirls already of things that must be accomplished.
Can't I have just a moment of peace?

I get up.
My body aches as I step over the forgotten homework and ***** laundry,
Dizzyness and Lightheadedness cause me to stumble my way to my closet.

I walk.
Putting on clothes to cover the night before,
and starring at the unrecognizable figure before me in the mirror.

I get ready.
Making food that I'm never hungry for anyways,
and forcing my eyes to stay open.

I leave.
To go to a place I am scared to be in,
but sometimes is better than the place I left.
I apologize, this is really bad
Ill fix it up later.
229 · Sep 2016
Songs Heard in the Night
Sam Sep 2016
I can hear the angels sing.
As the stars glisten,
as the moon rises well into the night.
I can hear the angels sing.
Its very rare,
so listen,
to catch a glimpse of the beauty.
The angels dont sing often.
Therefore you must treasure the moments
Forever fleeting like a shooting star.
So Ivhold the angels close,
for hope that the song comes again,
once more
She has a beautiful voice, she just doesn't believe it.
#r
229 · Sep 2016
Photos
Sam Sep 2016
I can't help it?
I don't really understand.
The beauty that shines before me,
is much greater than I've ever seen.
I have tunnel vision,
only getting one clear picture.
A photo of clarity.
It makes everything make sense,
I don't really know why.
My peers have noticed my distraction,
my emotions are as clear as a photo.
So why aren't they clear to me?
229 · Sep 2016
Distractions
Sam Sep 2016
My eyes burn,
I lie awake, rereading the text.
Trying to answer the questions,
trying to memorize the statements.
I stare, I cry, I shake it off, I repeat.
This will help me someday?
Maybe, but for now,
It's keeping my mind off of life.
Having a lot of homework;
a great excuse not to talk to people.
To be secluded in your room all day,
the only light is your computer screen,
as you type away trying to finish.
Every once and awhile,
Life comes to ***** me over.
Homework is there to save me from it.
But, you know what?
I'm learning to punch life back in the face,
and that's all that matters.
To all y'all out there,
Stay Strong.
You can get through this.
This was an unexpected turn, but i'm honestly to tired to care to fix it...
227 · Dec 2016
(1)Have you ever...
Sam Dec 2016
Sat there, thinking about anything.
Feel the sudden surge of saddness,
and try to cry, but realize your body is too weak?
226 · Apr 2017
Lies
Sam Apr 2017
I'm fine
I'm really fine, definitely fine
Fine as fine could be
Never better! Not bad! I'm great,
I'm fabulous...I'm..fine....
im fine....
So I haven't done this-In forever honestly, but sorry for the spam-im extremely emotional and I have no idea why
224 · Sep 2016
I Lie...
Sam Sep 2016
...a lot.
Not in a bad way,
Just to make people feel better.
To have people not worry.
Because everyone already has enough to think about.
Don't go adding me into that mess.
You don't need that.
*Nobody does.
221 · Oct 2016
answers
Sam Oct 2016
for nobody knows the true reasons,
some things just happen.
i cannot choose my emotions,
for they are chosen for me.
i am incapable of the hate being spoken of,
i will never be capable.

for doing things to me does not cause hate,
it causes disappointment.
i will only hate, if something was done to those i love.

lessons will be taken from this,
i do not have to be the one enforcing it.
because you are hating yourself,
more than i deserved to hate you.
you are punishing yourself,
more than anyone ever would.

so now stop this hate,
stop desiring the hurt.
because i will never give you the hate you want.

give up on trying, because it will never work,
you can try to convince me of the hurt.
i will not take it, i will not budge.
i stick to my guns

*i do not and will not ever hate you
221 · Oct 2016
Shortcuts
Sam Oct 2016
It would be easier
much faster
but would it be worth it
would it still be the same?
the little thoughts
217 · Oct 2016
Fear
Sam Oct 2016
I shiver, I shake,
I rattle, I wake.

From across the room I stare at the bar,
Wondering how the hell I ever got this far.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say,
Everything around me seems to be in the way.

I wish I could just curl up into a ball,
Going through my mind just to erase it all.

I cry, I break,
I smile, I ache.

I'm lying to myself, for that I cannot deny,
You ask me questions for which I can give no alibi.

I've done it before, and I can do it again,
But this time, I am more afraid of your reign.

Please help me dear soul, for you're all I have left,
I hate this feeling of despair and bereft.

Free me from, this life of illusion,
I am still lost on the path of confusion.

I'm scared, I'm hurt
I hide, I avert.

I don't know how long this can go on,
Before you know I am completely gone.
217 · Oct 2016
Little Thoughts #8
Sam Oct 2016
Travel,
Enjoy the moments.
*You don't know how long you have left with the people around you
215 · Oct 2016
Don't Start
Sam Oct 2016
The facet will keep running,
to wash the dishes of the past.

The knife will never stop,
chopping peppers until it's perfect.

My advice in the kitchen,
Don't start cooking,
because you won't be able to stop.
213 · Oct 2016
Back
Sam Oct 2016
I am being pulled back,
Well, I am already back.
I was improving,
Then stuff happened,
and I'm back where I started.
Why did I let go
How did I let go
I try to make up metaphors but they never work so I apologize for my blantely obvious poems that **** anyways :).
212 · Dec 2016
Fall Beyond Compare
Sam Dec 2016
Roses and Orchids grown through weeds,
Daisies and Daffodils drowned in leaves.
Yellow and Yellow stick together and fight,
As the light of opportunity fades fast in the night.
211 · Nov 2016
From Sight and Mind
Sam Nov 2016
The little old red slowly fades away,
Into a soft baby pink that glew in array
From across the way, the dasies would see,
wishing they could be as pretty as thee.
210 · Sep 2016
Untitled
Sam Sep 2016
I cannot write a poem today,
My mind is so blankly far away.
I simply just don't have the time,
to be conjuring up some silly rhyme.
I sit here trying to write a line or two,
and I catch myself thinking of you.
For how did I let you into my mind,
Was this something I was supposed to find?
I was free, she was supposed to be my last.
Now you shall help me forget about my past.
I'm not sure where exactly this is going,
It's hard to stop once the words start flowing.
For I shall stop here, and give it a rest.
I really dear hope I wasn't a pest.
I try not to be, I really do,
Because I don't want to be the one that you rue.
Even though I was tired today,
I guess I wrote a poem anyways.
208 · Dec 2016
Buzz
Sam Dec 2016
Around and around the bees fly,
above the colorful flowers.
You'll never know when they'll try,
To gain what's rightfully ours.
208 · Sep 2016
Happiness
Sam Sep 2016
It's a beautiful thing.
We all desire it,
We all search for it.
Some find it with money,
Some search for it through other people.
We are all different in how we achieve our goals.
What is important, is that happiness is received in the end.
The end of what you ask?
The end of the day, the conversation, the year, your life.
We all get caught up in the busy world,
and forget to take a step back.
To enjoy the little things.
The beauty of a sunrise,
The music of the birds chirping,
The dazzling sunlight in the water.
Instead we think about work,
about what others think of us,
about the test next period,
about the latest gossip.
All of those things don't make us happy.
We may think it does at first,
but in reality, it's just a buffer.
Something in the way of happiness,
something causing us not to see, or hear, or think.
So do this for me,
take a step back,
relax,
breathe.
Happiness will come,
Everything will be okay.
*I promise.
listen
207 · Nov 2016
Shaking
Sam Nov 2016
It all starts small.
I don't want to do my homework.
I don't want to go to school.
I don't want to see my family.
I don't want to see my friends.
I don't want to go out.
I don't want to have fun.
I don't want to get dressed.
I don't want to eat.
I don't want to get out of bed.
I don't want to wake up.
I don't want to live.

I'm scared.
I'm scared one day I won't see the light I see now.
I'm scared something will tip me off and I'll go far off the edge.
I've escalated once, I don't want to go back.
I'm terrified.
Please if you're out there,
Don't let me off this earth.
I don't want to go
The top italics are a quote from a post I saw on instagram. I do not take credit for those words.
203 · Dec 2016
Silent [Night]
Sam Dec 2016
Really.
Are you serious.

I've given you warnings,
I've given you time,
I've had patience.

Patience, is no more.
You have pulled on my final straw.
This means war.

Watch your back, young one,
Beware of those around you.
You don't know the strength I have.

My war is different than yours,
I don't use sticks, I don't use stones,
I don't even use the words from my mouth.

My war, is a peaceful war.
A peaceful war you should fear.
Silence is my best virtue.

If I were you, I'd listen to me
You don't know what you're getting into,
Nobody ever does, *
until it's too late
Sometimes family issues just bring out the worst in you, dontcha think?
203 · Dec 2016
Protection
Sam Dec 2016
Throns stretch down the spine,
Protecting from any threat.
Relying only on these thorns,
To have the gardener forget.
203 · Oct 2016
Charges
Sam Oct 2016
Positive and negative charges attract each other,
two positives or two negatives repel.

The day two positive forces come together,
is the day you know something must seriously be wrong.
Answers Unwanted.
202 · Sep 2016
Je n'est pas moi
Sam Sep 2016
Où est-ce que je suis allée?
Je suis perdu.
Comment est-ce que je suis arrivée ici?
Je ne sais pas.
Qui va aide-moi?
*Ne personne.
Le français est horrible, je suis désolé.
199 · Nov 2016
Mellow Yellow
Sam Nov 2016
Daffodils bloom a golden yellow,
between the rocks and trees.
Among the shadows, daisies lay,
waving in the soft warm breeze.
199 · Oct 2016
I am drifting away
Sam Oct 2016
I am flowing down the river of life,
In the beginning, the sea was calm.
No rapids, just a slight breeze.
Eventually the current grew stronger,
Trees and rocks began to block my path.
I was dodging, moving in and out between the obstacles.
I find myself getting tired,
I don't want to dodge anymore.
Instead, I find myself wishing I could just
d r i f t   a w a y
Old poem I revised
198 · Oct 2016
Crutch
Sam Oct 2016
I was once told not to rely on anything,
Use nothing as a crutch, it will do no good.
But if I can't walk without it,
Shouldn't I use it?
If I can't survive without it,
Shouldn't I keep it?
If it helps me through,
Shouldn't I listen to it?

Music

Distracts, submerges me into a different world.
It helps, It gives advice,
It makes me happy.
If I can't depend on it,
Then I won't.
Ill just use it,
For calmness,
For happiness,
and for the entirety of surviving.
But no, I am not depending,
I am only living.
197 · Oct 2016
Possessive Halls
Sam Oct 2016
The ghost of the past travels beside me,
It haunts its way through the empty halls.

Just leave me alone! I beg,
as it creeps, closer and closer.
Never It hisses past my ear.

What have I done to deserve this?
Why are you treating me this way!

Everything happens for a reason It shrills by,
Spinning around me, causing my senses to explode.
I try to stop it, but it just continues faster.

I've had enough.
I'm sorry I scream, tears rolling down my face.

It vanishes quickly,
I collapse to the floor,
but the room continues to spin.

It's still not over I whisper to myself.
*It's still not over
197 · Dec 2016
Carolyn
Sam Dec 2016
Nothing is ever enough
To you, I stand proud.
To you, I stand tall.
To you, I....
Who am I kidding?
To you, I bow down.
To you, I worship.
To you, I....
              I....
To you, I owe my life
My whole being
To you, I am worthless.
To you, I am trash.
To you, I am nobody.
To you...
To me....
**I am one the same
197 · Oct 2016
Click of a Button
Sam Oct 2016
The moment haunts me,
as the icon leaves the screen.
I read, I hold back the tears.
I reread, I lose.
I didn't have the chance to have a proper Goodbye.
I didn't have...
I didn't know
At the click of a button,
Everything was lost.
196 · Nov 2016
Choice
Sam Nov 2016
Everything she tells me is true.
I seek to impress,
I seek to understand.

I don't choose what my happiness is,
What I believe in,
What I laugh at.

They choose it for me.

I don't know how to disconnect.
I don't know how to stop,
because it's what I've taught myself.

She says I was most myself,
when I was away.
How can I bring myself to that standard?

They've taken that privilege away

I want to go back.
Back to that weekend.
So I know what it's like to be free.

Honestly I don't know myself anymore,
because everything I have done,
everything I ever though I believed...

*They'd chosen it for me
If time travel was an option,
there would be so many times I'd visit.
First I'd go back,
back here.
It was when I was happiest.
Not only because I was disconnected,
but so was she.
195 · Sep 2016
Nobody?
Sam Sep 2016
What you deserve,
and what is received.
Two totally different ideas,
sometimes end up getting mixed up.
You deserve more than the hurt,
more than the pain.
You deserve joy.
You deserve freedom.
Let it be known,
Show what you need,
and you will get what is deserved.
Don't let people hurt you,
It will only get worse.
End it now,
You will receive joy, in the end.
most <3
193 · Oct 2016
I'm dizzy...
Sam Oct 2016
Ahh for the cycles continue,
forever waiting for the end.
You never know whats really in you,
because you can no longer comprehend.

As you spin, the dizziness sets in.
You can no longer choose from right and wrong.
You force out a fake little grin,
to show everyone you are okay.

When in reality,
everything is spinning all around you,
and the only way to stop it,
is to jump off the wagon, and follow through.
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